Stash (Cache) Cap

[ ]They're coming out with some cool stuff in the tactical/EDC (everyday carry) department. I guess they've had stash caps for a while but this one is fairly new I think. A few years ago a search of "tactical caps" would take you to pages where they had baseball caps filled with lead shot. You could use them to whack the shit out of a perp. I don't know of anyone who's been beaten to death with a baseball cap but stranger things have happened. [ ]The Cache cap by Wazoo Survival is a little kinder and gentler, although you could keep a small knife or some such weapon in it I suppose. It looks like a normal baseball cap but it has several hidden pockets, making it "tactical." There are guys who do videos on these and it's amazing what they can cram into these caps. Some of them pack gear like firestarters, small fishing and sewing kits, mini-multitools, meds, water-purification tabs, foil, duct tape, cordage, wire saws, a compass, whistle, signal mirror and such. Except for food and water it almost becomes a survival hat, and that stuff could actually save your life if you were caught in a snowstorm or ran off the road and got hurt or whatever. Seeing all the stuff they pull out of their caps reminds me of a clown car, where there's a dozen clown in a tiny little whoopty car. Except for looking like the wearer has a mild case of Encephalitis maybe, you can't tell there's anything in it. Seriously it's pretty discrete. [ ]I might pack some of that stuff in there if I were planning a trip to the river or something but sadly I don't get to do that any more. For an EDC deal I'd probably pack some cash (while it'll still works), a small flashlight, small knife or razor blade, maybe a bandana, a mini Bic lighter, a spare key, a rubber band or two, a small screwdriver set or maybe a mini Leatherman, a couple of Bandaids and alcohol swabs (for the times we're in). I'd write my name in that bitch like I was back in summer camp. Well, actually I'd probably just put a card with my contact info in it. Speaking of the past, in the olden days I'd have also put a small pen or pencil and a few sheets of paper, in case I might happen to get some digits from a female-type person. I guess they could still come in handy. Or maybe I'd just pack it with lead shot and use it to beat the shit out of someone if I really had to. Nah, I'm kidding. I'm a lover, not a cap-fighter. But it would be pretty funny to see some guy who'd been pummeled by one talking to a friend about his fucked-up face. "Dude, WTF happened to YOU?" "Some dude beat me up with a baseball cap." "Huh?" [ ]I watched a vid about this hat before I started this post. The guy had a water bag plus water tablets. The bag is plastic and folds flat, and you can even boil water in it. He also had a wire saw, compass, firestarter and tender, 15' of thin paracord, two of those thin, "credit-card" tools, one a fishing kit and one like a multi-tool, a small drill and a whole array of bits, fancy gel bandages, antibiotic ointment, alcohol prep pads, several different meds and such, cash, keys, a few tiny glow-sticks plus a USB cable and adaptors. Oh, and he had an extra mask, which sadly isn't a bad idea these days. I left a comment saying that he could survive in the woods, become a medic, build a hut and run a business, all from his hat. I also mentioned the clown-car thing. He just now replied and said "Best comment ever!" There are three pockets under the bill and a pocket underneath the crown and side pockets around the rim. He had all that shit in there, with room to spare. Wazoo makes a range of gear specifically for the cap, with some items sealed in plastic that forms a curve and is designed to fit in the curved rim pockets. Pretty cool. [ ]My hair has gotten long enough that I'll need to wear a hat soon so I can see. I have a few but nothing as cool as a cache-stash cap. They have a gray one that's cotton but all the other colors, and camo, are rip-stop nylon. I'd choose cotton of course but nylon might be better in certain situations. It's not like I have a busy social calendar but if I was leading a normal life and going places and gigging and whatnot it might be cool to have a cache cap. $30 isn't a bad price but they do add $5 for shipping. You can spend a lot more than that on the custom tools they make for it or you could certianly fill it with your own stuff. There's always times when you could use a flashlight or a knife or a rubber band or some extra cash, or your dumb ass locks yourself out of your crib. You could turn an "Oh, shit" moment into a "Thank God I have my Cache Cap" moment. If there happened to be a damsel-in-distress involved and you saved the day, you'd probably get laid. That wouldn't be a problem at all- the Cache Cap has plenty of rooms for condoms. [ ]I'm sure some people might be tempted to use it as a "party hat." It'd probably hold half a Zeeber in the rim pockets alone. A pinch-hitter and a mini Bic would fit perfectly in the brim pockets. You'd be a sitting duck if you got busted but I'm sure lots of people would overlook it. If you were in a bad part of town where you might get mugged you could leave $20 in your wallet so the bad guys wouldn't get mad and shoot you, and put the rest of your cash and cards, family photos and such in your cap. If they stole your cap though you'd be fucked. I guess that's when you should concealed-carry. [ ]Anyway a Cache Cap wouldn't be bad to have. You could always just wear it as a hat. It's very stylish, not that I care about that, but the cotton one especially looks really nice. A small "Wazoo" logo is embroidered in the same-colored thread just above the brim and to the side, so it's very discreet. I'm not a logo guy and I'd never pay to advertise someone else's shit, but in this case I don't mind and I even like it. It makes me think of "Out the wazoo" and this cap pretty much lives up to that term. You can pack it out the wazoo, and who knew? In these uncertain times it might be a comfort to some people knowing they had a few extra goodies up their sleeve. Or rather in their cap. I'd have tripped-out on this if it'd been around when I was a kid. It would've been secret-agent shit, or like Batman's utility belt. There's no telling what I might have kept in it...rocks, marbles, coins, arrowheads, fireworks...I'd definitely have had fireworks in it, and a book of matches. I'd have been the king! [ ]You can spend $30 on a nice cotton-twill hat all day of the week. If you're in the market for a new hat, might as well get one that can hold some shit. Even if you just carried a twenty and a spare house key it would probably come in handy one day. If you're going to the beach and don't want to take your wallet you could pack your keys, credit card, a bottle-opener, lighter, sunscreen, condoms, etc. If you decide to go camping you can pack it with a bunch of survival shit. It really was wild how much shit those guys packed in the hats, and even when you were looking for lumps they were very hard to see, and the average person would never notice. I have a giant pumpkin head, and when I put a cap on it stretches and distorts and has lumps anyway, so none would be the wiser. The geek in me thinks it's a great idea. If you added one of those dual clip-on LED lights that go on the brim of your cap you'd be happening. Hell, you might as well go on and add a propeller on top. You can buy those too. The stash cache hat. I can dig it. I tip my cap to all them over there at Wazoo.