Things I'll Burn in Hell For # 3,222: Meat...It's What's for Dinner (WARNING: NOT for Vegetarians)

Unless you're a strict herbivore (David D Martin) when it comes to diet, then check this mofo out. This open-face beauty is straight out of the oven and piping hot as pizza. And maybe better too. If Smell-O-Vision existed, this could make a hungry person cry. See what I mean by "burn in Hell?" I hate myself every time I touch meat...well, I guess that sounds a little funny, ha-ha, but seriously it's true, and for so many reasons I won't go into, but ethics, which I sometimes violate, is #1. Damn it, I eat meat once or twice a month. If there's anything I can say in my defense it that there are certain B-vitamins and a couple of other things that your body really needs, and they're found only in red meat or algae. Unless you happen to have some algae lying around, which I happen to, if you don't eat any red meat at all your body can't function at pure 100% peak.
 Some experts who are into no meat will say you can get everything you need from vegetables; i.e. protein from beans, etc. or fats and oils and lipids and such from this or that, but for those rather obscure Bs, it simply isn't true. Wish it were. What the experts say that's actually true is that algae, such as Chlorella and Spirulina, contain the complete B-profile. In fact algae is complete in virtually everything you need to live for a very long time. I buy organic algae by the two-pound bag and it's about a thousand times cheaper than buying ready-made capsules. It's also about a thousand times more of a pain in the ass to deal with, but it's ridiculously good for you. It's a "live food," which means that it's what it says, which is similar to buying a head of living hydro lettuce. Living food is incredibly good for you. Don't worry..."living food" won't crawl off your plate or try to change the TV channel or anything like that. It's just a term. It happens to be true, but it's more or less in suspended animation. Cool, huh? Sci-Fi food. Seriously, of all the superfoods it's the most super. I can feel it giving me energy ten minutes after I take it. Try it for yourself. It's pennies a dose in bulk. I'll try toremember to leave a link below.
 But how the hell did a post that started off talking about a criminally-good sandwich, switch to algae? Got me I guess...really I'm trying to give a possible (and a million times healthier) option to getting those elusive but essential B-vitamins. If you go the algae route, and good for you, don't expect the same flavor. I'll leave it at that. Talk about flavor...as the illustrious, boisterous and well-fed local food critic Dennis Washburn would say..."I MEAN!" That meant it was really good. Dennis was known for his eloquent reviewing style. This sandwich...I MEAN! Seriously, I mean it. It's damn good. Slap-your-mammy good. Home-cookin' good. Vegetarians, feel free to leave now. I'm sorry. I really am. I'll burn in Hell, but that's a rather tasty given. That said, read 'em and weep.

"WHERE'S THE BEEF?" That's a good question. A roast beef sandwich starts with the beef. Well, actually it starts with the bread, but you know. The beef comes from a 4-star restaurant that for lunch manages to serve elite home cookin' side-by-side with $26 "lunch portion" entrees. It's locally and organically raised, and it's slow-simmered with love. It's A#1, Prime-Ass beef, and it's grandma-good. And yes, it's fork-tender. When was the last time you heard that term? It's a shame you can't see the gravy. It's brown and badass and beautiful. Just like I like my women.

The bread is fantastic. It's organic sprouted multi-grain. It's a Publix brand. Since it's a store brand, it costs the same as other quality name-brand, non-organic bread. That's right..."organic" in no way resembles what it once meant, but it's still ABSOLUTELY worth getting if you can, especially when it's competitive in price. There's always some sort of bullshit, hidden ingredients, sugar, overpricing and the like in bread or anything else, but this is pretty legit stuff. First, it's made from sprouted grains, and that's an entirely different thing that non-sprouted. Sprouting converts the grains from a starch/sugar/gluten profile to a vegetable/plant energy thing. The nutrient levels go up by incredible amounts. I highly recommend taking a minute to search "sprouted grain." You'll be impressed. The sugar content is very low compared to most high-end brands. You can always add sweetness (and in healthier ways) to bread, but you can't take it away. I don't always want bread that tastes like cake. Too much sugar is a drag.

This isn't a very good photo, but this bread is actually very nice to look at. The texture is amazing. The flavor and aroma are the ticket. It depends on taste, and lots of people would miss the sugar, or maybe they like good ol' Wonder Bread, and that's cool, but this is seriously good bread. There have been some issues recently discovered with whole wheat bread; something about a long-chain molecule being hard to digest and actually bad for your stomach, although I might have that totally wrong, but whatever the usual wheat issues are, sprouting the wheat eliminates most or all of them. It's good and good for you.
 On top of the bread was a little mayo of course. I wish I could say I used some organic, "Grateful Dead" brand of small-batch mayo, or better yet that I made my own, but I didn't plan the sandwich to begin with, and I had no idea how good it would be. If I had I'd probably have made some. I used Hellman's "Real" Mayonnaise and it was no problem. Next up were several layers of thinly-sliced, organic Vidalia onions. You can't do any better. I MEAN! I thought about tomatoes, but that's such a flavor commitment. I absolutely love tomatoes and I can eat them on anything, but I really thought the onions alone would steer the meat in a more "primal" direction. The flavor profile on that was spot-on. They have a lot of sugar, but screw it.
 Next is the beef and a little gravy. Bubba. It's looking good. Gotta have pepper, so I used fresh-ground organic multicolor. Why not, right? I also added just a dusting of pink Himalayan sea salt, but that's entirely optional. Finally it's topped with a latticework of high-end gruyere and extra-sharp cheddar. It's cooked for about five minutes at 325 or so, then it's run under the broiler for a minute or two until it reaches a state of golden-brown motherfucking perfection. The caramelization of the cheddar makes you want to just rip it right off the sandwich and stuff it into your face. It would be too hot though. The gruyere underneath is only melted and not browned; just as it should be. It's worthy of a photo, which I took. It's holds heat like pizza, with the "cheese layer effect" or whatever it is, so you get to admire it for a while before you can think about eating it. At first that's cool because it really is nice to look at, but then the waiting game gets hard to deal with, so it usually ends up getting blown on. Hey, that sounds funny too. There's nothing funny about the sandwich though. It's a very serious sandwich. I'd serve it to anyone. It was worth the effort. I'll burn in Hell. Tasty, tasty Hell.

Organic Chlorella powder: https://www.amazon.com/Healthworks-Chlorella-Powder-Organic-Cracked/dp/B01G3ELGAY/ref=sr_1_22_s_it?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1497019515&sr=1-22&keywords=organic%2Bchlorella&th=1