I was watching an episode of the original Incredible Hulk TV series and I got a kick out of this scene. It featured the sargent guy from CHIPS; the show with Ponch and John on motorcycles. He was hitting on the damsel in distress; played by this woman who played the hot blond in everything back then. He wasn't playing nice and it looked like he was getting the upper hand. I was sure that mild-mannered scientist David Banner was going to see him molesting her and get really pissed and turn into the Hulk and severely kick his ass. I didn't expect what happened next at all. Talk about plot twists.
Sally was in the next room so I rewound it and asked her to come in for a minute. I told her there was an short educational clip I wanted her to see. I hit play and the bad man unfroze. "Why am I watching this?" she asked. "Just wait" I said. The scene played and she smiled and said that she was well aware of that technique, but thanks for the refresher course. I said any time. I think it's important not to forget the little things, especially in these uncertain times. She shook her head and walked off.
What happened was she ended up kneeing him in the balls and he went down like a clown. It took me by surprise but it was a textbook example of the situation, and how to remain calm under pressure and properly execute countermeasures. She did such a good job that David Banner didn't even have to Hulk-out to save her, but I bet the CHIPS guy got his ass kicked real good later in the episode. I didn't have the time to finish watching it. I'm glad I got to see the nut scene. It was a nice surprise, and dude had it coming. In the image above he was like "C'mon, baby...you know you want it. Don't fight it. C'mere."
She's like "You DISGUST me! I wouldn't wanna be with you if you were the last man on Earth! Get your hands off of me, you JERK!" He isn't deterred in the least. He's sure he's about to get some of her one way or another, and if his nice-guy routine doesn't work he won't hesitate to get nasty. It's time for calmer heads to prevail.
She knows her best shot is to get him to let down his guard, so she pretends to play along. She knows he won't figure it out until it's too late. She's got lots of buttons open. For a minute I thought I was watching something on the computer. I can picture the censors back then...advancing the video frame-by-frame; bent over the screen with a big magnifying glass looking for any tiny traces of nip. I think that's as close as I've ever seen. He's so sure he's about to tap it that he can already taste the afterglow cigarette...
...and then WHAM right to the nuts. "OOoof" goes the Chips guy. He won't be unbuttoning any more blouses for the next few minutes. Advantage: blond. The camera work was stellar.
He looks like he's in a world of pain. I guess the director said "Now give me your best 'broken balls' look." In real life he'd be trying to remember where he was, if not who he was, and he'd be trying to get his brain to fight through the searing pain and try to remember how to make him breathe again. Most guys get a little sympathetic feeling in their stomach when they see this. It's not just the incredible pain in your balls, although that's nothing to sneeze at; it's the fact that it basically shuts most men down pronto; worse than a taser. In real life, if she'd caught him square he'd be on the ground hollering for mommy...that is, if he were able to speak. As it was it got the point across.
The best part was when Joan Collins walked up a minute later and he had to pretend not to have just been kicked in the nuts. I guess it's lucky he didn't get a major blow, because then he'd have grabbed his balls right in front of Joan Collins. If you get racked hard enough to get taken down, you'll grab your balls in front of God and everybody and you won't care. You won't be able to care. I bet guys have accepted Jesus being in that much pain.
If I'd been the director I'd have gotten makeup to give him a little pale chartreuse on his face, because that's what color it'd be in real life. Maybe since the Hulk was green they didn't want to make him green too. That's a minor complaint though and they did a really good job with the nut scene. I don't want to see guys get kicked in the nuts, but it came out of the blue and it got me good. Plus he was an asshole. This technique still works today. I haven't had it used on me in a while, but trust me, it really works. It's never a bad idea to bone-up on self-defense. Have a nice day.
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