Old Water

I sawr a thing last night where some British dude had found a tin of crackers that was 150 years old, but the crackers tasted fine. They certainly looked like they just left the cracker factory. I'd have eaten one. The reason they were still good is because the moisture content was near zero, and the bad bugs need it to live. That's why they dehydrate food to preserve it. I have something that's still good but it's 100% moisture. It's millions of years old too.
 This is a type of geode called an enhydro. It's just like the ones you see that look like a round rock, but when it's sliced in half you can see all the beautiful crystals inside; only with enhydros, water was trapped inside before they finished growing and sealed themselves off. The water is presumably millions of years old. Eat your heart out, Fiji water.
 You can't tell from the photo but there's a pocket of air and water inside this rock. You can clearly see the air bubble moving inside, and if you hold it next to your ear and shake it, you can faintly hear the water sloshing inside. That's how they tell it's an enhydro to begin with. When they find one they carefully shave off very thin layers until they get a "window" in the rock, as you can see in the photo. They've sliced through the outside of the rock and into the quartz layer that lines the inside. When they get it thin enough they polish it until it looks like a window made of milky glass has been put in the rock. It's a very cool thing, and thinking about it containing water from the time of the dinosaurs really takes it to the next level.
 I got this rock from the late Joe Kontzen. Joe was one of the most well-known and well-loved gemologists in the world. Any time I went to a gem show or anywhere they were selling rocks and gemstones, all I'd have to do is mention Joe and they'd light up and start telling Joe stories, and before I knew it they were offering me these crazy discounts just because I was friends with Joe. This geode was expertly shaved by his late son Eric. Eric was a long-time friend of mine. He happened to also play sax, and he was good enough to tour with the Temptations and several other big-name acts. Eric knew a lot about rocks but he was nowhere near the walking-encyclopedia Joe was.
 They had a retail store but they kept most of the inventory at their house, and for about eight years I lived just a few blocks away. They had a fortune in rocks...everything from ordinary gemstones to diamonds. One thing that stands out is what they used for doorstops. They had huge chunks of opal that weighed between 25 and 55 pounds. When I asked about them I was told they were rare and highly-prized Brazilian opal that came from a mine that closed back in the 60s or 70s, so what existed was all there would ever be. It was beautiful opal. When I asked how much the big chunk was worth, Joe casually told me it was worth 50K. I was impressed. Not being able to afford that I settled for this enhydro instead, and to me it's much cooler than some sparkly opal worth fifty large. I've had this rock for almost 25 years.
 I was over at Joe's one day and Eric was over there shaving some enhydros. He was shaving off paper-thin layers of rock with a diamond saw until the "window" was thin enough to see through. It's only a few mm thick. He was using a steady hand and he remarked that it wasn't something he ever tried to do if he was hungover. I asked him if he'd ever accidentally broken into one and he said he'd broken into one and it was fairly recently. He said all he could do was drink the water and slice it open and make a regular geode out of it. Think about it...this guy tasted water that was millions of years old. There was maybe a tablespoon of water inside but it was enough to taste. He said it tasted a little sweet and very pure. I guess so. Scientists using specialized clean chambers will drill into these enhydros and use the water to study the prehistoric atmosphere. For the record they find that the air contained much more oxygen for much of the time, and conditions needless to say were just a bit healthier that they are today. Eric was a badass in many ways, and knowing he drank water that the dinosaurs drank only added to his lore.
 I still have several pounds of all kinds of cool rocks from all over the world, and I still remember what each of them is. My education didn't stop with school and I learned an awful lot from Joe. Every time I'd go to Joe's when I'd finally leave I'd gather my pile of rocks I was going to buy and Joe would total it up on a little cash register on the kitchen table. He'd go "Oops" and hit 50% off, and on top of that he always gave me a really nice present, and this enhydro was one of them. These aren't cheap. Most enhydros are quartz crystals that look normal until you look closely and shake them. You can clearly see one or more bubbles moving around inside the enclosed pocket of water.

 Here's a beautiful quartz enhydro. You can see a big bubble about right in the middle. The yellow color is probably due to minerals in the quartz and not dinosaur piss. Examples of this quality usually go for hundreds of dollars. I wouldn't mind having a few of these but I think the geodes are more interesting. You have to look closely to see the bubble and that adds a little more mystery. It's like having a regular rock on the outside and a miniature prehistoric lake inside.
 I also love meteorites and I have several. Anything that's traveled millions of miles and possibly for millions of years always gets my attention, but enhydros may be a little more interesting. Looking into this geode is exactly like looking through the window into the past. It's nothing short of a time machine. It's really very humbling.