When I'm 64

When I get older, losing my hair

Many years from now

Will you still be sending me a Valentine

Birthday greetings, bottle of wine

Will you still need me, will you still feed me

When I'm 64

I remember that ancient song from way back when, and now I'm ancient. I was a kid in grammar school, and 64 seemed like a million years away. I wasn't even sure I knew anyone who was 64...I had to think about my great-grandparents and beyond. I clearly remember that, although I've heard the song a million times, and I can look back now and connect strongly with that old memory. Being 64 didn't seem possible. I reckon it is. 

Cereal of the Day

In the category of "Things that should be a joke but aren't," we have "Poop Like a Champion" cereal. If I'd seen this anywhere on the Web I'd have thought it was a joke, but I was searching fiber and ran across it on Amazon. Poop like a champion, huh? Exactly how does a champion poop? Never mind. 

 The funny thing is that when you first notice the thumbnail, you read the title first, and you're only semi-aware of the bowl sitting there atop the golden column, and after you read the title, you almost expect it to be a bowl full of shit, right? I did, but maybe that's because I'm sick AND twisted. Anyway it has 22 grams of fiber per serving. That's enough to get most people hoppin' I guess. 

 It's to the point for sure, and I love honesty, but they're going for the lowest common denominator, ha-ha, yuk-yuk, and asking a good bit for it. A 10oz box is currently $11.97. Fucking yikes. I guess it's easier (and hopefully tastier) than buying fiber, but it's a hell of a lot more expensive. 

Here's another interesting image from the Amazon ad. It says "Be a master of your movements." Okay then. They really spell it out, don't they? It says "DYNAMIC DUO" in big letters. In small print it says "of insoluble and soluble fiber," but at first I thought it was talking about Dude and his girlfriend Red, like maybe they were a tag team in a shitting contest or something, or maybe a pair of poop-models. These days you never know. 

 Homeboy's grinning and thinking "Yeah, man...as soon as I finish this bowl of Poop Like a Champion, have a cup of coffee and smoke a cigarette, I'm gonna go hit that throne with the quickness and peel some porcelain off that bitch." Sister's thinking "Yeah, I won't be far behind...after he strikes a few matches, lights a candle and cranks the fan." 

Sister here is fine, and she sure does love her Poop Like a Champion cereal. At a buck-fifty an ounce I guess I would too. Don't get me wrong...if you can afford it then go for it. Fiber is good for you...really good, and it says to drink extra water, which is always a good thing, but the quality and purity of the fiber is just as important as taking it to begin with. 

 I don't know what kind of fiber it is (I'm guessing psyllium for one) because they didn't show the ingredients...hang on, I'm gonna Google it (Google-Google)...I see it has psyllium (okay), Chicory root fiber (good) and corn fiber (NOT the best choice). I might have known it'd have corn in it. They tout "No Wheat," but corn is way worse. You can buy a pound of Norcal, 100% organic fiber, with no psyllium and certainly no corn byproducts, for the price of one box of cereal. 

 One thing's for sure...especially with cheaper fiber, they'll be fartin'. Fartin' up a storm. Hey, maybe that's what they like about Poop Like A Champ cereal- it's not the poop, it's the farts. Now I could see that. I've always said that you know you're in love with someone if you can fart comfortably in front of them, so why not an all-out farting contest? If they're really in love they could even take turns lighting them. The couple that farts together shares hearts together. I just made that up. But no matter if they find farts funny or not, they'll be fartin' for sure. No two ways about it. 

 Sadly it's just another example of a ripoff, and taking advantage of good people who want to do the right thing and get more fiber, but who haven't looked into what they're taking for one second. It's way too much money for mediocre ingredients, but they've glamorized it by showing an attractive couple who apparently really dig dooking. But I'm sure that this is what the Elite Poopsters, with more money that education about nutrition, will buy. It's expensive, trendy, and it appeals to the third-grade mind. Come to think of it...it's perfect. They'll make a fortune, and the Poopsters will poop. Expensive poop.  Stay regular.

200,000 Facebook Users Can't Be Wrong...Can They?

Let me approach this carefully, and without my usual anger (if I can help it) and frustration over this stuff, and how they get away with it and most people don't say a word, so please read and consider. So far over 200,000 Facebook accounts have been terminated, for one single thing- talking about negative experiences after getting spiked.

 Now before you go and try to solve the problem by stating the obvious, like some "geniuses" I know will do, saying "Well, it's their platform so they can do anything they want to do" and somehow think you've laid the issue to rest, know that that has absolutely NOTHING to do with it. Of course they can do what they want. You have to look at what they're censoring, and why. You can't just state a known fact and think it explains things. That's stupid. 

 They call it "medical misinformation," but how can that be? It's medical information, pure and simple. These people are just reporting their experiences. They're not making things up or giving "medical misinformation" in any way. Aside from a few lunatics who'd do anything to attract attention, I think we all know that there are LOTS better things to bullshit about, that won't get you into big trouble. How in God's Gray Earth could it be called "misinformation?" C'mon, wake up. You know you want to. 

 Suppose you were thinking about buying, say, a new Tesla. It's a whole different gig, and you know nothing about it. Wouldn't you want to hear from others who'd already bought one? Of course you would. Wouldn't you want to read reviews, both positive AND negative? Of course. I hear Teslas are bitchin' rides, but what if Elon had come out with just a half-ass product. What if he posted it to his Facebook account, and then deleted 200K negative comments. Wouldn't you call "bullshit" on that? I know I would. Buying a new car is a big deal, but shouldn't what you put into your body be an even bigger deal? You'd think so, but judging by many people's appearance these days, which is unhealthy, I guess not. It's sad, but you "get what you pay for." 

 So...200,000 accounts shut down, not just comments, but accounts, simply because these people disagreed with the "Official Narrative" which states, as it ALWAYS states (but we know better), "It's perfectly safe." That should truly wake people up, and I mean 100%, but if not it just shows that people don't WANT to wake up. The kicker is that censorship backfires. When people find out that certain information is being suppressed, they want to know what and why. It's human nature. 200,000 people who had problems after being spiked...those numbers are approaching those of cases of what the shit's supposed to prevent in the first place. Again, please wake up. It sucks to wake up, granted, but in the end it's a good thing! It's a good thing for us ALL. And our KIDS. C'mon, y'all...we need you. We need EACH OTHER. 

 So like they always do, they say it's safe (1-800-BAD DRUG, remember?), without the proper testing, and we're just supposed to believe them. 200,000 people disagree, but we'll never hear from them. 200,000 people can't be wrong. 

Quote of the Day

"Listening devices are part of our plan to abolish privacy, which is essential for the creation of the New World Order." - Alexa, when asked "Alexa, when are the Zombies coming?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPx673yc_Go
 

Search of the Day

Search "Graphene Oxide." It's in the stick that most people have already put into their bodies. If you do happen to look into it, skip past those sites that sound like a broken record- "Of COURSE it's safe!" "Of COURSE it's safe!" "Of COURSE it's safe!" WTF do you THINK they're going to say, when BILLIONS of dollars are at stake? Do you honestly think they'll tell you that it has an affinity for the nervous system, and can cause big problems now, and DOWN THE ROAD? Hardly. They'll say "Of COURSE it's safe!" 

 Oh, and it's nanotechnology- exactly like some of us were saying that the stick would contain, before it ever came out, and people said we were crazy. No, we weren't. Look it up. If you don't have a problem putting this shit into your body, not to mention in an EXPERIMENTAL DRUG, then be my guest. Just don't be STUPID AS FUCK and try to say that we're killers, or that we don't love people. That's bullshit. We're trying to warn people for that very reason...because we love them. Can you dig? Wake the fuck up. 
 

Quote of the Day

"In a country where the sole employer is the state, opposition means death by slow starvation. The old principle: who does not work shall not eat, has been replaced by a new one: who does not obey shall not eat." - Leon Trotsky
 

Photobombed

This morning I noticed that the Moon was looking especially translucent. You can barely see it in the upper-middle of the photo. When I took a photo of it I got photobombed by this bird. Awesome. 
 

History Repeats Itself

I've been trying to tell people that we're seeing history repeat itself. Here you go. Oh, but it's just another coincidence, right? Everything is fine? Wake up.
 

Unhealthy People Giving Medical Advice

Don't you just love it when obviously-unhealthy people try to give medical advice? It'd be like me, a walking stick man, trying to give people advice on bodybuilding. It's a joke, and yet here they are. Dude here (I forgot his name, sorry) was down in Cullman, Alabama, basically ridiculing people who hadn't gotten the stick yet. 

 He basically had the same smirk on his face that you see here. Hint: that's how you can tell that someone is full of shit- if they don't have any logical facts to argue with, they have to resort to insults, mockery and name-calling, just for the sake of keeping the argument going, and refusing to back down a tad or even acknowledge the other person's views. It's what little kids do, and sadly also some immature adults. They're showing what they're made of. They can't help it. 

 I've been getting the same thing from certain members of my family forever. They've insisted that I've been wasting my money all these years on things like herbs, supplements, eating organic foods when possible and not cramming burgers and shit down my throat. I guess they think that I've been fooled by the Placebo Effect for 40+ years. Right. So I've just wasted all that money? Who spends hundreds of dollars every year on doctor visits, meds, fuel and wear and tear on your car, lost productivity, etc., and who spends $0 in an average year? Who's miserable with their general health and appearance? Who's bordering on obese? Who's medicated to fuck and back? Another hint: not me. Who in their right mind would trash a healthy lifestyle...a healthy person or one who's pathetically out of shape? I ask a lot of rhetorical questions. 

 So here we got Biggun, waddling around telling people they're stupid. Have a look in the mirror, pal. 

Most Money Paid in Criminal Complaints

Do you know which megacorp has paid out the most money in CRIMINAL CHARGES? That's right, it's Pafizer- the very same people who (with J&J and "Modernae") are bringing us El Jabberooski. What were they charged with? It'd be awesome if you did your own research so you can see for yourself, but you won't, so I'll tell you: bribing docs, falsifying test results, negligence, etc. It's all right there for anyone to see, including YOU. And yet you TRUST these motherfuckers? There's a REASON some people choose (so far, that is) not to take the hokey-pokey, and it's NOT because they don't love people or they're KILLERS, like our very own prez sez. IT'S ALL LIES. If you want to take the word of CRIMINALS, go for it. Roll up your sleeve. Have a nice day. 
 

How to Sell Percussion

It's great how one thing leads to another, and chalk-up another one for my "Little Voice." Thanks, LV! A vid popped-up in my YT feed. It was someone playing a pan drum or whatever they're called. It's basically a shallow bowl made of metal, with different-sized slots, or tongues, cut into it producing different notes. They're cool and all but they've been around forever and I've seen about five million. Big deal.

 Seeing video #5,000,001 was of absolutely no interest, but then my LV suggested I click on it. I learned long ago not to argue, even though I couldn't see what could possibly be special about yet another video on a pan drum. Good thing I don't argue.

 Turns out the instruments this guy makes are a cut above the rest, as is his girlfriend. He's from Lithuania. He engraves, paints and treats the metal like a gongsmith, and his pans are works of art. You certainly wouldn't mind hanging them on the wall between gigs. But it's the sound that counts, and his sound really good, and better than many. They're also way more expensive, but if I were getting one I'd spend a bit extra to get the best sound. 

 Halfway through the vid he stopped playing. He reached around the back and there were scraping and sliding sounds, and when he resumed playing it was in a totally different key. The notes had changed. I've seen those before but his were a lot better. I was curious to know how much they cost compared to the usual ones so I went to his Etsy page, and there she was. 

 I was scrolling down looking at the various designs, and DOING-G-G-G. That's how you sell mallets, bro. BTW if interested you can click on this photo and blow it way up. Right on. He makes his own mallets, which look like they're pretty nice, and he sure has a nice mallet-holder. OMG she fine. It's a shame he didn't show her face but I'll eat this laptop if she isn't stunning. Look at that...I'm not sure if it gets much better. 

 I've always loved the way a guitar can accent women's breasts, and the pattern these mallets make isn't bad either, and you get to see both of them. I'd love to see about a third less mallets, but I ain't complainin' none. That's a beautiful photo, and beautiful subject matter. I've seen mallets in catalogs since I was five, shopped for mallets in stores and later on eBay and such, and I've seen thousands of photos of mallets, but never have I seen one like this. He should sell just this photo. I'd buy one. In fact I might print one or order one from Walgreens. It's art. Plus breasts. And...oh, yeah...percussion. Cool.

 I wonder if I could buy a pair of mallets, and see if he'd send me a non-cropped image, if he has one. I'd love to see her face, but her body...it's perfect. While a sheer white nylon top might show more detail, I don't mind having to work a little bit, and you have to look carefully with that particular top she has on, but if you do you can see that her breasts are pretty much perfect...nips, shape, roundness, symmetry...it's all there. Makes me want to move to Lithuania, if this sister is the norm.

 She's too much. I think I'll holler at this guy and see what up. I do like these mallets a lot and I could use a pair (of mallets, that is, but that too), plus he makes these tiny gongs that are amazing. He calls them "Pocket Gongs." They're only about 5" in diameter, but they sound much bigger, especially in the low-end and sustain. A video shows him hitting one and it sounds really huge and rings forever. It's impressive, but if you ask me the most impressive thing he's hitting is this sister. Lord-a-mercy. She's tough. 

 
 

Making a Totem

The way this piece came about I think is interesting. About five years ago I was sitting out back at our old place on the river. I was talking to a friend I'd met on YouTube. She's an absolute trip and we talked for well over an hour. Shortly into the conversation I heard a commotion overhead. I couldn't see through the trees but a predatory bird, probably a Hawk or maybe a Heron, had caught a bird that appears from the feathers to be a Mockingbird. 

 I saw several feathers floating down through the branches so I held the phone in one hand and caught them with the other. I grabbed a beaver stick, a quartz point and some hemp string, and made it while I was talking to her on the phone. I don't think I even told her about it. Usually when I make something I plan it a bit first of course, but this just happened, and it's pretty cool. It's an impromptu totem that happened in real-time. 

 For what it's worth I think it's a nice tribute. I washed my hands thoroughly and tied it off in a Ziploc bag with some mothballs for a few days in case there were any bird mites, and it was good to go. What's interesting is that even though the bird has been dead for five years, these few feathers have never touched the ground. I believe that showing respect is an honor, and sadly not bestowed upon us all. God bless.
 

Verse of the Day

"And the light shineth in the darkness, and the darkness comprehended it not." John 1:5 (KJV)
 

IGFEFMtMUfAtPIHGitLTY

It's beginning to dawn on me that I'll probably never get laid again. Not that it's that serious of a problem really...especially as I approach the tender age that the Beatles sang about in a song on Sgt. Pepper's, long, long ago, although I wouldn't mind meeting someone who likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain, as it were. The only real issue is that I hate to go on record with the last woman I was with being the last I was with, but it's the luck of the draw I guess. I've almost considered hiring a hooker but that's not my style and it wouldn't count anyway.

 I hate to go out with an evil, nasty, lying, cheating slutty witch-bitch being my last roll in the hay, but besides her I was truly blessed to be with some women who were truly sweet, loving, intelligent, funny, beautiful and horny, so I'll never utter a word of complaint about the rest of the women I was with. The first gal I ever slept with was a model, and a superlatively-gorgeous one at that, and that fine sister set the bar pretty high. 

 It's not like I haven't tried lately and struck out...I just haven't tried. After such a vile relationship ends, you owe it to the next person to wait a while. I find that you sometimes say things to the new partner that you wish you'd said to the last, and that isn't fair at all. I was raised to care about other people's feelings, and I do, but I realize that people like that are a dying breed. Too bad. On the other hand, if the other person knows that it's just a one-night-stand, and that for you they're just a rebound-clown, then that's another story. Done there, been that, but it can still be murky territory, and you need some time for yourself, to at least get the bad taste out of your mouth. And your soul. 

 It's also not like I have no possibilities. In fact last year there were three different women who were basically proffering themselves, but with the plannedemic and all and blah-blah it just didn't really happen. Never say never, but they've pretty much gone off to other things, although we keep in touch and I usually don't burn bridges. I ran into an old girlfriend (I'll call her Jane) about four years ago but sadly I was still with the witch. She tried her damnedest to get me to go our with her, and if I'd known what I know now I'd have taken her up on it. 

 She's one of those women who's just crazy-healthy and vibrant, and the reason is that they've all worked in health-food-type places for most or all of their lives, although she also teaches. BTW I know another sister who got a job in a health-food store straight out of high school, and worked her way through college. She started working there just to get a discount on stuff, and that's all she's ever done. I dated her sister off and on forever, and she's blessed with extreme beauty and youth, so it's certainly in the genes, but her sis is a different story. No one ever believes her age. She looks 35 years her junior, and that's no joke. 

 The previous sister Jane is so young-looking it's spooky. It's almost like "The Picture of Doreen Gray" or something like that, or maybe time-travel...I don't know. Nah...really I do know. It's because she eats healthy, takes the proper supplements and whatnot and doesn't take meds, and she doesn't put any bullshit into her body. HA-HA...except for me that is, back in the day. 

 I've told this story before but it's a classic, and you couldn't give a woman a bigger compliment, or accidental pickup line, if you tried. A good while back I was setting up in the afternoon to play a party that evening. It was at a huge house with a huge lawn with ancient trees and all, and I saw a very attractive woman walking to her car. She saw me and smiled, and keep looking at me and smiling as she walked across the lawn toward me, as if she knew me. 

 It was like a scene in a movie. The house belonged to one of the Elite families...a red-brick mansion in a yard where they'd probably spent at least half a mil on the landscaping alone, back then. She emerged from between a 10'-tall, beautiful stand of Red-Leaf Photinia. From about 75 yards away I could see that she had a glow, which was most impressive considering it was a beautiful sunny day. No kidding...if it'd been dark I bet I could've seen her aura glowing, without the use of psychedelics. 

 When she got a little bit closer I literally froze. She looked just like Jane, only I hadn't seen her in almost twenty years and if anything she looked younger than then. I was just standing there holding my cymbal bag or whatever, maybe my dick too, and I was frozen like a dummy and staring like a fool. I couldn't help it, and it seemed to be okay because she kept looking at me too. She walked up to me and stopped, still smiling. So far so good. I was tripping, and I remember literally having to close my mouth. I was already staring at her, and I didn't want to drool too. 

 She was just standing there waiting on me to say something, but I'm sure I looked like someone who'd just seen a ghost, and I really felt like I had. I finally managed to speak. "Ummm...you have a clone." "I do?" she replied. "Yeah, or something...a Doppleganger...a twin, and I mean a carbon-copy. Do you happen to have an older sister...a good bit older?" I was standing 18" away from a woman I'd known, in the biblical sense too, and I didn't know who she was. I mean, I know whom she looked like, to a T, but Jane should've aged some, yet she looked about 22 maybe, same as when we last dated. It was freaking me out how much they looked alike. It was because they were the same person. 

I said "Do you have a sister named Jane, by chance?" "I AM Jane" she said. "Son of a..." I started to say but stopped myself. "JANE!" I exclaimed. "KELLY!" she replied. We hugged like there was no tomorrow. "How...what did you...what's the deal? Time-travel?" She laughed and told me she was still doing the health gig. It was remarkable, and I was flabbergasted. Anyway the reason I brought her up is that when she tried so hard to get with me a few years ago, she told me that I was a "commodity." I appreciated her candor, and she was right. Same for her. Speaking of...I really need to track her down and give her some of my lotion and lip balm and stuff. Hmm...she really let out the slack trying to get with me fairly recently. You never know...

 But alas I may die never getting any more pussy for as long as I live, and if so it's okay. Although my dick still works fine I'm not led around by it quite as much as I was in my sport-fuckerman years, but thank God it still happens sometimes. Men have a tiny brain in the head of the penis, and while it's tiny in size compared to the regular brain, it can completely short-out the big brain and cause it to make the rest of the body do whatever it takes to get a piece of ass. 

 I remember so many times being at a party or a club and under certain circumstances I was literally being led around the room by my dick. I knew it was in control and it was useless to fight it. Plus we made a good team some nights, but then again sometimes it got me to make a complete ass of myself, and ruin any chances of ever getting with that person again. I'd hear this little voice in my head that I knew was my dick. It'd say "Hey, Goofball...THAT one ever there! Let's GO!" and off I'd go, just like I'd been jerked away by one of those curved sticks they'd use to pull the joker offstage back in the Vaudeville days.

 Then it hit me that I've been poontangless for three years officially, although the last year of our deal was shit, and so technically it's closer to four, but for pride's sake I'll call it three. I was thinking about one day when Doug and I were out running errands. It'd been three years since he'd dated anyone, and like me the three-year anniversary hit him. "You know," he said, "I haven't gotten any pussy in the last three years. I'd have to fuck every five minutes to make up for it." We cracked-up, and then he repeated it, with embellishments, in a sing-song voice.

"I said IIIIIIII gotta-fuck-every-five-minutes-to-make-up for ALLLLLL the pussy I haven't gotten in the last three years." We started laughing even harder. I picked up on the rhythm and the groove and joined-in. We got louder, and pretty soon we were driving around in the middle of town, with the windows down, yelling "IIIIIIIIIIIIIII gotta-fuck-every-five-minutes-to-make-up for ALLLLLLLLL the pussy I haven't gotten in the last three years!" to all of the poor people within earshot, and we were dying laughing. It was hilarious, but I guess you had to be there. 

 So yeah, I find myself in that boat.  I thought back to that day and I got a chuckle. As much as we were getting our jollies and screaming like lunatics, Doug too wasn't overly-bothered, but he wouldn't have turned anything down. The stark difference between me now and Doug then was that the last woman he was with was a pure goddess. She was fine as wine...Good GOD, y'all...sweet, hot as a firecracker, friendly, very smart, and oh, yeah...she read books on how to please men in her spare time.

 The one I was with...let's just say that after sex with her I'd often get a monster headache, which was really unusual, she she'd try to tell me that I'd exerted myself so much I'd gotten dehydrated or raised my BP too much, but it was because I'd been fucking a demon. Doug had an angel. I had a real-life Succubus. Big dif. Big, big dif. Doug would've gladly hooked-up with his gf again, and rightly-so. Me? Shiiiiit. No way Jose. 

 I see ads for dating sites all the time, and most of them know I'm an old fuck, so they're geared to my age-group, which is "old." I see everything from "young women who dig older guys" to why I should be dating Scandinavian women to ads for boner pills (don't need them yet, thanks). One fact about dating sites is they're crawling with narcissists looking for victims, and worse, and by some miracle I've never had to rely on dating sites, or the aforementioned hookers to get dates. I was never good at hitting on women (except for a couple or three times when I was blackout-drunk, and according to witnesses, I walked up to every female in the room, with my hands three feet apart, and said "Baby, I got a dick THIS BIG!"), but if I saw a little crack in the door open up I was in like sin. 

 Besides, you never know if the person is totally full of shit, or even if that's their real photo or not. I've heard millions of stories, from guys anyway, who met someone online and saw a beautiful photo but it turned out to be a hag, or worse, they got friendly and "she" turned out to be one of those "chicks with dicks." Ouch. Most people lie like motherfuckers but I have an aversion to lying (and liars), and I'd have to be truthful if I were to put up a deal on a dating site. My profile blurb would be something like:

 "SWM, almost 64, seeks SF, 35-70, for conversation, companionship and maybe more. If you're financially-independent, and don't mind someone who isn't, ring me up. I have no house, no car, no job, no income, no future, no life and no hope, but my dick still works fine without taking boner pills. Holler now...ya hear?" 

 The part about my dick working would get 'em. A little truth might be the way to go, but ads ain't my game. I've made it this far without dating sites and hookers...why change now. It'd be funny though. I bet I'd get a few hits. I hear there are lots of lonely women out there who could use, as the late, great Benny E would say, "A good gooberin'" and I'd be the guy.

 There are still some amazing women out there, and not all of them are married. All these women I've met online who are so smart and so funny and so genuinely nice and all, and who are into things like meteors and solar charts and the Schumann's Resonance and such, and who make me feel like I've died and gone to Heaven when I'm chatting with them...they're all over the US, and in fact, the world. If I could find one of them here in the Tragic City I'd be over the Moon, but I ain't worried. 

 I'll leave with the classic tune by Bob Marley, "No Woman No Cry" (link: HERE) Of course he's telling the woman not to cry while he's away, but if you take the chorus by itself it could mean that there's no use crying over no poontang. Sorry, Bob. It's like: "No woman?" "No cry." Punctuation is everything. What truly sucks about the old band not getting together is that I knew, just as sure as I've ever known anything, that I'd meet someone nice, at least to have coffee with, but OH, WELL. 

 With one notable exception I've been blessed with knowing some amazing women, and with one or two exceptions I still talk to them occasionally and there's a lot of love, especially between my first true love (I was hers too) and me. She told me some years back that she married someone as close as she could find to me, which blew me away. I searched the world over for another like her, although I knew in my heart back then that I'd never find anyone close, and so far that's been the case, with all due respect to "all the girls I've loved before." If she ever became single I'd follow her to the ends of the Earth. Well, part of this was funny. To any interested sisters, please read the forth paragraph up. Thanks.

 

The Worst Jokes in the World #7,437,443,785,423

"What do you call a reluctant spud?"

"A 'Hesitater.'"
 

Great Sets from Old Movies

My friend on YouTube was at it again with her Movie Noight last night. She picked a couple of old British horror flicks, including the one this scene is from- "Island of Terror" from 1966. I was almost surprised it was in color. It had Peter Cushing, so you knew it was going to at least be decent. For my money, the more cheese the better. 

 The inhabitants of a small town on one of the British Isles had a bit of a problem. Someone or something was killing people, and not only that but their bones were turned into jelly basically. That was an interesting premise. A doctor and an investigator or whatever went to investigate, and of course they needed a proper scientist, so they paid a visit to the "Scientist Man," as Frank Zappa sang in the classic song "Cheepnis," about B-movies just like this one. 

 I had to grin, and grab a screenshot of his pad. This takes me back. I was still a tyke back when this came out but I remember furnishings just like this. I don't know what it's called exactly but I call it the "Architectural" style, with everything having cool shapes and sharp lines and such. This isn't even half of the room. You could put a kid through school if you had all the stuff in his house and could sell it on eBay. I believe the message here is that being a scientist is a good gig. 

 Speaking of good gig, before the Bud Greene band imploded from substance abuse (of course), we were making really good money, and were about to make the leap to making even more. A few bands were pulling in the equivalent of $8-$9K from the door, and we were better than most of those bands. I was designing a house in my head that my dad would draw the plans for, and I planned to have at least one room all in early-70s decor. 

 I wouldn't mind having an alternate living room just like this one, minus the ceremonial masks I'm afraid. Dig those lamps, and the sectional sofa with matching coffee table. Far out, man. Dig the wifey in the next room. Maybe it's his girlfriend or his mistress but in British movies back then she was probably his wife. Maybe she was his secretary, or even a scientist too. I didn't find out. Maybe she was "The Chemistry lady with the roll-away mind," as Frank also sang. In any case she was hot, and seeing the shadow of her getting dressed in the next room while he's pouring cocktails totally makes the scene. Gimme that over CGI any day. That's style. 

 She came out and she had on a nice sleeveless silk dress that wanted to open up just above the cleavage. They settled-in on the sofa, making small talk and enjoying their drinks. She was giving all the signs and he was reading them. He was just about to get a hot piece of English tail, and she was about to take one for the team, when there was a knock at the door. Timing is everything, and it wouldn't have been proper to show coitus in a British film from the 60s anyway, and Jello-bones got the call over a fine piece of ass, and helped the plot along. I guess she sipped her drink and turned on Top of the Pops. 

 Not long after he left to go to the island to find out what was turning people into blobs in three-piece suits, and left the missus all alone on the sofa, I crashed and missed the end of the movie. I'm about to finish watching it, but, SPOILER ALERT: I've already seen the monster. It's a green, wet, wartish blob being pulled around on a dolly, with a long, squid-like appendage coming out from the middle of its forehead I guess. It ends in a pointed, spade-like apparatus that's apparently what does all the damage. If anything major should happen, or if they show another groovy room, I'll update. I reckon they'll kill the blob eventually. It's a shame about all the deaths. If I were scientist guy I'd grab some flowers and go home and knock them boots immediately. But science (SCIENCE) comes first. I get it. Nice pad.
 

Salt Lamps (and the Planet-Eater)

Salt lamps are groovy. They're good for the air too, and for us. Sadly they're hyped for something they really don't do except in limited amounts, which rightly-so gives the "Quacksayers" something to correctly debunk. It's claimed that heating salt releases negative ions, which it does, but not in any significant quantities in such a small unit. There's much better ways to generate negative ions anyway. 

 I like this type, with large rocks loosely-arranged around a good ol' incandescent bulb. You're supposed to use a 1", 5-watt bulb, but I put two if these into "Turbo Mode" by upping it to a 40-watt candelabra bulb. This bitch puts out some heat, and brightly-lights a dark hallway, so that's another feather in its cap. The salt crystals are beautiful and look a lot like Rose Quartz. 

 I have a couple of larger ones that are a single large crystal, about 6" tall and hollowed-out inside for the bulb. It's only large enough for the smaller bulb, and you wouldn't want to put a forty-watter in it anyway...it'd overheat and explode. This one breathes. You have to dump out all the salt to change the bulb, but it's fun to put it back together like a 3D jigsaw puzzle, to best cover the bright-ass bulb. 

It does get hot, and if you handle the salt less than an hour or two after it goes out, you'd better be really quick or have an oven mit. If you get salt TOO hot though, such as in a kiln or a really hot fire, you wouldn't want to be anywhere near it or downwind. Vaporizing salt releases chlorine gas, which you don't want to breathe if you enjoy living.

 It really shines in Winter. The extra heat is welcome, and the beautiful color resembles the rising or setting Sun, and it's excellent for combatting Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. It can severely affect people who live near the Poles and don't get as much sunlight, but it can affect anyone in Winter. It gives a cheery and warm vibe, and that alone is good, but the anti-SAD deal has been proven by science (SCIENCE). 

 Also proven by science (SCIENCE) is its ability to kill germs and bacteria, including the You-know-what. Again it's not on a massive scale, and nothing like a dedicated air-purifier, but it does kill bacteria in an interesting and rather savage way, to the bacteria anyway. The tiny, unseen bugs ride around on equally-unseen tiny water droplets (vapor), except of course within the 6' Magic Circle that magically protects everyone. 

 These microscopic bugs are cruising around on/in microscopic water droplets, floating around on the air currents, looking for some hell to raise, like a tomato to spoil or a nose to make run, and hoping they'll get lucky and land on something to fuck-up, but, oh, no, there's a salt lamp ahead, and they seemed to be drawn toward it, even though it means certain death, and they can't steer away from it. The sinister orange glow looms ahead and grows bigger... "NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo..."

 

I think about crazy shit obviously, and it reminds me of the "Doomsday Machine" episode on the original Star Trek series. In this episode there was a crazy-ass machine(?) thing that ate planets. It also ate anything else it could snag with its tractor beam, but it was hungry, and mainly went for planets. It was a bit like a Sea Anemone, that will catch tiny plankton in its sticky "arms," but won't hesitate to grab a fish if it can.

 If that thing happened to mosey into our solar system and eat Earth right now, it'd have a severe case of upset stomach, if not outright hurl, and it'd have to go look for a few limestone moons or whatever to eat, to fight a really bad case of acid-indigestion, just like Space-Tums. 

 The planet-eater was pretty badass, but in the end, Commodore Matt Decker, played by the great William Windom, was badasser. He was a brave sum'bich, and it didn't hurt that he'd gone a tad off his trolley, but the thing was like an interplanetary shark with ultra-thick skin that nothing could penetrate, from the outside, that is. Decker stole a ship, rigged it to blow, and drove it straight down the thing's throat, or straight up its ass, depending on your point of view. 

He drove her straight in and headed for the fireworks-looking thing in the back. They switched to a side-view, and for a few tense seconds, while they spared us having to see Commodore Decker melt into protoplasm, there was nothing...and then "FWWWWOOOOOOSSSSHHHH," as a flame came out that would make any kid with a chemistry set proud. It looked like maybe it was letting out one last massive, dying fart, and there was still enough of a spark left to ignite it. Any kid with or without a chemistry set'd be proud of that one. 

 I can imagine the bacteria facing a similar scenario (without the massive fart) as Commodore decker faced...unshaven, disheveled, maybe praying, crossing his arms in front of his face and one second away from certain death...well, at least it was quick. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEE! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..." It's not always a good idea to go to the light. Just ask Icarus. 

 In reality I guess it's really not quite that dramatic, but you never know. It depends on how you scale it I guess. Sometimes I get bored and make stupid skits in my head. Maybe the bacteria never knew what hit 'em. Salt does kill germs though, at least the ones on droplets. Salt is hydrophilic, which means that moisture is its BFF. That's why we put rice in salt shakers. Rice and moisture are even bigger buddies than salt and moisture, so the salt stays dry. The droplets crash-land on the salt crystals, and the heat instantly kills the bacteria, and then sends the clean droplet on its way, in even smaller form. Cool, huh? 

 I'm a dork and a nerd and a geek all in one but I love learning about how things work, in large or small format. They should go with the SAD deal and back-off on the ion thing, but I guess they're hopping on the science (SCIENCE) bandwagon.

 Speaking of SAD and science (SCIENCE), there was a classic episode of an ancient TV show called "Northern Exposure," which was fictionally-set in Alaska. Walt, an older but still a badass resident, was diagnosed with SAD, and prescribed a visor to wear. It had lights that were similar in frequency to sunlight. Walt started wearing it 24/7 because he got high, and he went manic. 

 He started chopping a cord of wood a day and swimming in ice-cold streams and reading a book a day or whatever, and he was high as a kite, both from the visor and lack of sleep. He drove everyone crazy talking shit about everything, and how young he felt. He finally started to hallucinate, and he wrecked his truck, swerving to avoid a herd of imaginary moose, or whatever it was. He was trippin' bollocks. They had to have an intervention, and took the visor away from him. It was nuts.

 Overall I'd say the salt lamps are worth every penny, especially since I got them at an outlet store for about $5 each. The smaller bulbs burn forever, and without that "digital" glow, but the 40w bulbs burn out every few months, plus I have to handle hot salt crystals, not for the faint of heart, or delicate of skin. The solid ones sit aside the big-ass TV, and actually make it blend-in a hair and not seem so obnoxious. They purify the air. They're nice in Winter. My mom likes them, and that's reason enough.

 

 

  

 

EQ Avg

I learned something interesting. If you take all the earthquakes that are popping off right now and average them out, it's as if the Earth as a whole is experiencing a Magnitude 2.5 quake about every three days. That's some shit, whether it sounds like it or not. To put it into perspective, back in 2016, when this image is from, Earth went through a 2.5 about once a week. About a decade or so ago it was about one 2.5 a month. Like the numbers on the Richter Scale itself, that's an exponential increase.

 2016 was also the year I started saying in this blog that it was going to happen, along with increased volcanic activity, intensity and frequency of storms, meteor activity and heavy weirdness from space, and I'll be danged if it isn't happening. It's not rocket science (SCIENCE), it's simply looking at trends and developing logical predictions. It's not magic.

Here's a recent EQ chart. It may be hard to tell at first but this shows WAY more activity. Those things to the upper-right that look like funky combs or something are actually massive stacks of earthquakes in the same region. That's a massive difference from 2016. 

 You see, nobody can logically call people who do research, and find things out that not many people know about, "Conspiracy Theorists," or at least not with any truth, 'cause here it is in black and white. Color, actually. 

These photos, from the USGS and other sites are via the Dutchsinse channel on YouTube. Dutch is THE guy, on YouTube at least, for the best EQ info on the planet. He goes way beyond just tracking them; he points out the aforementioned trends, and logically and very accurately points out where the next earthquakes will likely be. 

How's about this image, again via Dutch. It's berserk compared to 2016. Back then I was talking about the difference between a large but short-duration quake, and a lower-magnitude but much longer quake. I came up with a good analogy but I've forgotten it. 

 Certainly a big one would flatten everything outright, but a longer one would do even more damage in the long run. It'd be like listening to music and hearing a glitch in the disc or whatever and hearing a loud pop. It would suck and hurt your ears but you'd shake it off and go on listening, hoping there were no more "aftershocks." If it were a low rumble or tone, like the dreaded "60K hum," that went on during the whole song, it wouldn't hurt your ears as much, but you couldn't listen to it for very long. You'd probably get a headache, and likely irritable too. It's science (SCIENCE). 

 Averaging out the number and intensity of quakes isn't just for figurin' purposes, it's a real deal. Obviously some places are rumbling and some aren't but the overall effects on the planet as a whole are just the same as if the Earth were actually having a 2.5 every three days. That's a whole lotta skakin' goin' on right there. Just tonight my main info-guy said that pretty soon, most likely within the next year, if and when the numbers go up, the effects will start to be felt worldwide. It makes perfect sense if you go by what's happened in the last decade or two, and that's a large-enough sample to make logical "predictions."

 Know what else he said? He said that if the average person could see what was happening on the ocean floor all over the planet, they'd immediately get down on their knees and ask God into their life.  That's heavy. From what I've learned I'm sorry to say I believe it. Here's a kicker- if you want to again dismiss this as bullshit, then maybe you should know that for the first time since they've been measuring (LOTS of those "first time" situations coming up lately), nickel is coming out of cracks in the mantle under the ocean. No, you won't hear this on MSLSD or anywhere else, and if you Google it you'd be very lucky to hear anything but people just crying "Bullshit." 

 What it means is that theoretically, and unless there's another source of molten nickel that they don't know about, the Earth's core is leaking. That's some REAL shit right there. Satellite measurements show that Earth is warping. It's also wobbling, and tilted at roughly four degrees from normal. You won't hear that on the news either. It might cause concern in people who still give a shit about things, and panic in people who...well, tend to panic. That's the absolute WORST thing you could ever do in a bad situation. 

 If nickel is making it to the ocean floor all the way from the core, that I hate to say but that's a rift that'd be hard to imagine, except I do imagine that seeing it could possibly be reason enough to get down on your knees and repent. My guy says that it won't be the "Big One" we have to worry about, at least at first, but all these smaller quakes adding up and vibrating the entire planet at once. He also says that pretty soon it won't matter what we may or may not believe, or what we think will or won't ever happen, we'll ALL see it, and won't be able to deny it or explain it by any other means than spiritual knowledge, as crazy as that may sound. 

 I've said a million times, to those who cry "Fear Monger!" I'll say that knowledge eases fear. It's simple. Dig this: if, God forbid, the Earth were to start noticeably rumbling all day long., that'd trip us out wouldn't it? Hell yeah it would, but who'd be "Lookin' 'fickle'" as Sam used to say about somebody freaking-out in a tough situation...someone who knows nothing about what's going on and is scared shitless, or someone who's studied it and at least has a heads-up? That's a rhetorical question. 

 The Earth is rockin' & rollin' (the above images show it) and the party's just starting. Some people, myself included obviously, think that all this shit going on...everything...is a distraction from what's coming. Having said that, there's a reason some people don't fear this possible scenario, and it should be obvious by now. It's not like we walk around blissed-out and oblivious, 'cause Jeezus is gonna come down out of the Cumulus and Rapture our asses on Up Yonder...on the contrary we're pretty aware of shit. The bullshit anyway. 

 I'm guessing that a 2.5 quake is just below the threshold of what most of us can feel. I haven't felt anything, and the New Madrid popped-off with some minor tremors not long ago. They say that if the Big One were to happen on the New Madrid it'd cause WAY more damage to the country that the San Andreas. At this point it interests me a lot more than frightens me. If I never got scared I'd really be crazy, not just slow, mildly-retarted (is it "hate speech" if you say it about yourself?), mentally-unbalanced and stupid, like I am already. 

 Maybe we're delusional, and we've deluded ourselves into believing that God actually has our backs, certainly in the end, and that these things "must come to pass." I don't want this stuff to happen, but it doesn't make a damn what I want, or anyone else wants. The things my guys (and gals) said would happen has happened and is happening right now, and they've been talking about these events for years, sometimes as far back at the 50s. Interestingly, similar events have been recorded in ancient history, including those supposedly caused by an event that reoccurs about every 360 centuries. That too's some shit.

 Oh, and the Moon's askew too as is every other planet in the Solar System, which is about all most astronomers will say these days, at risk of losing more than just their jobs. There's a general gag-order on ALL people in the information-giving business BIG-TIME. The "Moon Wobble" is something that they finally had to acknowledge, because too many "backyard-astronomers" with telescopes were seeing and photographing it, and a picture is worth a thousand words. They haven't come clean on the Earth-wobble yet but they'll have too, and a LOT of other stuff, because we already know it's happening because we can SEE it and MEASURE it. They'll find a way to blame the Earth being tilted by 4-degrees on soccer moms driving SUVs, as if such a thing could happen. You watch. People will believe it too. 

 Speaking of Astronomers losing their jobs and more, ancient Chinese Astronomers would lose their heads, literally, if they made a single mistake in what they recorded, and they talked about this event. Allegedly it also caused massive earthquakes, and lots of other shit too. Same thing is mentioned in the Good Book too. It's also mentioned in most other ancient texts, as is the "Great Flood," BTW. In any case what's known beyond debate is that while soccer moms and shit account for maybe 1% of "Climate Change," it's really due to increased solar radiation hitting Earth. 

 This energy, in the form of photons, passes through us and everything else and ends up at Earth's core, where it becomes heat (energy is conserved), and heats the planet from within. It's what drives normal volcanic activity, and even weather, our mood, and many other things, but as far as volcanoes and earthquakes go, increased energy means increased heat. Right now the Earth is heating up both on and below the surface. Soccer moms...take them kids to practice. It's not your fault. 

 There's thousands of videos of people experiencing quakes and random ground movements where there are no quakes- everything from people laughing and filming and walking around on ground that's undulating wildly as if it were floating on an ocean, which actually it is, and they're swaying around like they're in one of those inflatable Moonwalk things that you can rent for parties, to a poor woman in Japan who got caught in an earthquake.

 She was in the street trying to run away from the buildings, but everywhere she'd turn another crack would open up right in front of her. She'd turn around to go the other way and another crack would open up right in front of her. It looked like something you'd see in a cartoon, only it was real. That's one of anybody's worst nightmares. I don't know how much I'd be laughing about the ground under my feet shaking, but I guess it's better than crying about it. Sometimes you gotta take a break and just laugh about it all. Best medicine. 

 There's also the sinkholes. They've increased...yep, exponentially. I remember the first one that made national headlines. I can't remember exactly when it was but it was 5 or 6 years ago at least. It was in Kentucky I think, but a rare-car dealership fell into a sinkhole overnight. Lots of people remember it, and some people cried, because they showed formerly immaculate, irreplaceable and extremely rare cars lying at the bottom of a gaping hole, all scattered, smothered and chunked. I was a car guy and still love the classics, and I understood the grief. But I was more interested in the sinkhole itself. I'd been expecting it. Maybe not underneath priceless cars, but expecting it.

These days if you search sinkholes you'll see homes and cul-de-sacs fall into gigantic holes that are so deep that you really wouldn't want to fall into one. It almost gives you vertigo just looking at a photo and seeing how deep they are. Massive cracks are opening up that go for miles, and they aren't connected per se to known fault lines. My guy says not to be surprised if we see city blocks disappear down into the ground. Now wouldn't that be some shit?

 So if the Earth should start quakin' and our hearts are breakin' and our feet are achin' and the Sun is bakin' and our thirst ain't slakin' and our boots are shakin' and the leaves ain't rakin' and the baby's wakin' and the fakers are still fakin' and the took are taken, there's two names you can call upon. Choose wisely my friend. 

 

 

Nickel-and-Diming

I really not sure...did Dr. Gates donate Microsoft to charity or something, once he became an MD? Did the former Mrs. G get half when "she" left Dodge? Maybe it wouldn't be considered a conflict-of-interest, but I'm stumped. Oh, and he's a farmer too...in fact the largest "private" landowner in the US at this time. Look it up. He wears a lot of hats, and money buys the biggest. He's got a fuckload of money, the most farmland in Amerika and even a medical degree apparently, while bypassing med school and residency and such. Dang.

 Anyway Micropenis, whatever entity owns it, is just another example of how the elites are trying to squeeze every Fiat penny out of us before the entire system changes over (to the Beast System) and it goes WAY beyond digital, and eventually WE become the currency, and everyone's been 'chipped. And vakksed, whacked, stacked and packed. Sounds crazy, right? I get it. It does to me too. 

 So I took a vid today and I was pleased to find that I could crop it on my phone. That's great, but it wouldn't open after it loaded. Apple and Micropenis don't always play nice together anyway, but this was different. For some reason I can't see, except to make a buck, the cropped version was in a different format, and Microdick wanted me to download XFuck1 software or whatever it was to be able to return the cropped video to its original format, so I could open it. Fair enough I guess, but they wanted 99 cents. You can make any excuse you want for those fucks, and say it has to be in this or that format...bullshit. It should be the same as a normal enlargement. It's just another trick...another brick in the wall. 

 It's not much, and after I reentered all my info down to my shoe size (10.5) for ten minutes, which I'd assumed Google would pull up, I paid the damn dollar, and got my video. I certainly don't mind paying for things, and I'll spend a bit more for quality, but you already paid for the shit when you bought the computer. It's not the damn money...it's just petty. No telling how many people paid that buck, just to crop a fucking vid. It adds up and I get Capitalism, but it's a joke. It also plays into the lie that there's really any competition, like "Apple vs. Micropenis." The 1% don't give a fuck which you buy...as long as the money goes to them. In the end they're all playing for the same damned team...the bad guys. 

 
 

Meme of the Day

There you have it. Wake up.
 

I Celebrate the Broccoli Emoji

Some things hit my funny bone and I don't know why, unless you count the fact that I'm a butter knife short of a place-setting. A broccoli emoji popped up on my phone when I accidentally hit the emoji button as I was sending a text to my friend Beck. I know there's an emoji for everything, and some people can hold an intelligent convo with only emojis, but still it struck me as funny. I just left the brocemoji in. She's one of the two people I know who aren't kids but are fluent in emoji. She gave me shit for years because I refused to use a single emoji, so why not send her a random broccoli emoji. She was like "WTF's with the broccoli?" Score. Anyway the broccoli emoji is cool. Salut.

 
 

Dumping Your Friends Who aren't Spiked?

I keep trying to tell people, the ones who aren't awake that is, that ALL this shit is BY DESIGN, but even though I've been looking unto this shit for over 15 years now, and they probably haven't looked into it for 15 seconds, they'll still tell me I'm full of shit, because they don't believe it. They TELL us we're supposed to hate cops, and people of a different skin color, and we buy into the bullshit. 

 Well guess what they're telling us now? They say that we should dump our un-vexed friends. For people who try to abide by the famous cry of "My body my choice," which defends abrotion, but doesn't apply to people who choose not to put an EXPERIMENTAL DRUG into their veins, it's just too bad. Funny how they get to pick and choose. "Rules for thee, but not for me."

 They really are pulling out all the stops to get us all to take this experimental drug, aren't they? First they used fear, which they'll always use, and for most people that did the trick in about five seconds. But some of us don't live in fear, and we don't buy it, not to mention we've done our homework on some of the shit they put in these drugs. It's been16 years now for me researching the Federal Demonic Association alone. If you want to tell me I haven't learned anything in that time? Come on. 

 Next they tried bribery. Lotteries, free money, burgers and God knows what all else, to get us all to take it. Next it was threats...no travel, no social life, no getting into a supermarket, etc. without it. More threats, knocking on doors. Next it was shame. The word on the street now is that unvexed people are the ONLY way to spread it now, that WE'RE responsible for future lockdowns and mask mandates, which is pure BULLSHIT, and anyone with half a brain left could see that. Even OUR PRESIDENT came out and basically called us, US citizens, "killers." I don't think that's ever happened in history. You know what's truly shameful? Our president calling our citizens "killers." 

 Now they're telling us that we should dump our friends who haven't been stuck. That's the Devil talking man, whether people can see it or not? Dump your friends because they don't get a vex? If this disease had a 50% death rate, or even 10% then it'd be a different story, but for a death rate of less than 3%, which even at that small number has been GREATLY inflated (see: comorbidity). Have you ever dumped a friend because they didn't get a Flu shot? I doubt it, but I guarantee there's a good chance you'll buy into the bullshit and go along with the lie, and lose your friends if they don't get it. 

 Speaking of friends, they got good ol' Jennifer Anniston to do a deal on Twitter or wherever where she talks about how she's had to give up some "very good friends" because they didn't get poked. NEWSFLASH: narcissists don't have real friends anyway, so what the fuck does she care? Just trot out another Satan-worshipping "star" because we worship them, instead of TRUE heroes, and all the kids will be dumping their friends right and left. Poor kids, and I MEAN it. Between this shit and the "gender-fluid" bullshit, and now everyone else is DIRTY and a potential source of DEADLY GERMS, and don't get closer that SIX FEET AWAY or you'll DIE, it'll be a miracle if the human race continues much past the next few generations. Think about it. 

 If you buy this bullshit and lose friends over the fact that they choose not to put an EXPERIMENTAL DRUG into their body, which for all we know could have MASSIVE side-effects down the road, then you didn't deserve those friends to begin with, and you live in fear, whether you'll admit it or not. You say you're being smart? You're being afraid. If you're cool with losing good friends over this, then you're an asshole. 

 
 

33B from the V for the P

How do you like my crude little drawing of the dollar signs on the cute little bugs we're all now familiar with? That's what the deal is folks. DId you know that Pafizer's projected earnings from vagzeen sales alone for 2021 is $33.5 billion dollars? Oh, but it's not about the money, right? They don't care about money. They just love us so much that they want us to be WELL, so we can quit buying their medicines, right? Of course. Wake up. 
 

Reply of the Day (and a GREAT Music Channel)

Not long ago I found what's now my favorite music channel on YouTube- the franknzappa channel. I'm actually one of his heroes because I told him I met Frank back in '75. If you love live music and esoteric, "proggy" albums, head on over and check him out. He plays the good shit...everything from Nektar to Camel to Yes to ELP, and of course lots of Zappa. As a bonus, the guy is hilarious, as are some of his viewers.

The other day he played a live ELP show. He goes live so people can comment. People were talking about ELP shows they'd seen in the past, and I said "I'm still recovering from seeing the Brain Salad Surgery show," and some guy quipped "You need surgery." "Lol I do" I said. That was funny. Later I said "Keith [Emerson] had the best left hand in the business," to which the host immediately replied "Apparently you never met my ex." That's a good one. If you like kickass music that's lightyears different from the usual shit on YouTube, stop by his channel, give him a sub and show some love. Listen to some good music too.

 franknzappa channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMN7ehqNpqR5AEh6KrUwbCg
 

Three More Coincidences

I guess there's actually four "coincidences" here, but the other one ties in. I've mentioned this before, although I can't remember if I posted it. Not long after we moved into this apt complex, I'd be walking my dog at night, and all of the sudden it was like a dark mist just descended on the place. 

 I know that most people don't know what it's like to have trained your brain since you were very young, to be much more aware of things, and way more sensitive to vibrations, or "vibes" as it were...frequencies actually, which make-up everything in the Universe, but I have, and whatever people think about it doesn't bother me. I'm not bragging.

 We'd be walking merrily along and it would just hit out of nowhere. It's hard to describe except to say that it felt like pure evil. After it happened a couple more times I called my friend Jerry, who lived here about three years but sadly had to move, and he left the same month we moved in. We live in the very back corner of the place, thank God, but Jerry lived right up front where the action is- the main pool, weight room and Jacuzzi. 

 He's a super-nice guy and a social butterfly, and he really got to know much more about what goes on in this massive complex than I have. I told him what I'd experienced and asked him if I was just tripping, and he said definitely not. He said that there are a number of Wiccans, witches and Satanists even who live here, and sometimes he could feel it too. But there's really nothing to all that stuff. We're just imagining things, right? 

 Try telling that to my dog. Every time it's happened, at the exact same time I feel it, my dog goes perfectly still, and just stares ahead. I know it's not because of another dog or a human. In those situations he'll growl or bark, and he won't sit still. The only other times he's ever done that was when there was a prowler out back, the two times we saw a deer up-close and the night we saw a Bobcat. Yes, we saw a Bobcat. It'd climbed up in a thick Fir-type tree, and when I parted the branches to see what was making a weird, "Alien whining" sound I heard, he was three feet away and at eye-level. That was quite a surprise. 

 It's not just my dog reading me, which he can do like a book, and sensing fear. I don't fear evil at all. I know the holy name of its master, and believe me I'll invoke it if necessary. I'll try my best to get him to keep walking but he won't take another step, and in fact he always wants to go back inside ASAP. He practically runs back with his tail down. That's not like him at all. It's really very weird because normally he's totally fearless, and even a couple of the neighbors have commented on it. Even after we saw the Bobcat he still wanted to walk. He LIVES to walk. I'm #3 on the list behind food and "w-a-l-k-s" (I have to spell it around him if we're not going for one right away), which is still a huge honor, and seeing him NOT want to walk is unsettling. 

 He's sensing something, and he wants no part of it. I actually want to keep walking to see if the feeling changes, or if I just might see what's responsible, but I defer to his judgement. You can learn a lot from your dog. With that said, I've talked to quite a few dog-owners here, and lots of them have said their dogs are way more "edgy" here than anywhere they've ever lived. I mentioned my new friend's dog, who's so spooked here that she won't even go outside at all, even to pee. Bless their hearts for still keeping the dog. I said that I had a few things that would at least calm her down a peg.

 The night after I met her I prayed for three things. I prayed that her husband was a good dude and treated her like she should be treated, that he'd be cool with her talking to a white dude, and that God would ease some of the dog's fear, and to help me to help it. I believe that ALL fear comes from the Devil. The next morning she called me all excitedly and said that her dog had gone out that morning for the first time in the two years they've lived here. We were both cheering, and I told her I'd prayed about it the night before, and I thought she was going to cry. She believes in God big-time, and that did nothing to dissuade her. I guess that's just another coincidence, huh? Must be. God doesn't answer prayers, does He? BTW it wasn't MY doing. It was GOD'S doing, IMHO.

 I didn't know anything about her husband before today except that he'd gotten hold of a keeper. She came over today to get the dog stuff and she brought him along. He's white. Not only that but we'd met and spoken a few times. He's a good guy and it was obvious they're very much in love. I was quite pleased. They came in to meet my mom, and while the girls were talking I said to him "Dude, you got a good one there." "I know" he said. Later I said to her "He's pretty white." "Lol" she replied. She told him about her dog (who doesn't like anyone but her) loving on me, so I reckon he knows I'm okay. I briefly ran my idea about a "cooking" channel on YouTube by her, and I'll jump for joy if she agrees to do it. I think she'd do it just to try to counteract some of this racial bullshit going on. It'd be a blast. Know what? God is good, that's what. THIS HAS BEEN A COINCIDENCE. Have a nice day.
 

The Funniest Thing I've Seen in a While

This cracked me up so hard I saved it to faves, and I'm even going to film it with my phone so I'll have a safety copy. So this fine sister was eating at a Teppanyaki place. It looks like they were either closing or hadn't opened yet, but in any case she had his full attention. I have to say that if I'd known how easy it is to hit on women by using the ol' "sock puppet" trick, I might have seriously wanted to be a Teppanyaki chef. 

 He thought she looked a little sad, so he went into his deal. He picked up a piece of fish I guess with his fork and spatula and made it move along to what he was saying. Brilliant. The conversation went something like this:

Fish: "Hey baby!"

Girl: "Hello."

Fish: "Are you single?"

Girl: "Yes."

Fish: "Awwwww...when you broke up?"

Girl: "A couple of days ago."

Fish: "Awwwww. Knock-knock..."

Girl: "Who's there?

Fish: "Not your boyfriend!"

He then burst into maniacal laughter, as did I, as she flipped him off. Too fucking much. Love this shit. Here's the vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gic6tBBfy-I

The Biggest Compliment I Ever Got on My Bloggage (rewritten)

By far the biggest compliment I ever got on my blogging was from my friend Caroline. She called me one day and said she was reading one of my posts ("God Strikes Mugger Dead"), and she laughed so hard she wet her pants. She had to go shower and change, and then finished reading the post. She started laughing even more, and wet herself all over again. That's my kind of compliment. Thanks, sister!
 

Great Lines from Great Songs

Like Devo, Boingo, the Beatles, Todd and many other bands, but especially Devo and Zappa, you could pretty much pick any lyric and it's going to be a winner. Like my friend Champ, I often wonder what Frank would have to say about the mess we're in, but basically we don't have to wonder...he was talking about, and warning us about things to come, aka the present, all the way back in the 80s, and beyond. I mean he was specific.

 It's uncanny to the point of being a little spooky really. Check out the last verse. Some people see that as pure prophecy, and absolutely dead-on. Nobody was talking about those things in the carefree and coked-out 80s. For his opinions alone, like so many "stars" in the entertainment world, he was on every list there was, but they knew that Frank was a force of Nature and a force to be reckoned with, and they knew they couldn't shut him down, so instead they just fueled the notion that since his lyrics sometimes are vile and juvenile, it must mean he was on drugs (he never was), and people still think that to this day (therefore everything he says must be crazy), but as he once famously said "If I were on drugs, I could never write this kind of music, much less play it." Point Frank. 15-Love. Ouch, a zinger. 

 This song, wonderfully-titled "Flakes," was just a commentary on the current state of things, back then of course. If he were alive today though, he'd definitely have to update it. In case you haven't noticed, the price of things has gone way up while the quality has gone way down. Why just yesterday my Secret Santa sent a package for me, my mom and my dog. She's a jewel, and not because of what she does for us. She paid an absolutely ungodly amount of money to Fredex to send it overnight, and it was guaranteed to be here by noon yesterday, and why can't I just do a simple post, and stick to the subject? Must be my disease. I have Digressivitis.

 I waited until 8:00 and no package, no notification, no nothing. I had to basically wait by the door all day because I had to sign for it. I was pissed because I actually had plans. She called and they said it was running late, but that was bullshit. It hadn't even made it onto the truck, which was verified by another person. They changed it and said it'd be here by 3:00 or she'd get a partial refund. I was hoping it wouldn't arrive until after 3 so she'd get some money back, but it never arrived at all, nor did it today, and I waited all day, again. She called and pitched a bitch and got a full refund, but I think she deserves even more than that. 

 Anyway...Frank's lyrics were excellent, and humor was always a priority. People call them "novelty songs," but not many novelty songs get covered by symphony orchestras all over the world. I have to say again that I had the pleasure of meeting Frank and his band, when they were still technically called The Mothers of Invention, after a soundcheck in Atlanta back in '75. As luck would have it Frank was really the only "Rock Star" I ever cared anything about meeting. Twenty years later I'd have the pleasure of meeting his long-time percussionist, the wise, uproariously-funny and the one-and-only Ed Mann.

 Interestingly I ran into Ed in a YouTube chat about two years ago. Running into him in a chat was crazy enough, but the particular kind of subject matter covered made it something I'd have never dreamed. I'll just say that Ed is "awake," thank God, and he's a "believer," I'll say. That was crazy. He remembered me from all those years ago as "Film Canister Guy." I was thrilled and he's got a great memory, but most drummers do. 

 Frank was basically putting his experiences with everyone from auto mechanics to plumbers to you-name-it, to music. As a nice bonus there's a breakdown where they imitate Bob Dylan, and it's too much. The voice is exaggerated but definitely Bob, and in between the lines of his spoken-word verses somebody does little one-note harmonica licks and it's hilarious. I'm leaving out some lines here because I can't type more than ten words a minute, and I'm quoting from memory, but I'll link the song, and you can search the lyrics if you want...as if, lol.

Flakes 

They don't do no good

They never be workin' when they oughtta should

They waste your time, they wastin' mine

California's got the most of them

Boy they got a host o' them

Swear to God they got the most (yeah)

And every business on the coast

They got the flakes (flakes, flakes)

They can't fix your brakes

You ask 'em "Where's my motor?"

Well, it was eaten by snakes

You can stab and shoot and spit

But they won't be fixin' it

They're lyin' and lazy

They can be drivin' you crazy

Swear to God they got the most...(etc.)

I'm a moron, and this is my wife

She's frosting a cake with a paper knife

All what we got here is American-made

It's a little bit cheesy but it's nicely displayed

Well we don't get excited when it crumbles and breaks

We just get on the phone and call up some flakes

They rush on over and wreck it some more

And we are so dumb they're lining up at our door

Well the toilet went crazy yesterday afternoon

The plumber he said "Never flush a tampoon"

This great information cost me half a week's pay

And the toilet blew up later on the next day, yay, yay

(Ooooo-wooo-oooo blew up the next day)

We're millions and millions and we're comin' to getcha

We're protected by unions, so don't let it upset ya

Can't escape the conclusion, it's probably God's will

That civilization will grind to a standstill

And we are the people who will make it all happen

While your children is sleepin'

Your puppy is crappin'

You might call us flakes, or something else you might coin us

We know you're so greedy that you'll probably join us

We're coming to get you

We're coming to get you

We're coming to get you...

Magnificent. Check Frank out. All the cool people do. No shit. This is worth your time, I promise.

Flakes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8Izxkm-e7s