Actually this wasn't an earthshattering prediction at all, and I didn't need a crystal ball or anything. Any Frank Zappa fan who heard about this curious incident back in the day could've predicted the same thing. In fact it was almost a given that Frank would get a kick out of it and write a song about it. Still it was cool that it happened, and even for Frank, it's pretty extreme.
Frank always took great interest in quirky events of the day and institutions like organized religion and politics and would make songs about them. Let's just say his satire could be brutal. He's been gone for over a quarter-century but I still miss him, and every time something crazy happens I can't help but wonder what he'd say about it.
Back in high school in 1975 I read an article about some guy in Illinois named Michael Kenyon, who plead guilty to several armed robberies, mostly of coeds at a local college. What was unusual was that he tied a few of them down and gave them enemas. As wrong as that is on so many levels, the first thing that popped into my head was "Wait until Frank hears about this. There's a song imminent." I hate ANY abuse, but at least no one got seriously hurt, and the circumstances were extraordinary.
Sure enough, Frank turned it into a song within a couple of months and played it live that same year, and it debuted on vinyl a couple years later on the eagerly awaited
Live in New York LP. Back then it was a big deal when an album like that came out, and a bunch of us got together for a listening party.
We just about lost it when we saw that Frank had somehow gotten Don Pardo...the Don Pardo, to announce the tune. Seeing Don in a sequined cape...announcing in one of the most iconic voices in history, a song about a guy who randomly gave enemas to women was surreal. Apparently the incident hit Frank's funny bone in a big way, and only Don would do to announce it. That was Frank.
As it turns out, Don was a big Zappa fan, and they became buddies. I don't know the story, but this warms my heart. I'll say RIP to Don and Frank, and I truly hope they are resting in peace. It was a pairing I'd never have guessed, and I'm glad it's on a record.
Don's incredible introduction aside, as is usual for Frank's music, the song itself is kickass. It's basically a slow, 6/8-time Blues/Shuffle thing, but like a lot of his music it has permutations and stuff, such as straight-against-swung, double-time and whatnot. If he'd written normal lyrics it could've been a mainstream hit, but especially among Zappa fans it was a hit because of the lyrics.
As far as Mr. Kenyon is concerned, he was sentenced to 6-12 years but was paroled after six. What's interesting was that he was only prosecuted for the robberies. Giving enemas to random women wasn't covered under any laws, or as Don boomingly announced: "APPARENTLY THERE WAS NO LAW AGAINST THAT." Classic. We love you, Don!
Nothing has been heard from Mr. Kenyon since his release that I know of, but according to Wiki he's still alive, and almost 80. As far as I know he was never interviewed and asked what he thought about Zappa writing a song about him that was heard all around the world. That'd be a score for Zappa fans. I'm tempted to try to look him up but I won't. Wiki says that other artists did songs about him too. Nice. What a thing to be famous for.
It didn't take a brain strain to predict that Zappa would take an interest in the subject and probably do a song about it. I know some of my friends like Champ, Steg and George from California, along with Zappa fans worldwide who heard about the story, predicted it too probably. You can listen to it
HERE. It's pretty special.
As the late, great Don Pardo announced, just before they launched into the song, "HIS NAME LIVES ON FOREVER-EVER-VER-R...MICHAEL-ICHAEL-CHAEL-AEL-EL-L KENYON-ENYON-YON-N...THE ILLINOIS-LINOIS-NOIS-OIS-IS-S...ENEMA-NEMA-MA BANDIT-ANDIT-IT-T." Amen to that, and thanks Don and Frank!
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