The Saddest Fireworks in History

An article on my homepage caught my eye. It said something about an MLB team getting roasted for having a lame fireworks display on opening day. Not being a fan of lame fireworks displays and wondering who it was, I clicked, and dang if they weren't right. That's by far the lamest fireworks "display" I've ever thought about seeing. It's shameful.

 I can't recall ever seeing anything like this, and to think it's opening day for a major league baseball game. It's beyond lame...it's weird. It's hard to use the word "display," but I've seen bigger ones at kindergarten parties. I've shot way bigger displays than this indoors. I'm certainly not surprised that they got "roasted," but it's so damn weird that it's almost like a conspiracy theory or something. 

 This was the Cubs' home opener, and as the players were introduced to the crowd, these two little black boxes shot out sparks less than ten feet into the air. I don't know whom they thought they'd impress with that impotent salvo, but it's laughable. I could've done a better job with $50 worth of roman candles. They might as well have had kids in Cubs uniforms waving sparklers at the players. It'd have been much more impressive, and a lot cuter. And brighter. And a lot less lame.

 The Cubs couldn't spring for some decent fireworks? It's opening day, seen 'round the world, and this is all they got? They sell stuff that's fifty times that intense at roadside stands. They couldn't have sent the bat boy out to one of them with the petty cash? Cubs fans take their baseball very seriously, and I'd imagine that extends to the quality of a fireworks "display" too. 

 It's almost like they wanted to get laughed at. I'm honestly a little miffed. As I was clicking on the article I was thinking: "How lame could it possibly be?" I don't shock easily but I was bamboozled.  Holy moly...I really don't get it. They can't spend the price of two tickets plus hot dogs and a couple of beers on the opening day fireworks display? It's a total disgrace. No respect. Where's your dignity?