Happy Trails to You #9: The Smoking Six-Shooter?

Now that you-know-what-trails have been declassified, shouldn't that make "Conspiracy Theorists" seem just a tad less conspiratorial? It should, and more than that we've been lied to all this time. You cool with that? Yes, they're a thing, and they have been for a long time. 

 Maybe 15 years ago people were saying that someone had gone back decades and inserted jet trails in old movies and TV shows, to make people think that they've been here all along.

 It sounded crazy and unlikely and labor-intensive and all, but I wouldn't put anything past these people so I couldn't just rule it out, even though most people laughed at the idea. I get that it sounds crazy, but this is Clown World. 

 The other night my mom was watching an old Gunsmoke episode I believe. Something caught my eye and I was extremely surprised to look up and see trails behind good ol' Chuck Connors. No, it wasn't the Rifleman. We don't have a DVD on the cable box so I had to grab my phone and snap a photo. On the screen they went across the whole sky, but you can tell what they are from this image. Is this the smokin' gun?

 Before you crack up, consider this...if they were shooting a show that took place in the 1800s, do you think they'd have left those in the original shot, and have jet planes flying above a horse and buggy? I seriously doubt it. If they were even there to begin with, do you think maybe they'd have waited for the sky to clear and reshot the scene, or let people know that it's a bogus TV show that was filmed in the 1960s with jet planes and not even care? You wouldn't think they'd have left them in the original shot, right? Either way they're busted. You can't ignore it. It's incredible. We're being bullshitted. Wake up. 
 

Sovereign Citizens?

Although it was started in 1970, which I didn't know, the Sovereign Citizen Movement seems to be getting a lot of attention lately. The name and the idea sound fine to me, but I haven't really looked into it that much. All I know about it is from what I've seen in videos recently, and so far I'm not "all in." 

 Instead of putting others down to feel better about myself, I sometimes watch really stupid people doing really stupid things, and Boom, I feel better. I see people, some drunk, getting pulled over and then making things a million times worse by acting like fools. Lately I've seen a lot of people try to pull the "sovereign citizen" thing. Guess how many times it's actually worked. 

 From what I see so far, "sovereign citizens" are numbnuts. They're arrogant assholes right out of the box...telling cops how to do their jobs and acting like they've done nothing wrong. And even if you're an attorney it doesn't do much good to try to argue legal issues with a cop. I guess it's sort of like people who think they can alter things by how they "identify." I guess these days we can all be anydamnthing we want just by declaring it. 

 Wiki lumped "Conspiracy Theorists" into the mix of their definition. Since I am one myself I'll have to look into it more, but I can say that I wouldn't go showing my ass to a cop and basically dare them to arrest me. Some of them will refuse to identify themselves and immediately cop an attitude, and then they'll refuse a lawful order to step out of the car. 

 They end up getting dragged from their cars, sometimes tased, cuffed and put into the back of a cruiser, adding multiple charges, all the while spouting bullshit about how the cops have no right to do their jobs and how their rights as "sovereign citizens" are being violated and how the cops don't know the "law" and blah-blah. Some of them aren't even drunk. The problem is that they're already in handcuffs and on their way to jail. So much for sovereignty. 

 I'm not excusing all cops for certain behaviors by any means, but in general they're following procedure that they're supposed to follow by law. Someone who's disrespectful and belligerent from the get-go isn't doing themselves any favors, and refusal to identify themselves can mean that there's something to hide.

 They usually escalate until they're in way more trouble than they needed to be, and if they do happen to have something to hide, their actions can be probable cause and they generally get busted. Like it or not we have to obey rules, and trying to pull rank on a cop usually doesn't go so well for the perp.

 I'll look into it more, since it is an interesting notion, and Wiki says that the SCM contains fellow "Conspiracy Theorists," although none of the ones I know would disrespect the police and act like morons. For one thing it's wrong, but they also have better things to spend thousands of dollars on, like food and rent and stuff, rather than on fines and court costs. Yeah, it sounds good by definition, but at this point I don't choose to "identify" with the SCM. Sounds like a bunch of dumbasses to me. 

The New Biology

I've been wanting to leaf through a Biology book that's come out within the last couple of years. I wonder if they've been updated to include all this new information about gender, like how there are now dozens of variations, rather than the two we always thought there were, and how people can change, swap, blur, ignore, deny or otherwise manipulate their gender, depending on how they "identify" on any given day. Since the Laws of Physiology have been completely rewritten, I imagine the Biology books have too by now. I'm sure the parents have had to adjust too. 

This is an example of the "New Biology." This is a totally random person, one of many, relating an experience at the doctor, where they were "misgendered." This person at least wasn't unpleasant, uber-angry and completely off the rails like so many of them are. Some of them are fighting with their doctors over their perceived biological changes, without any procedures done, and sometimes it puts them at odds with proper care and such.

 You might think that they'd temporarily default back to the "old" biology when seeing a medical professional, but many refuse. It can out the doctors in a tough spot, the patients too, and it's understandable. It's one thing to be mis-pronouned, but to insist that your body is somehow different from what it is is a whole 'nother thing.

 In this person's case it was a "misgendering." With all due respect, and whenever I say that I really do mean it, based on patterns that have developed since the dawn of humans, I'd think this person is female...which, umm...actually she(?) is...except that this person doesn't "identify" as a female today, so...wtf...kneejerk, "she" and "her" would be the pronouns I'd use. I apologize.

 This person appears feminine, but somehow they aren't...at least for today...you say potato...let's call the whole thing off. Oh wait...we can't. The doctor made the same "mistake," and called this person by a female term, instead of their preferred pronouns of the day- "he" and "him." Oops, silly doctor. 

 In this case the doctor apologized and adjusted her pronouns, but it really traumatized this person, and that's just weird. If I accidentally called someone a term they didn't like, including gender-related terms, I'd call them by whatever they wished, no problem. How they get violently upset when it happens is beyond me, except to think that it might be a mental thing, although as always, I am not a doctor. 

 Take me for example. I have a name that's usually given to females, at least those born as such, and I've been "mis-gendered" all my life. Without getting into all the gender-variable here, people who still think in terms of there being only two genders, see or hear my name and think I'm a female. It's never bothered me a bit, and sometimes it's been hilarious. 

 Heck, people even used to tease me about it, and not like making a simple "mistake." There was no ill will from the good doc, although you'd have thought so from their reaction. If someone made a joke about me having a girl's name, I'd just laugh and make some girly comment. We'd get a laugh and I didn't go berserk and attack anyone. If some asshole calls someone a name...any name, that's one thing and it's wrong, but how can these people lose their minds over a mistake? 

 I've told this before, but one night I was in a livestream on YouTube. There were over 100 people in the chat, and I knew a couple-dozen of them. It was a Saturday night and several people had been drinking. I made a couple of comments that were funny I guess, but this one wasted guy thought I was a woman, and he started hitting on me. I played along for a few minutes, and it was fun because my friends in the chat knew that I'm a guy. Finally he asked if I'd marry him, and I said "I'm not that kind of guy." There was an instant string of LOLs in the chat. That was a lot of fun, and not some tragedy. 

Of course there weren't any real gender issues besides me having a girl's name, but maybe these people should relax a bit, realize that people make mistakes, and not freak out quite so much. They'd be much better off health-wise, no matter the gender. And speaking of gender, I really do want to read a recent edition of a Biology book. This new information is revolutionary. Surely it's in there by now. And stop calling me Shirley!

Quote of the Day

"One thing I saw this week was a bunch of Country music fans who can see through a lot of the bullshit." - Jason Aldean
 

Would They Get Mad at Google?

It's sad but true that we really do live in a shoot-the-messenger world, even among people you considered your closest friends. My friendship with two people I've been friends with forever was seriously damaged simply by me answering their questions, which happened to be the same. Granted it may not have been the answer they wanted to hear, but they brought it up. 

 There was a third person who asked the same question. She didn't know what the deal was, but she knew enough about the scene in general to not doubt it, and she certainly didn't get angry with me about it. She said it was a shame, and directed her anger at the system behind it, where it should be directed, not at me for answering her question. She was thinking with logic and not emotion. 

 They all asked about some lyrics in an artist's songs, and I told them what they were talking about. I said that a certain person at the center of what they were into was a truly evil person, acknowledged in their own words. Again, I only said it because they kept asking questions. I didn't say one thing different that they'd find for themselves on Google for maybe a minute longer than it took to ask me. Would they have gotten mad at Google? I doubt it. 

 Had I known how angry they'd get with me for answering a question exactly the same as Google would have, I'd have told them to Google it for themselves, but I never thought they'd be so upset with me about something I didn't do. I saw their eyes. They weren't angry with the person, or more importantly the people behind what they were into...they were angry with me. I knew immediately I should have told them to look it up. From their reaction it was obvious that it wasn't a good thing, but damn...I didn't do it. I'm not into that stuff.

 I didn't say that the artist was a bad person. I did say that what the artist was into was bad, and very bad, but again it's nothing that isn't public knowledge. I made it very clear that I still loved them and their music, even if I didn't love what they were into. I've always tried to separate an artist's music from their politics and all that bullshit, and they know that. They both got angry, hurt and dejected looks on their faces, and our friendships changed from that moment on. No more song questions. Next time, get mad at Google. 

 

EXTRA, EXTRA: HALLOWEEN CANCELLED!

Did you hear the news? Halloween has been cancelled. Why? Because they decided that there's no reason to have just one day when people dress like ghouls. Now it's Halloween every fucking day of the year. Twick or tweat!
 

Facing Your Fears (rewritten)

I told this story back when it happened, 7 or 8 years ago. A lot of things have happened since then, and people in general are way more fearful these days, so maybe someone needs to hear this. I find that if you put some information out there, no matter what it is, someone is looking for it. 

 For about four years I lived in a place that was right on the Cahaba River, and I used to go down there nearly every day. It was as relaxing as a "don't care" shot from the doctor. Even though I'd often stay until past dark or get there before daybreak, I wouldn't go alone into the woods in the middle of the night, and hadn't since I was 21. 

 I've also told that story before but it's easily the most incredible thing that ever happened to me. To recap, playing a gig leaves you with leftover adrenaline with nowhere to go, after you finish playing. It was impossible to get to sleep right away, without either getting bombed, lying awake until it wore off, or choosing a healthier option if you could find one. Often I'd go to the river and walk around until I got tired. It was a bit healthier than heavy drinking. It also recharged my batteries and kept me in touch with Mother Nature.

 One night I went down to the river around 2am, and encountered a large pack of wild dogs who followed me for about half a mile and literally came within inches of making me a late dinner. Since that night I've been to the river hundreds of times at night, but never once alone, until one night when I decided to grow a pair and go to the river in the middle of the night again. I'm not a fraidy-cat at all but I can pretty much guarantee that if you should ever happen to get chased by a pack of wild dogs, you'll think twice before going into the woods alone again.

 More than that it wasn't really safe to go into the woods alone at night, pre-cellphones. You could fall and break a leg or any number of things. Usually when I'd go when I was younger, I'd stay fairly close to the road, but that night I decided to walk down the trail along the river. I'd usually take a J with me but I'd never go alone if I'd had even one beer. That's not very smart. 

 Anyway until 7 or 8 years ago I wouldn't go into the woods alone. For some reason this night I decided to go for it, and I had the feeling that I was going to see something really cool. There were always many cool things to see day or night, but I had a strong feeling that I was going to see something extra-cool. 

 The staging area was a flat foundation they'd built under a transformer. There was a huge metal halide flood that lit the area up, but as soon as you hit the woods it got really dark, until your eyes got used to it. I was going through my pack and making sure I had everything, and something happened that may have saved me some trouble.

 My phone turned itself off and I had to wait for it to reboot. While I was waiting I looked over to my left and saw a big cat just like the one above, maybe 75' away. It was an Alabama Panther or a Florida Panther, which some think are the same species. They look just the same. I was taken aback but not seriously frightened. It was an impressive sight.

 I have to mention here for the doubters that while panthers are rare in this part of the state they do exist, and they use rivers like we use highways. I've seen a couple of them from a distance in the daytime, as well as several Bobcats. One doubter, who either thinks they're so smart that they know more about a situation by not being there than someone who was there, or that my brain is so fried that I can't tell the difference between a 3' cat and a 16" one, told me that what I saw was a housecat. Nope, sorry. 

 It had climbed all the way up the hill from the river, but I figured maybe it was stalking things around the dumpster, if not possibly eating from it. Cats will be cats, regular or jumbo. Even if I hadn't gotten a clear view of the cat I got a look at its glowing eyes, and that sealed the deal. 

 They were as big as nickels. I've seen possum eyes, beaver eyes, deer eyes, raccoon eyes, dog and cat eyes and more, and they're all much smaller, except for deer's eyes. It was solid gray and I couldn't see any markings. It was nearly three feet long plus tail. It weren't no housecat.

 The one I saw was every bit as big as this one, except it looked maybe just a bit thinner. I could see it perfectly in the light. When it saw me looking at it it turned around and went behind a fallen tree. It stared at me for a few seconds and then ducked away. I thought it had gone. I'm no expert on animal behavior but I'd think that in most situations it would run away. The dumpster was partially in the woods and maybe he'd figured it out and lost a little fear of humans, but again I don't know for sure. Either way he was interested in me.

 My phone rebooted and I waited a few seconds for my eyes to adjust from looking at the screen. I looked back in the direction of the cat, and instead of going away it had come back and had closed the distance to me by about a third. It was crouching behind a rock and staring at me.

 My hair stood up and I could swear I heard that screeching violin sound that you hear in scary movies. I didn't expect it to even be there, much less stalking me. Housecats generally don't stalk people. It startled the shit out of me but I wasn't terribly afraid. I was ready to react if I had to, but there's no point in panicking ahead of time, and animals really can smell fear.

 I didn't think he'd get any closer if I stared him down, but I didn't know that for sure. He could've closed the distance in a flash if he'd wanted to. It was weird enough that the cat was stalking me to begin with, so I took stock of things, Justin Case.

 I had a knife, a lighter, a flashlight, a backpack and a nice walking stick that was made from a sapling that a beaver had kindly cut down and trimmed of bark. I stared at the cat and for a few seconds it stared back, but then it retreated back to the same tree, looked at me and then vanished as before. This time I didn't count on him going away. 

 I stood there thinking "Screw it...oh well, now I know why I don't go into the woods by myself at night." I doubt too many people would fault me if I'd gone back to the apartment. which I definitely considered. I wouldn't want to fight a big cat because for one thing I love animals, but I also wouldn't want to lose. The aforementioned housecat can open up a big ol' can of whoopass if it really wants to. I can only imagine what a cat three times as big could do. 

 I stood there pondering. I could go back to the apt without feeling like too much of a wuss. I'd already stared him down twice. I could smoke the J and marvel at the fact that I was just stalked by a panther, or I could face my fear and go on down to the river. I couldn't shake the feeling that there was really something down there that I was meant to see, so I took a deep breath and headed on down the hill. The hairs on my neck stood up the whole way down, until I reached the water and its narcotic effects. 

 About halfway down I stopped to see if my new friend was still around. I shone my flashlight to the left and sure enough, I saw two big glowing eyes staring at me from behind a log. He was still interested but hadn't closed the distance. Luckily that was the last I saw of him. Godspeed, big cat.

 

I found a nice spot where I could sit against a big tree. I took out my water and fired-up the doob. Once I settled-in and started looking around, I found myself in a magical world. I noticed that the ground all around me was lit up with glowing dots, fading slowly in and out. It was like a galaxy on the ground.

 They were Lightning Bug (or Firefly if you prefer) larvae. They flash like the adults, but for a different reason. The adults glow to attract mates, but the larvae glow to warn predators that they're toxic and bad to eat. They glow a dimmer, bluish color, and they glow for several seconds each time, fading in and out. It was beautiful.

 Then I noticed the adults flying by. The Moon was setting by then so it was really dark, and the Lightning Bugs looked ten times brighter than normal. The river was calm and I could see their reflections as they flew by. It was incredible, and I've never felt so at peace and so connected to Nature. I felt like God was showing His love for me, and whether I was right or wrong I knew I was meant to be there. It was a gift.

 Not only did I face my fears, and it was a real source of fear and not just something in my head, but I also saw one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Maybe I was a dumbass, but I felt like a badass. What a reward. I've never been more at peace. If Heaven is real and anything like that, I'm in. God is good.

  

 

 
 

Quote of the Day

"There's no message in Rock music that has anything to do with Satan or the Devil or anything like that." - an unknown concert-goer
 

Rhyme of the Day

I don't know, but I've been told

Green grasshopper got a red asshole
 

Seriously?

Again, I don't see how these people are helping their cause in any way by behaving like this. He/she/it was giving a speech about all the usual stuff...acceptance, equality, pronouns and such, but all I heard was "Blah-blah-blah, I'm a fucking clown." How do they expect anyone to take them seriously, except for others who dress and act like them? Am I missing something? 

 For the millionth time, anyone who'd call this "hate speech" is an absolute moron. This is a very logical question. I don't hate anyone, and certainly not this person. Matter of fact I feel really sorry for them, because I know they're way more messed-up than normal people, and statistics prove it.

 The only things this person could say that I'd ever take seriously would be things like "Nun-clown tryouts will be held in the auditorium at 7," or "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!" Couldn't they at least lose the face paint and the habit long enough to give their speech? It's almost like they're trying to prove how fucked-up they are. This world has lost its collective mind. 
 

The "God Bless You" Test/Finding My People

Maybe it makes me sound like a crazy old fool...which, come to think of it, I am, but for the last several years, if I speak to anyone for more than just a quick hello in passing, I'll end by saying "God bless you!" I really do mean it sincerely, but it's also a test, to see their reaction. 

 As one might guess, most people lie somewhere in the middle. Some people sort of flatline and don't react at all. Some people nod and give a "smile of convenience." Some smile and say "You too." It's not clear what their beliefs are, but as always I support their right to believe whatever they wish. I'm laying my cards on the table, and by the way they react or don't react, they can't help but show their hand too. It's a fun little experiment, but it's serious too.

 Fortunately they're still in the minority, but some people have a negative reaction...everything from the silent treatment to a dismissive grunt to full-blown hatred. A few times it's gotten a little spooky to see how some people react to the name of God. A few people have tried to stare me down as if it's going to get violent. I feel like saying "My bad. Well, 'Hail Satan' then. Have a nice day," but I don't. Those are not my people.

 Then there are those who light up when they hear it. They're obviously glad to hear me say it. They're finding their people too. They'll say "God bless you too!" If they can say the name of God out loud, usually they're okay. Sometimes it leads to further conversation, which is always very enjoyable. These are my people. God bless you!

 

Normal

Yeah, this is normal. 
 

Quote of the Day

"I'm a trans woman and I have a six-gender girlfriend. We're in a lesbian relationship." - this person
 

Gobsmacked

I just saw a video where this sister is complaining because she's single. Are you kidding me? She was looking for some guy to "step up to the plate" and ask her out. A fire-ass babe like this can't get a date? I don't understand. I also saw another video where another sister was complaining that there are very few men who are willing to play the "traditional masculine role" in a relationship. That's sad. 

 Is it because of all these people whining about "toxic masculinity?" I don't hear too many people bitching about "toxic femininity," but woman can be just as "toxic." Are all the "men" in her circle too busy boning each other? I mean, to each their own, but all this bullshit doesn't say much for the preservation of the species. 

 If I were younger I'd step up to the plate with two strikes to get with her. Maybe we're being trolled, but if she's serious, I'm gobsmacked. Speaking of gobsmacked...oh, never mind. I bet her comments section is lit up. It dang sure should be. Good luck, sister.
 

Quote of the Day

"These kids [today] aren't thinking about how the world works. Their world lies within social media." - "Mike"
 

Blow at the White House

So they found some blow in the White House. What, is this supposed to be big news or something? 
 

Forgotten Tunes: "Love Alone" (Utopia Goes Full Barbershop)

I ran across this tune again, and when I realized that I'd forgotten it I almost got mad at myself. I adore this tune, and it's awesome to see Todd and the boys going full barbershop on this one. Like I just said in the post about drummer Willie Wilcox, what I love about Todd is that, as famous as he is, he has no problem just being a member of the band and letting his guys shine, even putting some of their songs on his records. I can't say enough good things about Todd Rundgren.

 But this is bassist Kasim Sulton's song. For a bassist he's not a bad piano player. All those guys are not only blessed with great voices, but their ability to blend those voices is unusually good. The barbershop quartet vocals on this tune just blow me away. I'm so grateful that I was born with such a deep love of music. It's what's defined me to a large degree. Shoutout to God and my folks. Thanks y'all!

 Call me a nostalgic old fool, but I really miss the days when bands sang about love instead of hate and angst and hos and all that bullshit, like so many of them do now. Excuse me...I'm getting misty here...'k, I'm fine. If you want to know the state of things now compared to then...the 70s/80s that is, just compare song lyrics. 

 Want to see what's missing in most of today's world, and what might help fix it? Give this tune a spin. You'll be glad you did. Have a nice day. 

Listen >>> HERE. <<<

 
 

Contacts

I just now was scrolling through my contacts list and I got a chuckle. I haven't looked at it in a while, and in the last couple of months I've been adding all of these nurses that are coming over to help my mom recover from a broken femur. There's all these gals' names in there, and if you didn't know the story you might think I'm a playah, at least for an old guy. Lemme see...there's Anna #1, Anna #2, Brandy, Carol, Debra, Erica, Jackie, Katherine, LA, Leigh, Lindsey, Mary B, Rebecca, Stacy and Tonya. 

 It's pretty funny, even if half of them are random nurses. I realize that for some guys that amount of digits would be chump change, but that's probably about as many numbers as I've had on any list at any point in time. I mean...even in my prime I never could juggle too many more than that at once anyway. I'm kidding. All those sisters on my contacts list...I think it's funny. And...only half are nurses. I ain't deed just yet.

 

THIS IS ASSAULT

This is beyond infuriating...this is evil. It's bad enough that little kids are FORCED to attend drag shows, and the parents have absolutely NO say in the matter, and in fact can have their kids TAKEN AWAY if they try to keep them out of class that day...in other words trying to protect them from this heinous bullshit, but this is on another level, and I mean a much, much lower level. It's in the bowels of indecency. This is hard to look at. 

 I'll say right now that if you call this "hate speech" or "bashing" or anything of the kind, you're a fucking idiot. You are. If you're more about protecting the rights of these monsters than protecting our children, you're also a sick fuck, and maybe a Pedo too and I hope and pray that you don't have any kids. This is straight-up child abuse, and I also hope and pray that this poor innocent child isn't deeply traumatized FOR LIFE, because that's exactly what this shit does to them. Look it up for yourself. THESE ARE OUR CHILDREN! 

 This is the kind of shit that makes my sorry to call myself a member of the human race. These sick monsters are NOT my people. Look at that poor child...does it look like they're enjoying it in any way? That kid doesn't want any part of that shit. Look at those pathetic cowards in the background...looking on as if it's perfectly okay to molest a child. They should be arrested. Shame on them. I thought our school system was supposed to PROTECT our children, not molest them. 

 If you go to a strip club anywhere in the country you're not allowed to touch the dancers, and if you do, see how fast you go to jail. How is it legal for ANY unauthorized person to have physical contact with this child, much less to pin them down and shove their nasty crotch in their face? Think about it...a mere decade ago if they'd tried this they'd immediately be arrested, and two decades ago these people would probably be left twisting in the wind, and that includes this vile creature and the people in the background being complicit. Are we getting more "progressive?" That it? Fuck no...we're getting SICKER. 

 I've got to end this because I feel ill, but this proves what a sick, sick society we live in these days. This is truly evil. THIS IS ASSAULT. Wake the fuck up. 

 
 

Told Ya (Bat Child Redux)

Every time I see former Bud Light spokesperson Dylan Mulvaney I can't help but recall Bat Child. So, what makes someone constantly make weird-ass, exaggerated faces in public? Is it just plain natural exuberance, or is something else going on? I get mugging for the camera and all but this is off the rails. It's how a little kid behaves. 

 I can't help but wonder how this person is helping their cause by always acting like a total lunatic, and all the corporate spokespeople I've ever seen up until now at least behaved somewhat normally, not like a spoiled child. I can't be the only person who, when they saw Dylan's face on a Bud Light can, wondered "Why did they put Bat Child on a Bud Light can?"

In any case the resemblance is uncanny.