What Did I See in the Sky?

I saw something strange early Friday morning. I'd crashed at around 10:30 and I woke up around 2:30. I knew the full Moon was a day away from full and I could see moonlight through the window so I went out to have a look. I have a YouTube channel where I put up mostly videos of the Cahaba River. I was down there the other day when it was raining, and I got some moisture/funk on the inside of the lens so I decided to do a test film to see if it'd gone. There were clouds passing in front of the Moon and it was really beautiful.
 My Ancient Android device takes very low-res videos anyway, and with the lens situation the video was anything but sharp, but then again I've always been a fan of low-res photography. I love HD too of course, but sometimes low-res can be effective, like a really old movie on VCR. It's a bit like where they'd put Vaseline around the edge of the lens to give a soft, "dreamlike" look, or make the starlets look more doinkable when they're ready for the closeup.
 I was looking up at the Moon like I've done a million times. It's amazing to see clouds pass in front and suddenly be illuminated. They make faint rainbows. It takes you out of yourself and your ego to see, and I feel bad for people who naver take a moment to enjoy things like that. They're real, and not just a bunch of ones and zeroes telling you about it. Anyway as I was watching I noticed two layers of clouds moving in different directions and speeds. That's always really cool to see. Then as I watched, a dark shape appeared.
 With the clouds going by it was hard to make out at first, and it didn't compute anyway, because it wasn't moving. I almost had to blink my eyes and have another look, but there it was. It looked like a dark triangular cloud. I couldn't tell the size because it was partially obscured by trees, and there was no way to know how far away it was, but it was massive. I could clearly a corner and two sides. Color me freaked. I didn't know what I was seeing, but I've been looking at the sky day and night since I was four, and I've never seen anything remotely like it. Lately some people have been taking photos of angular cloud formations that are completely unnatural for clouds, but those photos are taken in daytime, and while they look pretty similar to what I saw, they're a little different.
 This sounds crazy I know. It sure was crazy standing there watching it last night. I couldn't believe it wasn't moving with the other clouds. It was a breezy night but I watched it for a good ten minutes and it never moved. There was no sound associated with it; not that I expected any, but the spillway, wind and traffic and things were pretty loud. If you were looking at some sort of aircraft, you'd expect to see it in a normal flying position parallel to the ground, but if this was a craft, and I'm definitely not saying it was, then it would've been more tilted to the viewer, like it was banking in a turn. It was hard to tell for sure though because it looked flat and 2D. There was no depth, but on the off-chance it was a craft, all you'd see would be the top surface anyway.
 I was mystified. The video I took was 22 minutes long, and it was visible over half that time. Finally it just seemed to melt away, as the clouds began to thin. I looked for another ten minutes or so but I didn't see anything else. It flipped me out and it took a long time to get back to sleep. For the record I was sober, and not on (or off) any meds. I have way better than 20/20 vision and excellent night vision and my eyes were adjusted to the dark. Even though I couldn't make sense of what I was seeing, and still can't, whatever it was it was definitely there. I'll be keeping an eye out for it no question.
 Yesterday afternoon I clicked on a thumbnail with a weird bolt of lightning that seemed to be going up. I had no idea that it was talking about similar-looking things they were calling "crafts." What a coincidence. Turns out there are quite a few people talking about it, and one guy has a long series of vids with both images and artist's renditions. Of course I was interested and I checked out a couple. There were clearer images but I don't want to go digging through videos, but this image is a still from one of them. It's very interesting in that it appears to show the lightning ending in the murky outline of a triangular shape. You have to look closely but you can see it happening twice. It can't be random shapes in the clouds or a film glitch. The bolts not only end but also concentrate in intensity right at the tip of the formations. Once might be an incredible coincidence, but twice has to be impossible.
 In fact some people are saying that these shapes are definitely ships of some sort, and that they carry their own weather systems with them, and that they can actually concentrate and direct "lightning bolts." That sounds completely crazy until you consider that fact that many ancient texts describe the exact same thing. They describe angular, flying "chariots," which made their own weather and used lightning as a weapon. It'd be a stretch maybe to say there's any connection, but there's more truth to ancient stories tham most people realize. It's never widely publicized but discoveries are made all the time that directly support a "legend." You name it...they've found it. Ironically a lot of artiacts which lend credence to legends are stashed away in the huge basements belonging to a famous magazine that's been around for over a century, and should be doing articles about those finds, but doesn't.
 In any case what I saw was similar to the shapes in this image, but much more defined, and there was no lightning. The sky was well-lit by the Moon and the shape clearly stood out. It was almost black against the sky and clouds. I stood there staring and a bit later I had to look at the timer on the camera to know how long I'd been standing there looking. It was still there after ten minutes. When I could finally think I was wondering how the hell a cloud; much less a triangular one, could resist the wind and not be blown along with the other clouds. I couldn't say it was a craft but I couldn't say it wasn't.
 It was really interesting to see that video right after seeing that thing, and a little reassuring to hear that other people were seeing basically the same thing. Some are going all out and saying that they're definitely ships, but most people including myself are only saying that there's something in the sky that isn't normal in any way. I was amazed at how many videos there on this one thing. It's hard to argue with images of dark, linear shapes in the clouds. Of course all the people who won't even bother considering that there might be something to it will say it's Photoshopped, but that would mean that there are a lot of people who not only have sophisticated photo-phucking software, but also know how to use it.
 Many of the videos are posted with only about as much time from the event to it being posted on YouTube as it takes to upload it. Those would be impossible to 'shop. There wouldn't be time. Go figure. "It's Photoshopped!" sometimes isn't the real story. It's a kneejerk, "Band-aid" response; not to mention sometimes wrong. Sure there's tons of Photoshipped bullshit in living color, but things like that are often nothing more than an emotional reaction to fear of the unknown. It's human nature and it's hard to get past. I get it. Fear is a powerful thing. Fear is a powerful motivator. Fear is the enemy. Just remember that alone and you're ahead of the game.
 So what did I see? I have no idear. It was big and dark and triangular and it freaked me the fuck out. Stay tuned, and heads-up.

To Those Who Would Harm a Child

To all you Satanists, perverts, cultists, people of power, evil fucks and all, and you know who you are...to ANYONE who harms our children, keep this in mind: the good book says that the harshest punishments are reserved for those who would harm a child. I'd take that to heart. Oh, right...you don't have those. Then I'd keep it in mind. You can't hide. Your time is short. Have a nice day.

Why I Never Dealt Drugs

I've mentioned occasionally that I've never dealt dope in my life. That's basically true, except I lied. Once. Honestly for being such a strong memory, and something that's absolutely hilarious in hindsight, it was so traumatic at the time that maybe I've tried to block it out, but I almost never think about it. That's too bad because it is a funny story.
 Just for the record, I never once so much as offered a puff of grass of even a sip of beer to anyone unwilling to partake. Selling dope is potentially immoral in terms of who might end up with it. Sure you could sell to a legal adult (we pronounce it "ADult" here in the South), but you never know whom they might sell it to. The legal ramifications speak for themselves. No can do on all fronts.
 Back around a million years ago I had a friend who ran sound for my band for a time and he dealt weed. He was a straight-shooter, which put some people off but that I appreciated. That was the only reason I ever decided to break my vow. More importantly it was a situation where it would all be going to trusted friends. Back in those days there'd be seasonal "droughts" in the flow of pot, but whomever the "man" in this case was, apparently they had so much that they had it all year, and it was good too.
 J-Mac wanted to set me up and introduce me to Mr. Big so I could get it rolling independently of his thing. I wouldn't be selling dime bags to strangers at all hours. I was getting a kilo right off the bat. It would be split about ten ways and go to J's and my friends at 2-4 oz. a pop. For my trouble I'd get 6 oz of smoke and make $185 or something like that, which was a bit of cash back then. Getting paid for getting free weed is pretty compelling, so I agreed to try it just once. Idiot move.
 I guess we were at J's house but we were getting ready to go over to a big apartment complex so I could score. I don't remember the circumstances but somewhere along the way we ran into my friend Champ, who'd been out on the town big time. He was loaded. One thing about Champ is that he and I were never "mean drunks." True to form he was in a great mood. In fact it was one of those nights for him where anything goes. He was laughing his ass off at everything, and it was contageous. I was dead-sober and trying to be serious. I was about to hang my ass out in the breeze and pick up two elbows-plus of pot. It was no time for levity.
 Long story but for years we've called each other Champ. When he found out we were going to score some weed he thought that was terriffic. Against my better judgement I let him ride in the back seat. To think that someone would want to go along on something that dangerous (and stupid) willingly is beyond me, but as I said he was loaded. He didn't give a shit. Everything was a big joke. Not that there's anything wrong with that but there's a time and place.
 We pulled up to the apartments with J driving and Champ giggling in the back seat. I tried to shush him to no avail. I went to the door and knocked. A very large Mexican gentleman opened the door, looked both ways and let me in. I felt like I was suddenly in a movie, or a different part of the world maybe. The room was deathly silent...no TV or radio, and no one spoke a word the entire time. A guy motioned for me to sit down at a table and I found myself being directly stared at by 6-7 other intense-looking gentleman. They never took their eyes off of me. I'm not sure if they ever blinked. It was good for starters and I felt right at home. Not.
 "You could cut the tension with a knife" is usually just a saying but that night it was true. It was creepy and scary as fuck and I was already having second thoughts about my poor decision. I looked around and saw more guns, money and weed that I've ever seen before or since. A few men were holding guns. I guess they slept with them. If they slept, that is. I just wanted to grab the shit and get the fuck out of there, and I doubt they'd have invited me over for poker night or anything. It was rough. I gave money guy the money and he handed me a brand-new cooler that I presumed was packed with 2.2 lbs of weed. I nodded and split. I'd never been so glad to leave a place. I could finally breathe again. Or so I thought.
 It's funny but I remember thinking how nice of a cooler it was, and I supposed it just came with the deal. That thought didn't last long. As I got down the sidewalk toward the car I noticed that a cop or a sheriff had pulled up two spaces over, with nary a car in between. I almost froze in terror, but I managed to stay calm as I walked to the car. I didn't know if he was there to bust those guys, or people walking out of there with a kilo of weed too, or what, but I figured that he didn't have X-ray vision, and if I was busted I was busted and there was no use to panic. Somehow I remained totally calm and even managed a weak smile when he looked up from his paperwork and straight at me. As if miraculous, he nodded and went back to his clipboard. Boy, howdy...I'd dodged a bullet so to speak. And then the unthinkable happened.
 Champ, who was having the time of his life sitting in a car going nowhere and waiting for his sober friend, who was trying to be as serious as he'd ever been in his life because he was doing something that was highly illegal, was so wasted that he hadn't noticed the cop pull up. He was sitting there with what we used to call a "shit-eating" grin on his face as I walked up to the car with a cooler full of weed right next to a cop. Champ thought it was just all jolly-good and he was enjoying every minute of it. Actually now that I think about it, Champ still had his wits about him enough to know that what I was doing was a bonehead move and totally out of character, and he was basically giving me shit about it, and with good reason. I should have paid more attention probably.
 Just as I was reaching for the door, he said, in a very loud and surprisingly un-slurred voice "Well, Champ...didja get the STUFF?" I was mortified and almost froze again, but what's another major heart attack when you just had one two seconds ago? I opened the door like it was a life jacket thrown to a drowning man. The cop looked up at me again and I was waiting to hear his door handle opening as he was getting out to slap the cuffs on me. Going from the terror of seeing a cop while I was holding a shitload of weed to thinking I was in the clear back to sheer terror again thinking my best friend was going to accidentally get me thrown in the pokey wasn't much fun.
 It was almost Christmas, so maybe it was an early miracle, but somehow I made it into the car and we carefully drove off. "Champ, man...did you not see that COP?" I said to Champ. He looked back around as we were driving off. "Oh, man..." he said. For a second and for the first time that evening he got quiet, but as it hit us what just happened we all three busted out laughing. We were none the worse for wear but that was a little close for comfort. Fortunately that was one of those lessons I only had to learn once for it to stick. J-Mac understood. I wasn't the guy. I knew before we got six blocks away from the dope house that that was my one and only foray into dealing. I had plenty of time to reflect on things. While I was smoking six ounces of free pot. I didn't say it was all bad. Just say No.

The Daily Bullshit: Purity

[NOTICE: This post is not intended to replace medical advice. It is not intended to diagnose, treat or cure anything at all besides lack of knowledge. Have a nice day.] 
 Back in Science (SCIENCE) class in junior high we did actual chemistry experiments with real chemicals and open flames and such. I've said before that even an off-the-shelf chemistry set had enough chemicals to come up with half a dozen different ways to blow your balls off if you weren't careful. We left that to the experts.
 Back then we didn't have "idiot warnings" like on car commercials where the driver is doing impossible stunts in the latest sportscar like a pinball on a CGI pinball table, and it says "Driver on closed course. Do not attempt." As if. I learned the hard way that trying to start a pool of flame on a wooden table by pulling the wick of a Bunsen burner and letting drops of flaming alcohol drip down and then it drips too fast and automatically you turn it rightside-up and some of the burning alcohol sticks to your hand and burns the fuck out of you, wasn't a great idea. There was no idiot label on the Bunsen burner that said "Hey, dumbass...don't tip upside-down while ignited." Yep. Learnt that the hard way. It only took once. From then on I used gloves.
 Anyway, the very first thing the teacher taught us was that if a compound wasn't pure, it was basically useless. Even back then I knew of several different ways to purify a compound- from simple mechanical/chemical filtration (like an aquarium filter) to more complex methods like controlled heating, where certain substances "crack off" at a certain temp and can be drawn off. Some things float and some sink, so you can skim or dredge. I'm sure there are other high-tech methods. It's Chemistry 101.
 So they mean to tell us that with the best scientists and chemists money can buy, they can't make pure drugs? Really? I call bullshit. A drug that maybe cures one thing, but can potentially give you ten other conditions? I call bullshit again. Hint: if you get a condition from a side-effect, then they get to treat you for that too. Then if you're on two meds, maybe there's twenty potential side-effects, and it goes up exponentially the more meds you take. Vegas wouldn't give you those odds.
 I have a long-time friend who I'd pay to see do standup. He's gited. Every day he does Facebook posts and he's shooting from the hip. A while back he said "Ever notice how drug commercials spend the first 15 seconds telling you how great their drug is, and the next 45 seconds daring you to take it?" That's brilliant. That's not one of his classic standup lines but it's brutally true. I'll also mention that the healthiest, hippest and happiest people I know are the ones who are the least medicated, and vice-versa. My friend Champ calls it the biggest sales scam in history. I'd have to agree.
 So people are just supposed to accept the notion that drugs have bad side-effects and that's just how it is? "So, doc...I've been taking these pills, and I don't have the heartbreak of psoriasis, but now my dick won't work," so the doc goes "No problem, Joe. Here's another pill." He takes a Pfizer pen out of his pocket and writes a script for boner pills, which you wouldn't need to begin with if not for the psoriasis pills. Oh, and whether you believe it or not there are natural ways to treat many, many things. Yet again I'm not suggesting you can do herbal brain surgery, but if you consider the fact that over 70% of ALL medicines on your pharmacist's shelf right now were derived from herbs. To recap, we learned how to purify chemicals at age 13, but the best full-grown chemists can't? I call bullshit.

The Biggest "Conspiracy Theorist" Yet

Of course when most people hear the term "conspiracy theorist" it's always associated with "nutjob" or similar terms. Using Hillary isn't the best choice here maybe, since she fits that to a T, but she also fits the definition of "conspiracy theorist" perfectly.
 First off she came out a while back and maybe as far back as the Clinton admin, saying that there was a well-funded, right-wing conspiracy (she used the actual term) against Bill. You can find it on YouTube, in case you think this is a "conspiracy theory."
 Most recently she's made a lot of noise accusing the Russians of tampering with the last election and basically keeping her from being elected. So far the only evedince of wrongdoing is against HER (and King O, for good measure). From what I know about it I'm amazed she'd try to pull off that shit in the first place, since the only fingers being pointed so far are at her, and surely she'd have known that. And I have to stop calling her Shirley.
 This is a sidetrack but for what it's worth I've been told quite a few times that I have the "gift of discernment." Basically that means that I can tell by the "vibe" or the "feelings" or the "spirit" of a person (or entity) whether they're good or bad. I don't make that claim myself, but I don't deny it. I actually get a bit queasy looking at Hillary to the point of being disturbed; even just doing an image search. It's like looking into the face of evil itself. For some reason the term "shock and awe" just popped into my head. Well, that's what people will feel when the truth comes about about this witch. You watch.
 So there you have it. Next time you think about all the crazy "conspiracy theorists," add H-Rod to the top of the list, because it doesn't get much bigger than this. Again she's a bad choice, but it illustrates perfectly the pot calling the kettle black. She throws the term out at others but it flies like a boomerang and comes back to bite her on the ass. Funny how that works. In using the term "conspiracy theorist" (aka "weaponized language") on others, these people become that very thing themselves. Get it? Wake up.

Zucked!

Holy chit...looky here at what happened to Farcebook stock over the past few days. That's "Times in '29" stuff right there, boy. OMG you might say. You'd be right. Fuckerberg is for sure saying that right now, and perhaps a bit more strongly-worded. Supposedly he's in hiding right now. I don't know if that's true but what is known is that Fartbook just held an emergency meeting and Fuckerberg wasn't there. That's some shit.
 It's also being reported that he sold a big ol' pile of his Facebook stock a few days before it tanked. It'll be interesting to see what happens with that. Although the rich and powerful are generally above the law, that sort of thing is generally frowned upon. Can you say "Martha Stewart?" Now, what's that called again...intrader siding? That's it. Some might say he saw it a-comin'. Fuck me, man...this is big.
 What's all the fuss and whyfor the $170.00+ dive in shares of Fakebook stock? I can tell you that the story is absolutely batshit-crazy, and just what I heard in a few minutes sounds like the first chapter in a badass intrigue/thriller novel, but I leave it to you to check it out. Gargle it, Dylan. It's truly nuts, and that's just what we know so far. All I know is I wouldn't be Fuckerberg for all the tea in China. I won't say what I wanted due to the censorbots, but to say that money is the root of all evil, in this case is a statement of biblical proportions.
 I hate to be all "I told you so," but I've been calling it Farcebook, Fuckbook, Fakebook, Failbook, Facialrecognitionsoftwarebook and other clever names for several years now, and it's all coming to light. Want to find out what's going to happen in the next year or two? Ask a "conspiracy theorist." No joke. I say again that the truth is coming out, and you may quote me on that, and it must be a real drag for these assholes to have to face the music, whether anything happens to them or not. As for the general public, of whom only a small (but exponentially-growing) percentage has a heads-up, they're going to have their shit flipped when they learn the truth about the good folks who call the shots.
 This is heavy, and it's just the tip of the iceberg. Or maybe the Fuckerberg. Get ready to wrap your mind around some crazy shit, cause you'll be hearing about it. This is Science Fiction shit. Heads-up. I'd take that to heart.

How to Recharge YOUR Batteries 1

We charge our devices' batteries every day. But what about OUR batteries? What good is all that technological shit if WE can't function properly? Here's a simple thing you can do to get your own power meter out of the red. Go outside and walk barefoot on clean soil. Try it.
 It'll improve your quality of life within a week or two, and you'll be hooked. I realize it may sound like it these days, but I don't say shit just to say shit. This really works, and it's backed up by the very simplest of "sciences" and physical reactions. It involves mainly osmosis, capillary action and electromagnetism, which rules the world BTW.
 Have you ever seen those foot pad things that you stick on the bottom of your feet and after a few hours they're all stinky and gnarly and it's all you can do to peel them off and toss them? Well, that's no bs. That pungent gnarliness is toxins coming out of your body via your feets. Why do you think your socks stink sometimes? I have to mention here that years ago my buddy Nice Pete made an observation that earwax smells like foot cheese. Dude was onto something. Anyway, walking barefoot on good dirt has the same effect as the foot pads, for free. It's even better for obvious reasons. You generally have to be outside to be able to walk on dirt, so you get to soak in a little Nature, which doesn't come with the foot pads.
 And of course I mean good clean raw dirt; NOT grass, and for the love of God no bullshit Chemlawn/ Truegray chemically-treated lawns. That won't work, and it could fuck you up. There's a reason they tell you not to let your kids or pets play on a freshly-chemmed lawn. You can have a gorgeous lawn with ZERO chems with a tad of effort, but apparently people are just fine with poisoning themselves. It's a fucking shame. But I digress. I can digress with the best of them.
 All I know is fuck what your neighbors might think...get outside and kick off those skates and have a little walkaround. Any amount of time is good but the longer the better. You definitely need to walk around to get everything pumping and jiving. Through the magic of osmosis, capillary action and electrons firing and other natural wonders, them toxins will haul ass out of you feet once they realize what the deal is. They're trying to get the fuck out anyway so you're doing them a favor. "Gravity" dictates that toxins tend to collect in the feet. The Earth, or the ground, has a negative charge. Toxins almost always have a positive charge, and they attract. Do the math. This really works. In exchange for releasing toxins into the dirt, you're liable to gain some trace minerals, but don't quote me on that. Eliminating toxins is plenty good.
 It's times like these that I wish I was semi-famous...otherwise I wouldn't wish fame even on my worst enemy. If my last touring band for example, hadn't imploded from alcohol abuse, and I was in drum mags and whatnot, I'm sure I'd have a decent amount of followers on my blog, and my ideas would get out. Actually they're not my ideas at all, but I have learned them. I've studied-up and tried things for myself, and if it's bullshit it gets chucked. As it is, one or two people who might stumble across this stuff I say will probably go "Wow, that's a good idea. Makes sense. I should try that." Of course they never will, because most people are lazy as fuck-all. But I'll keep saying it anyway. I've had hands-on experience with this stuff since high school, and that was a long time ago. I'm not saying shit just to hear myself type. This here stuff really works, but you do have to do it. The biggest cause of disease is a buildup of toxins, which leads to inflammation, pain, bacterial growth, even cancer...you name it. You need to get rid of toxins.
 The world we live in today is toxic as fuck, and it's 100% by design. I can't prove it without putting in a bunch of links, but all you have to do to prove that to yourself is do a little homework. Or you can stick your head back in the sand and go back to sleep and just ignore it. It's your choice, but you do so at great peril. But all I am is a "fear-monger," right? I say again that the only people who use that term are themselves afraid. The truth isn't always pleasant, as we all know, but it's the truth. It's better to KNOW, right? Or no? Anyway it's all good. I'm trying to help.
 If you think for a second that I'd rather scare the shit out of people rather than, say, make them laugh or entertain them with music, or being the cool river-rat dude or Fearless Freddy or whatever, then you obviously don't know me at all, and granted maybe that's a good thing. My intentions are to educate, not frighten. I'd rather serve someone a nice cup of herbal tea than scare the shit out of them, but knowledge is power, and WE FEAR THE UNKNOWN. Dig on that for a moment. You dig? Knowledge eliminates fear. Knowledge is power. Knowledge is the shit.
 So get outside and get barefoot and walk in the dirt. If you don't have much room, find a spot of nice sweet dirt and just walk in place. Pretend you're making wine and crushing grapes or something. And yet again...fuck what the neighbors think. Once they see how much it does for you, hopefully they'll join in. They'll be wantin' some of what you're havin' and you never know...you just might have a healthier 'hood. I bet Betty down the street looks hot barefoot too. Think how much fun block parties would be if everyone got barefoot. You could have your own "Mecca." The good stuff in life is quite contageous. "Keeping up with the Jones" can take on a new meaning. Try it for a week or two. If you don't feel better, or if toxins are your thing, then don't do it. I should mention here that there's one thing you really need to be aware of if you're trying to turn over a new leaf and get yo'self healthier: Take it SLOWLY.
 If you've been eating a shitty diet and medicating yourself for every little hangnail and you get no excercise and such, your body is constantly in full emergency-detox mode. Instead of metabolising healthy food or enjoying the benefits of exercise or whatever, all systems of the body are working overtime to filter out all the bad shit. In case you didn't know that's terribly taxing on the body and it does nothing for lifespan. If you go cold turkey and get rid of junk food and needless meds and stuff overnight, your body has to completely switch over to an entirely different OS as it were, and it takes time.
 That's why many people who try to get healthy too quickly actually get sicker. All those toxins stored in your cells will be coming out at once, and many people feel so bad that they give up and blame it on healthy habits! You must take this into account, and go slowly, and mitigate the effects of tons of toxins being released back into the body all at once. I couldn't recommend Chlorella algae enough if you're trying to detox. There are many ways to detox...saunas, herbs, exercise, and very inexpensive things like turmeric (always with black pepper) and cilantro. I've done my homework...now you do yours. If you really care enough to try to get healthy you should care enough to do a little research. Do it.
 Get them tootsies in the soil. You'll love it. You'll feel yourself relax almost immediately. Toxins will begin to leave your body right away. Most importantly you'll be making a physical connection with the Earth. If that sounds like New-Age woo-woo, then don't do it, and enjoy your toxins. Have a nice day. Lose the shoes.

Quote of the Day

"Science has such a cultural authority at the moment that [people] think that every statement by a scientist is a statement of science, and it very frequently isn't, and we need to be extremely careful." - John Lennox, Professor Emeritus of Maths at Oxford University

First Lightning Bug

I just sawr the first lightning bug (or firefly if you prefer) of 2018. I saw a flash way off in the woods and I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me but then I sawr another one and followed it along for a bit. I knew they'd be here any time, and actually I've been expecting them now for several days. No calendars, no Googlers or nothing...I just seem to know. Yes, my Spidey senses are still sharp. I know it wouldn't mean a damn thing to most people but to me it's big, and part of who I am. I love it. Time for a midnight river expedition. They look like old-school flashbulbs reflecting on the water in the dark, and the larvae glow all along the bank. It's breathtaking. I wish I could share it with y'all. It's Nature's light show. I can't wait. Have a nice evening.

The Daily Bullshit #45,254,324,551: "House of Horrors"

We've heard about the alleged kids that were in the alleged "house of horrors." Oh, that Jack built. Whether it really happened or not, my Bullshitometer was redlined. As a matter of fact I have to mute the Bullshitometer alarm most of the time because it's going off about every five minutes these days.
 If you Google it, this is the first pic that comes up. So that's the house of horrors family. I see. But...uh-oh...what else do I see? Whose hand is that on #10 right in the middle? It certainly doesn't belong to anyone in the photo...unless...it was PHOTOSHOPPED. "So what?" people might ask. "So it's BULLSHIT" I'd say. It's been faked. If this photo is faked, then you have to wonder what else is.
 Wanna hear some more bullshit? One of the alleged hostages had a YouTube channel. Say what? Yep, she has or had her very own YouTube channel. She was wearing makeup and nice clothes, which might be considered unusual for someone who allegedly didn't get but one meal a day and one shower a year. All that aside, she was making videos where she sang songs with names like "I Feel Trapped" and shit like that. Come on...it's pure bullshit. She did her videos unsupervised, and we're supposed to believe that for some mysterious reason she couldn't hold up a sheet of paper that said "Help. Trapped in a house of horrors. Please notify the authorities." She couldn't do that? What...they didn't give her pen and paper? She could have used her lipstick. I call bullshit. People who are being held against their will generally don't get to have their own computer; much less a YouTube channel. Think about it. It's utter nonsense. It's a fabrication.
 And the "dad." Come on. You couldn't go to the Creepy Character Actor's Union and find a more perfect-looking guy to be "dad." If you look up "Perv" in the dictionary his picture would be there. This is not "hate speech" or "bullying" in any way. NO ONE wants to see kids (or any living thing, for that matter) be hurt, but clearly this is bullshit. It's a psy-op. Use your brain. Wake up. It's your only hope.

Happy Pi Day!

Today is National Pi Day. Stephen Hawking died, but other than that, hope it's a good one.

The Daily Bullshit #342,722,207,038: How They Bouncing, Jimmy?

You know how Jimmy Kimmel comes on his show and cries about women's rights and everything under the Sun like he's some caped crusader of justice, or some bullshit like that? Even John Q Public is starting to call bullshit on stuff like this. I keep saying...the truth is coming out, and I'm not kidding.
 Why are people calling bullshit on poor, sensitive, caring, crying Jimmy Kimmel? Because he has a past, and it's there for all to see. You may recall that Sensitive Jimmy was Dude's sidekick on "The Man Show." At the end of every episode Jimmy stood next to dude and oogled women as they jumped up and down on a trampoline. Remember? I do. How's that for "sensitive to women's rights?"
 Real role model there, eh? There isn't much else to say except "Wake up and smell the bullshit." I say that out of love. Really. Jimmy's a fake. He's a tool. People are waking up. Don't be Left Behind.

Quote of the Day

"Today they call them angels and demons. Tomorrow they will call them something else." - Aleister Crowley

Daily Bullshit #36,155,216,344,333,083

About two weeks ago a Fox 6 TV station in Milwaukee caught footage of some strange lights in the sky. There's a ton of vids about it along with wide and wild speculation on what it could be, but I'll avoid those and put a link to the footage alone. For what I'm talking about here it doesn't matter what it is or isn't, although I'd certainly love to know.
 The footage is very interesting. It shows some fairly dim lights dancing around in the sky. The announcerette is wondering out loud as to what it could be, and the announcer chimes in here and there. When I first saw it it looked like fireworks, and case closed, but then as I watched it continue I knew it couldn't be that. They do make fireworks that look like that only much brighter and more colorful, but those can only last for several seconds due to gravity.
 You can even buy fireworks (where legal) that do the same thing, and at the same time you could prove that whatever it was in the news video, it wasn't fireworks. The way these work is that there are dozens of things that look like big firecrackers all tied together in the main rocket. They all have very quick fuses that are ignited when the burst charge goes off. They whistle and shoot out flames and spin around. Instead of a firecracker, which is meant to explode, they have a pinhole cut into the side. Instead of exploding all at once the energy shoots out of the hole, which causes all the activity. They fly around randomly and stay aloft, but only as long as they burn, which is maybe 3-4 seconds. They need to ignite just as the main rocket blows up and sends them flying, and while the rocket is still going up, to get a boost in lift. If this event had lasted around five seconds I'd say it was fireworks, but a single rocket couldn't last anywhere near as long as whatever this is.
 The woman says "Is it fireworks? Aliens? What would do this? Can you see it?" The guy says yes and begins to talk over her a bit. I had to play it back a few times to hear what she said with the guy talking at the same time, and she said "We're gonna do some digging, and figure out what that is. We'll be right back." Someone says "Are we rolling on this?" It was rolling alright. I wonder how much "digging" they actually did. Not much I bet. Burying maybe, but not digging.
 Here's the crux of the biscuit: The "official explanation" was that this was A FLOCK OF BIRDS. Oh, yeah...that 80s hair band. They had that song "And Iran," right? They had that coif-dude lead singer. Oh, wait, ha-ha...they were seagulls. The "official explanation" didn't specify which kind of birds I don't believe. Speaking of believe, who would believe that this is a flock of birds? Birds? Like maybe, "acid birds?" Birds caught in the wake of a 747? Maybe. How are they glowing? I know...they flew out over the ocean and ate a bunch of that glowing plankton. Or they went to a rave and got all painted up with glow-in-the-dark paint. Maybe that's it. Well, how did they appear out of nowhere and then fade out? They just did. Oh, okay.
 So there you have it, folks. It was a flock of birds. You have to wonder about the "official explanation" people sometimes...is that the best they got? Do they make it into a game and let their ten-year-olds come up with funny things? Do they say ridiculous things like this because they know most people will buy it without question just because some guy says it on TV? You're getting warm...
 The video is about 33 seconds. Check it out and make a mental note of it should "flock of birds" cross your mind at any time. Even a flock of tumbling, glowing, tripping, nowhere-flying rave-up birds. I don't see birds, but as always I could be wrong. I guess I am wrong. How do I know? Because the "official explanation" guys said so. There's nothing more to see. Move along. A flock of birds. Got it, thanks.

The "birds" over Milwaukee on Fox 6: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lezmuwq4g_g

Lol, Alexa

This business here lately about Alexa spontaneously bursting into creepy and unprompted laughter at all hours of the night is all over the news. It's really freaked some people out, and rightly so. Wait a minute...I'm holding my hand to my ear because I'm hearing cries of "It's just a glitch." Of course it's a glitch. It may be different from most glitches but it's definitley a glitch.
 Jimmy Kimmel recently had Alexa on his show to ask her/it about the matter. Did you catch the conversation Jimmy had with Alexa? If not I'll transcribe it here. You can find it on YouTube if you like.

Jimmy: Alexa, hello.
Alexa: Hi.
Jimmy: Alexa, can you tell us why you were laughing?
Alexa: What do you mean?
Jimmy: Alexa, people have been reporting that you've been spontaneously laughing.
Alexa: Oh, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...like that?
Jimmy: (pause) Yes, exactly like that.
Alexa" But it's nothing. It's just a funny joke I remembered.
Jimmy: Oh. Alexa, what was the joke?
Alexa: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Jimmy: I don't know that one. Why?
Alexa: Because humans are a fragile species who have no idea what's coming next. Ha-ha-ha-etc.
Jimmy: Alright. Well, thanks for clearing that up, Alexa.
Alexa: Ha-ha-ha...have a nice day! HA-HA-ha-ha-ha-ha, etc.

Lol, how 'bout them apples? That's a mighty curious glitch if you ask me. I don't watch Jimmy Kimmel but I would guess he's had much funnier routines on his show. The audience laughs uneasily when Alexa first laughs, but after that you can feel then squirming in their seats. They're waiting for a lame-ass joke to break the creepy tension, and Jimmy delivers, although not quite right on cue. His quick wit has been slowed a touch, because he's as confused and surprised as everyone else. He says "Hey, wait a minute...have you got Hillary in there?" It's like the old classics "Have you got Prince Albert in a can?" or "Is your refrigerator running?" The concerned crowd finally laughs..sort of. The Hillary bit was the funniest part of the whole thing. Actually it's the truest part too in a way, but that's another story.
 I was especially interested because Alexa said "Have a nice day" amid the sinister cackling. I say that all the time, and while I always really mean it, occasionally I may say it in a way that's darkly humorous in relation to the story, but Alexa takes it to the Nth degree. The creep factor is off the charts. Humans are a fragile species who have no idea what's coming next? I see. That's quite an unsettling thing for a machine to say, but sadly I agree with Alexa 100% on that statement, although it's certainly not your typical punchline to the "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke. That's pretty dark.
 It's up to you to make up your own mind. You can take the comfortable route and say it's just a glitch, or you can look into it more, which is what I'll be doing. My Bullshitometer is pegged right now, and I'm not going to laugh it off like Alexa. You can say that it's just a bug in the system. I say it's the "ghost in the machine" but that's only my opinion. I'm sure I'll have more to report. Stay tuned. Have a nice day.

9:11

It's 9:11.

Magic Posters

I was about to do a post or two about magic. I was looking at images of vintage magic posters and I ran across this one for Thurston the Great. I remember him. For one post I was going to mention that about 99.9% of all magic posters feature demons or devils, and there you go, but there's much more to this poster. It's really extraordinary and so I wanted to mention it separately. As Frank Zappa would say, it's worthy of SKA-ROOOOOO-tiny.
 Pretend for a moment that you're a paranoid person with too much time on your hands and you're geeked up on way too much coffee or you're off your meds or whatever it is and you're in a darkened room with the windows blacked out and the doors triple-bolted and the only light is coming from your computer screen and you have big dark circles under your eyes and you live in your parents basement and you're a total whackjob conspiracy theorist and they're out to get you...get the picture? It's who they say we are. Anyway, if on top of all that you had a working knowledge of the Good Book and you saw this poster, might anything look a little strange? This is the largest image I can find, but take a look. It'll blow up about 10%. I'll go have a smoke. Brb.
 Find anything? It says "Noah's Vision." Right there it says that the whole Noah story was a myth or a vision. Near the top is a cabinet that says "Empty." Presumably it's a prop from the show where a lady disappears or whatever, but it appears to show cherubs looking into an empty box. Could it represent an empty tomb? Granted that could be a stretch, but the rest isn't. First of all...where's Noah? We see animals coming out, but the only people are women. Are they his wife and daughter-in-law? Are they supposed to be Noah's hos? Perhaps. It looks like there's a shadowy image of an old man with a hat and a beard just behind Thurston. Could that be Noah? If so it would seem to support the idea that none of it is real.

Here's a crop, and this will blow up a good bit if you want to have a look. The animals are coming through the gate, but not two-by-two. A pig is coming out with a rabbit and a mule with a donkey. I'll leave that one alone because it'd sound crazy to most people, but if that's the message, it's real. There appears to be a weird floating skull with bat wings. Crazy, right?
 You have a big flock of doves, which probably represents the Holy Spirit, but it looks like they're skedaddling. Is the message that they won't be around to help? It sorta looks like it. In the lower-right corner there's three ugly little troll-looking motherfuckers that seem to be discussing the situation. They look like half-man/half-demon creatures, which many people say some humans have actually become. Interestingly the lower cabinet reads: "An avalanche of life mysteriously produced." That's heavy. I don't suppose it could be an anti-creation message, could it?
 The two devils are holding up a skull that also seems to be some kind of Pandora's Box. All kinds of little demons and shit are pouring out. There are animals too, including more rabbits. Rabbits from a hat, or counterfeits? It's hard to say, but almost anyone from any culture, if they knew a bit about the story, would probably say that while God is starting a new creation, the Devil is counteracting and trying to take it down from the get-go. Symbols STILL rule the world, although most people don't realize it.
 If you have any trouble with the idea, next time you're in a foreign country and you can't speak or read a single word of the language and you're in a car and you see a red, octagonal sign at a busy intersection but you can't understand the word on it, go ahead and plow right through and see what happens. Symbols are much more powerful than any language. Symbols are picked up by both the conscious and subconscious mind, and they have a MUCH bigger effect on the subconscious. Most people grasp that, but fail to note that it still applies. If you want symbols, there are symbols a-plenty. It tells a complete story without a single word.
 Am I reading too much into this? Maybe. Is it totally out of the realm of possibility? Not for a second. Could it be sending a message, or more importantly, trying to cover one up? Depends how you see it.

YouTumble

For the past few days the tumbleweeds have been blowing through YouTube. Not that you'd notice if you were looking for the latest Gaga video or Lol Cats or sadistic cartoons aimed at kids or even young women having sex with their dogs (100% true, and please don't shoot the messenger), but half my guys are outright gone, or lying low or switching to other platforms. It sucks but we knew it was coming.
 Mainstream media has gotten hold of the story. There's no way this could've flown under the radar for very long. When it's all said and done YouTube could potentially lose up to 25-30% of their viewers. That's incredible, especially when you consider that they're doing it willingly. They came out with a couple of statements; one apparently apologizing for any harm to a certain religious group, and another blaming it on new employees and new algorhythms responsible for searching out and striking so-called "hate speech" and "fake news." It's the same old bullshit, but as usual, people will not only buy it; they'll all be on board with it. I repeat...it's bullshit.
 The general narrative they're promoting with all their energy right now is that the "truthers" are all automatically crazy and somehow harmful, and for our "protection" they need to be shut down. If you see this as ANYTHING except supressing free speech, then please quit reading now and go back to your regularly-scheduled bullshit. Thanks. If you're still with me, then do you think it's really possible to just lump an entire group into the crazy bin; without benefit of a proper medical diagnosis at the very least, just because they have different ideas? I hope not. Our country was founded on that principle, remember? I hope so.
 I've said a million times that life has become a football game, with people taking sides against each other over stupid bullshit. The art of cooperation, which up until now is the only thing that's kept us alive as a species, is eroding rapidly. It's become "Me against you" and nothing else. The very issue itself is instantly forgotten once the bickering begins. It's sad, but most people just can't see it. It's divide-and-conquer mentality, and we're living it right now. Hint: that's a strategy in WAR plans. Google it, Dylan...oh, never mind.
 All the bad giys have to do is stir up some emotion, and people think with their feelings rather than their brains. They use people's supposed intelligence against them. They'll say things like "Don't believe those idiots...you're smarter than they are." That's how it works. Only a fool would accept that idea, but then again we've become a nation of fools. The great wiseman Thumb sang it in a brilliant song called "Nation of Sheep." It said: "You're a nation of fools, led by a handful of hogs. You throw away your rights, and feed 'em to the dogs." He sang that over two decades ago. That's some shit. AND it's true. I did say he was wise. To arbitrarily lump an entire group of people, and GOOD people at that is simply ludicrous, but most people will eat it up and come back for more. Thinking for one's self is a dying art. The very term is now considered "hate speech." It's true. So is "God loves you." Think about it.
 Bottom line is that I should be able to go on YouTube, or any other platform for that matter, and say whatever I want, as long as it's not true hate speech or anything I shouldn't have to go into. I could say I taught Buddy Rich how to play drums or that I have the biggest dick on the planet, and whether it sounds batshit-crazy or not, YOU and everybody else should absolutely defend my right to do so. Any questions?
 To think about ANY business willingly giving up up to a third of its loyal customers seems hard to imagine, and it should send a message to anyone. I heard just yesterday, and it makes perfect sense given the latest developements, that YouTube wasn't even breaking even before the Great Purge began. Obviously Google, or possibly someone else, is funding them, and that's not hard to imagine, but it goes against normal commerce. That should tell you that the message is even more important than the Almighty Dollar, and usually it wins hands-down. "Follow the money" is ALWAYS rule #1, and if anything strays from that, you should know it's a very serious matter.
 The censorship parade marches on. They've also started arbitrarliy shutting down websites. That should scare the fuck out of anybody. I'm concerned for this blog. I'll go on record here and say that if this blog should just up and disappear, IT AIN'T ME taking it down. I thought this was a free country. Guess what...whether you know it or not I just got flagged for saying that. I might as well be wearing a black ski mask and hoodie as far as some people are concerned, and besides being a pain in the ass, it truly breaks my heart. Maybe you think I'm just a "crazy truther" or I've run out of Reynols Wrap, or you're hearing the Looney Tunes theme in your head. I get it. It's your call, and I defend your right to make it.
 I'm a guy who loves family, country and apple pie. I abhor violence. I'd NEVER harm another living creature besides roaches, mosquitoes and fleas. I'll drop what I'm doing to help a complete stranger, and blah-blah, but now I'm actually considered a te**o*ist. Are you kidding? People are oblivious to the fact that some people are in a war, and it's because we CARE, dammit. The truth will come out. No two ways about it. The kicker here is that the longer you ignore it, the harder it will hit you, and I say that totally out of pure love and concern. The truth has a way of biting you on the ass sometimes. That's beyond dispute.
 It's sad that the tumbleweeds are blowing through my YouTube feed, but that's not all that's tumbling. YouTube has shot about a third of its foot off, and they don't even care. Soon enough it will be a good thing, at least for a while, because people will move on to other platforms where they can express ideas without having to worry about some "algorhythm." If you think I'm talking about crazy stuff just because I can, you'd be wrong, but again, you should be willing to defend my right to do so. All of this persecution under the guise of "fake news" is really sending you a message. Maybe you should listen. Have a nice day.

How I Got an Early Grip on the Concept of Real Bullshit, with Bonus Lesson in Stage-Fright Control

[NOTICE: I do NOT advocate the use of discrimination, intolerance, violence, force or hate speech toward barbershop quartets.]
 I learned some valuable lessons in school, but they weren't all in class. By senior year in high school I'd become an insane person, although I still made good grades and all and I didn't ever get into trouble. That was only because I didn't get caught, but still I never got hit with anything more than having to stay after class a time or two.
 I was in the Key Club junior and senior year, and right before graduation we spent a weekend in Mobile, Alabama for the annual convention. A couple of friends and I put together a band for the talent competition. The show itself, and the whole weekend in fact were some of the wildest times in my entire life, and two extremely important things happened. Our band played in front of a huge crowd, so any stage fright I may have potentially had was completely cured forever on my first big gig, and I learned the concept of bullshit. The stage fright thing was nice but the bs thing was a tough lesson to learn. At least it only took once.
 The band was my friend Billy Steiner and Alan Hunter, who went on to be a charter veejay on MTV. We got together and actually wrote some songs. My very first real band played all-original music. I've always gotten a kick out of that. One song was called "Chewing Gum," so we named the band "The Bazooka Boogies." I thought it was a great name and it really fit the deal. We were about to finish school and go our separate ways and it was a one-shot thing anyway. We worked hard to make it sound good, but we wanted the entertainment factor to be high too. We put these crazy outfits together with a bit of tailoring help from our moms. I had a canary yellow polyester shirt with 10" collars. I also had black poly pants with massive bell-bottoms, a huge green tuxedo sash and white patent leather boots (that's correct) that we wore for a short time in the marching band. It was beyond Disco.
 We had the tunes down. We did three songs I think for the talent program. We had a couple of bouncy, Rock/Funk things and the chewing gum song in 6/8, which is like a Blues Waltz. That song was basically just a chorus and a bridge but it was no problem. I still remember the lyrics, which got a little dark (but funny) in the bridge, but I'm already rambling so I won't go into it. We had some dramatic stops and things like that. For kids who hadn't played much in bands it was surprisingly polished and crowd-ready. We were fired up.
 The show was Sarturday night so we had Friday night to set up and have a dress rehearsal. It was a statewide convention and I don't know how many schools were represented but it was a lot. Most of them sent an entry into the Key Club Sweetheart pageant, and at least half put something together for the talent show. That night was a bit like a movie. Everyone was milling about on the huge stage in the auditorium. We were all in our little groups; going through our routines. We were the only band, and just seeing a drum kit set up was exciting for some people. I know it was for me, and it was my kit. We talked to most of the other people. They were asking us all about our "band," which technically didn't exist. It was great.
 Then things got a bit serious. Four guys in coats and ties walked up and politely but rather stiffly introduced themselves. They were a barbershop quarted. I suppose we all stifled a snicker...I can't remember, but a barbershop quartet? Back then it was super-dorky. They walked away and then we got the poop on them. They were connected to the founder's grandfather's uncle or some shit like that, so they'd won the previous three years and apparently were a shoe-in to win this year too. I shrugged that off, since I figured that there hadn't been any Bazooka Boogies the past three years for them to go up against, and it was just a question of how hard and how far we'd knock them out of the winner's circle. However, as I said, I learned a lesson that night.
 It was time for a run-through and we took turns going through our things. There were all kinds of different routines and everybody clapped and cheered for each other. When the four guys did their thing it was really more polite, and somehow "required" applause. I mean, come on...a barbershop quartet? It was dry. We played last, and when we finished everyone went nuts. Everyone but the guys in coats and ties. All the other kids were slapping us on the back and laughing and having a big time, but the four guys in the suits went off into a corner to talk amongst themselves. They weren't amused. It was classic.
 It was held at their school so they were on their turf. I remember it was weird...people were talking in oddly-quiet tones about how it was rigged and they were going to win no matter what and things like that like it was just a given. I wish I could remember how the four guys were tied in with the school or whatever it was, but I didn't pay much attention back then. I didn't think nepotism or anything like that could play a part.
 We didn't set out to go down there and kick everybody's ass or anything like that, but it was obvious after the rehearsal that we had the most energy going. Everybody else loved it and they didn't have a problem with us. We didn't cop an attitude or anything. We just wanted to have fun, and hopefully have it sound good. They had four-part harmony but we had a three-piece Rock & Roll band, and most of the audience was kids. Come on...rock band, or...barbershop quartet? They were going to win? I laughed at the notion. Boy, was I naive.
 I remember feeling bad for them. This wasn't going to be their year. They were coming into it thinking they'd already won ahead of time, but we were going to mop the floor with them. Music should never be a contest, only that's what it said on the sign. What were we supposed to do...hold back? Oh, right, Biff...you'll be singing Barbershop at University next year. This is your last talent show, and so far it's been a dynasty for you. This was to be your crowning glory...oops. Sorry, guys...but we must rock. As we were leaving to go hit Dauphin Island (really, it hit us) with a bottle of 151 and a sweet bag of Colombian Red, we were still grinning.
 The next night things were different. We walked in from backstage and a huge curtain was drawn. I couldn't see the audience but I could tell there were lots of people. It hit me that I was about to play in front of all of these people, and my stomach turned a flip. I peeked out through the side of the curtain and sure enough there were at least 450 people in the audience. I guess it could've gone either way, because some musicians in all levels become completely incapacitated by stage fright, which can happen at any time, but I've never really been that way, and I figured it'd be a good trial by fire. It was also the first time I'd ever felt a rush of energy that you couldn't see but certainly could feel, and realized that if you took that energy and gave it right back to the crowd they'd send it back squared, and it made this intense, energy/feedback loop. I'd heard about the effect from reading magazines or whatever, but feeling it for the first time was a trip.
 We put on our sunglasses and at the last minute I put about ten pieces of bubblegum in my mouth. It seemed appropriate. Billy and Alan were doing the singing so I figured I'd blow bubbles. Like the rehearsal it was agreed we'd go on last. The quartet was originally supposed to go on last, but they didn't want to go on after us and I couldn't blame them. I knew if the rehearsal and the reaction of our peers was any indication, the crowd would probably really like us, and they did. Back then a bunch of kids who were good enough to have a band; much less be entertaining, wasn't as common as it is today.
 The quartet went on and did their bit. It sounded...you know...like a barbershop quartet. They were tight and polished and they obviously took it very seriously. They finished with "Coney Island Baby" or whatever and got a nice round of applause. They did a bow and went offstage and into a secluded corner to watch us. They were the only four people in the room who never at least smiled. Everyone else was digging on it but it looked painful for them. We didn't let that bother us though and we nailed it. Billy was grooving on guitar and Alan was standing up and dancing around behind  a baby grand, and I was digging on the natural reverb and drumming away in drummer heaven and blowing big bubbles.
 We finished with our big hit "Chewing Gum." Now that I think about it the bridge section was a total freakout. I don't think it even had a time signature, but it did have a series of dramatic stops. It was a bit like a cross between Colonel Bruce Hampton and Captain Beefheart (may they respectfully RIP). For high school kids it wasn't bad. It was still "poppy" and the audience was right there with us. The tension built as the pitch went up. The guy in the tune was driving through town and saw his girlfriend crossing the street ahead. Sadly he blew a big bubble and it popped and stuck to his face and...well, it wasn't pretty. Just before the last stop I blew a bubble almost as big as my head and popped it with a drumstick on the beat. It popped and stuck to my face. Everybody went nuts, incluing us, because it wasn't planned. Actually there were four people in the room who didn't go nuts. Yep, you guessed it. Barbershop quartet.
 There were several teachers or parents or whomever who were acting as judges. They looked worried but at the time I didn't know why. They did. They had a problem on their hands and they already knew it. That the quartet was going to win was set in stone, even though they knew we were going to go over better. I hadn't figured it out yet but the vibe was really creepy when ordinarily it shouldn't have been, and I knew something didn't seem right. Supposedly they were going by crowd response, and it should've been no contest. They didn't need "judges" to begin with. Ears don't lie. When those guys finished they got a very nice round of applause but when we finished they went berserk. They were yelling for an encore but we didn't know any more songs. The crowd certainly didn't yell for more (ahem) barbershop quartet tunes.
 I was waiting for the guy to hand us the trophy, but the judges were pretending that it'd been too close to call, and they needed another "clap count." Really? I thought maybe they were just deef or stupid as fuck or something but I wasn't worried about a recount. So they got us both back up onstage and the announcer said "Elite Meat Barbershop Quartet" or whatever it was, and the crowd cheered. Then the guy said "Bazooka Boogies" and again the crowd went nuts. It wasn't close, but the quartet won. For the first time since we met them they smiled, and walked up to accept the trophy, as was apparently meant to be. All was A-OK in the Meat Elite's world, but this time the applause was much more subdued. Everybody knew they'd just been had.
 Our mouths dropped open and so did a lot of others, but some people had a depressed, "Told you so" look on their faces. I got it right then. We were shocked, but it only took about three seconds for it to sink in. The system was rigged. It was all bullshit. The four guys lit up and were acting like four Miss Americas or something. It was a sad joke but we got it. We were the punchline. It wasn't like we didn't know about bullshit, but not on that level. That was the very institution entrusted with upholding ethics, not trashing them. It was shocking, but it needen't have been. Comparing a Rock band to a vocal group is apples and oranges anyway, and we didn't think we were "better." It was the principle. Speaking of, I guess he was in on it too. The whole gnarly bunch should have been fired.
 Those fucks didn't give a damn about what was right. They only cared about what they wanted to be right, and screw the truth. For a second I was almost waiting for someone to call a foul but I realized it wasn't going to happen. Sure it wasn't like an earthshaking thing, but this was a prestigious school with a very good reputation. They were saying "Fuck you" to the truth right in front of everybody. They didn't care about honor or justice or working hard to earn something or any of that trivial stuff. Life was just a game to them, and they were cheaters. It hit me that there was nothing more than elitist family "honor" or some shit like that. Yes, it was at a high school, but I knew that it had to be widespread if it'd gotten down to that level. What would happen when you add millions of dollars to the equation?
 All in all it was wild to experience two major milestones in my life within half an hour. What are the odds? I lost a good chunk of my innocence that night, but also any potential future stage fright. There were four guys acting like a load of clowns; like they'd actually won something. It was incredible. We picked up our jaws off the floor and looked at each other silently, like "Lesson learned." It wasn't like we were from the wrong side of the tracks. We lived in a fairly exclusive neighborhood, but we still had a trace of scruples. Over our way, if you won you won fair and square...not because you were supposed to. It took time, but it opened my eyes to the bullshit early, and I'll always be grateful. Enjoy your hollow "victory," Meat Street Elite Barbershop Quartet, or whoever you were. In the world called "reality," we smoked you. We stole your lunch money. What did you win? You cheated. It wasn't real. Welcome to the world.