I'm Sick

Oh, the shit that goes on inside my head...half the time I have a "parallel universe" going on alongside this one where I make up different scenarios and alternate endings and whatnot. It's just a way of keeping myself entertained.
 Sometimes I crack up in public because something will occur to me that would be the worst possible thing you could ever say or do in any given situation that would just completely freak everyone out. Generally I keep that stuff to myself. Better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a sick, twisted, demented, wacko freakazoid, than to open it and remove all doubt. Wettermark and Keith is a local law firm. They're not above advertising on TV and on the back of phone books. On the surface it's just another shameless lawyer with a fancy name, with no potential for any fun.
 But Wettermark and Keith...that's too easy. "She left a wettermark on the sheets than her sister did." Ouch. That's so wrong. Help me.