The Three Daves

I've mentioned three Davids who worked with me in the crazy restaurant several times in this and other blogs. I became very good friends with all of them, and not to blow smoke, but my life has been much more interesting for knowing each of them. There's Chef Dave, David D and Tut, although he's gone completely incognito and I haven't heard from him in at least a year. I thought it was time I put a face to the names.
 The reason it came up is because I got a message from Chef Dave a few days ago. It got me thinking that they were all three working at the restaurant at the same time. I know Dave and Tut were buddies, but I'm not sure he'd remember David D or not. He's younger than the rest of us, and back then the age difference was much more significant. He was way too young to serve liquor so he served food and bussed tables. I was going to message Dave and ask him if he happened to remember David D, but then I thought about something that made me laugh. Chef Dave had a bit of a special relationship with most of the new bus boys. I didn't think it applied to David D, because I think he'd have mentioned it while he was cracking up, but I wasn't positive so I hesitated. And laughed.
 The first photo is Chef Dave as he looks now. This is an amazing photo and he's an amazing guy. To properly describe him, or any of the other Daves for that matter, would take an entire post each. For a little background on the bus boy thing I'll say a few words. Dave's a man's man. He's smart in every way one can be smart. He's one of the funniest people I ever met, as are the other two Daves actually, and he's quick. He's a nice guy and he really cares about people but he comes off with this gruff exterior. Interestingly his uncle Joe taught me 7th grade and he was exactly the same way. Dave will say anything to anyone at any time and he doesn't give a damn who gets offended. He has a very low tolerance for stupidity. I've seen him light into these poor girls, whether they were new or not and reduce them to tears because they couldn't remember the dinner specials or whatever. Some of those girls were really hot, if a bit fragile, and I wouldn't have gone biting their heads off just because of that, but Dave didn't care. He saved the best for the bus boys though, and what he did to them still blows my mind.
 Basically he'd go up to a new bus boy and sort of take him aside and talk very quietly. He'd pretend to be gay and have a crush on the poor guy. He'd say some crazy come-on to them with a straight face and then he'd just walk away and never say anything else and just let them mull over it for the next few months or weeks or days or hours or even minutes...however long they managed to stay. He knew I got a sick kick out of it so he made sure to always alert me when he was about to do his thing. "Hey, Kel...come on!" I can still see the looks on their faces when he'd whisper sweet nothings to them and walk away. It was all I could do not to laugh before, during and after the whole thing. They'd try to look cool but they were totally freaking out. I can only imagine what they must have been thinking. I know it was very wrong but it was funny as fuck.
 I wish I could remember half the crazy shit he said to those poor boys. After Dave would walk away they'd sort of stand there looking at the floor trying not to get too bug-eyed. They'd be shaking their heads and I guess trying to decide if the job was worth it for another minute to have to deal with that shit. I doubt any of them expected it. Some stuck it out for the long haul and some quit the next day, but I saw a few take off their aprons and fold them up and walk out the door without saying a word. Of course we'd be short a bus boy and that would slow things down, plus we'd have to waste time scrambling to find a new bus boy for that night or the next day, but Dave didn't care. It was too much fun for him to freak out some poor kid to worry about what it would do to the rest of us.
 I do recall one incident. Dave had given me a heads-up and I was standing right there. Some new kid had started working that day, and before he even knew where anything was, Dave walked up and stood right next to him and said in a very quiet voice "You know...you're a very attractive man" and then he walked off. The look on that kid's face was brutal. He didn't show up for work the next day. Finally the management got wind of the situation and it was like "Don't let him anywhere NEAR the new bus boy!" Dave however usually managed to find a quiet moment to weave his evil magic. That's why I think he never gave David D the royal treatment, because DD worked there for a long time.

Speaking of David D, here he is. In his spare time he's one of the Elvi and he's a true fan. He's a straight-up good guy. I'll have to ask him if he remembers any special sort of hazing from one of the chefs. I hope not. He doesn't take any drugs; prescribed or otherwise, and he's not a big drinker. He's into good nutrition and he's open to natural methods whenever possible. His sense of humor is fantastic, with bonus points for serious quirk potential. He has a beautiful spirit. I'm proud to know him. I won't say too much else since I've mentioned him favorably many times. He rocks...literally and figuratively.

Here's Tut (or Dave 2, I suppose). Out of respect for his apparent wish to go underground, I chose a pic that showed only a little of his face. It also shows him doing what he was very gifted at. Tut's a trip. Sometimes on a busy Friday night he'd prop himself up in a doorway that was right in the middle of everything and go to sleep standing up. I have photos of that but they show too much of his face.
  Chef Dave was a man's man but Tut was a ladies' man. Lots of times when we'd go to a bar we'd play a game called "Name the Girls in this Room that You've Doinked." I'd do good to rattle off two or three if I was lucky, but Tut would be like "Well, there's her...and her...and her...her...her...HER? Oh, hell yeah her...her...quite a few times...and her and her and her..." You get the idea. It was ridiculous. It sounds like he was a pure whoredog, and he was, but he truly was a good person. He was funny whether he tried to be or not. To me Tut was the brother I never had. He did have a brother but he told me many times that I was the brother he WISHED he had. We were tight. We had some stellar adventures during our time together in the restaurant and well beyond that. I hope he's okay.
I met some great Daves at the crazy restaurant. What are the odds that three of my best buds in the whole world would all be named David and I'd meet them all in the same place? I don't know, but what I do know is that there is a considerable number of former bus boys walking around out there who think to this day that Chef Dave was a crazed homosexual who hit on them their very first day there, and they probably never applied for another job in the food service industry for the rest of their job-seeking years. That's funny.