Goodbye Old Friend

Is it possible to love an inanimate object without having objectophilia? Of course. I dearly loved my VW Squareback but I didn't want to marry it or stick my geeber in the tailpipe, although people like that exist. 

 I don't know how long I've had this potato peeler but it's probably around a decade. I love ceramic knives and other objects of sharpness, so I got this one. Alton Brown trashed this particular model on an episode of Good Eats. He said it wasn't very durable but that wasn't my experience at all. This baby was smooth and efficient and quite durable.

 In fact I wish I had a dollar for every potato, carrot and whatever else I peeled with it. Sadly it wasn't Beagle-proof. My dog loves potatoes as much as I do. One night I was peeling potatoes and he got hold of it. As soon as he smelled tater he started chewing it, and before I could rescue it it was history. 

 Of course most people would just unceremoniously toss it in the trash, but I wanted to reflect for a moment on all the good times we've had. We've been through thousands of potatoes together. Oh, the hash browns. Oh, the mashed potatoes. Oh, the gravy! Good times. Maybe I should tell Alton Brown.

 Goodbye old friend. Even though I've gotten another just like you you could never truly be replaced. Thanks for faithfully peeling all those potatoes. Thanks for the memories. My dog thanks you too. Rest in peace.