Messing with Your Friends: Something for the Ladies

I've been known to go to a little trouble to pull pranks on my friends. This particular endeavor was something I saved for the women. It just seemed a lot funnier to target the fairer sex in this case. It generally required an accomplice. This was an interesting prank in that it was a delayed-reaction deal. It was like setting a trap and waiting. I never knew when it would take effect and I was never even around to see it, but I'd hear about it, and it was totally worth the trouble. It was original, and people still mention it occasionally. Once the victims got over wanting to kill me they thought it was pretty funny.
Once I selected a patsy, my accomplice would go into her purse and temporarily steal her driver's license. I had a collection of appropriately-sized cartoon faces I'd cut out of the Sunday funnies in the newspaper. I might get Lucy from Charlie Brown or Daisy May from Li'l Abner or whatever. I'd put the cartoon face and the name over the real one on the driver's license and tape it down with clear packing tape. None of them noticed a thing until it was pointed out to them. Most of the time the mischief was discovered when they had to show their ID to buy alcohol or get into a club. When guys were carding them and realized what was going on, they thought it was hilarious and played along. That was a bonus.
 Whomever it was I'd taped Lucy's picture over related a story about buying beer and having to present her license. She said the guy cracked up and told her he wasn't going to be able to sell her any beer. When she asked why, he said "Ma'am, I read the funnies, and I happen to know that Lucy is in elementary school. Plus she's a CARTOON!" "HUH?" she said. He handed her the license. After she cursed me in absentia she couldn't help joining in laughing. There were similar stories..."Sorry, ma'am...we don't serve CARTOONS here" and things like that; mostly harmless fun, but the person who got got the most was my ex-girlfriend.
 I was home one evening on a rare night off and she'd gone to a wine-tasting. She usually got a bit tipsy at those and usually she'd come home in a good mood, but that night was different. In fact she came in and walked up to me and said "You JERK! I got in big trouble on my way home." I was pretty sure I knew what it was but I played dumb."So, what happened?" I asked. "I got PULLED OVER!" she said. "THAT'S what happened! The cop said I was going 40 in a 30, and then he said there was a problem with my license. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Then he called me 'Ms. Worth' and I didn't know what the hell he was talking about and I was sure I was going to jail." She had no clue what was going on until he handed her back her ID, and she had to laugh. Apparently I'd put Mary Worth on her license photo. "Oh, was there a problem with your license?" I asked. "You KNOW there was a problem with my license! Mary Worth, my butt!" she replied. "Is this how you amuse yourself?" "I guess so. Sorry, Mary." Then she started laughing. "What's so funny?" I asked. "When he gave me back my license, he told me to be careful and to go straight home and to keep an eye on my boyfriend from now on and to give Dick Tracy his regards." Outstanding. That was one of my all-time favorite pranks. Sometimes you just have to go the extra mile for your friends.