I've told this story a million times but it applies, and I'm proud of myself for sticking to something I decided to do in around second grade. I saw the prototypical class bully talking down to some kid...telling him he was stupid and he was this and that.
It wasn't rocket science (SCIENCE) but I knew immediately that the kid being talked-down to was a good guy, and the bully was the one with the problem. I decided right then that I'd never treat anyone with disrespect, and I've held that policy until today, even with people who've repeatedly disrespected me. I won't lower myself.
Without exception I've found that when you call them out on their behavior, they have answers. They know they're being disrespectful, which in their minds is somehow acceptable, and they know that some people will call them on it, so they're ready.
They use the standard tactic from the Narcissist's Handbook, using projection and trying to make it seem like their disrespect is magically your problem. Speaking of magic, the clinical term for how narcissists think is called "magical thinking." I love that. It's worth studying just to learn all the crazy yet official terms for the traits that all narcissists share, such as "Flying Monkeys," "supply" and "narcissistic rage" for starters.
They'll try to tell you that you're making things up or you're tripping or whatever, and my favorite- "You're too sensitive." In their skewed way of thinking, it's perfectly okay to treat someone like shit, and if they protest, they aren't tough enough or whatever. Wrong. It's not like you run off crying or anything, and at the end of the day you have to feel sorry for them because deep down they're miserable, angry and empty, and usually evil to some degree, which is where the sadness comes in. You have empathy for them that they're incapable of having for you.
You can't feel sorry for them for very long though, because they still know how they're acting, and they still know right from wrong. It's their choice to treat you like shit. It's one thing to treat people with disrespect, but it's another thing entirely for them to somehow justify their behavior, let alone try to make it your fault. That's a huge red flag, and someone to avoid if at all possible.
At the very least, to most people who don't know what NPD is, they come off as total assholes. Since they possess no empathy and can't put themselves into anyone else's shoes, they don't understand the fact that people think they're assholes. Most people know that disrespect isn't how normal people treat others, but in the narcissist's mind, they somehow think they're winning, by hurling insults and put-downs, just like an angry, spoiled child, which they truly are at their core. A brain that doesn't develop empathy can't develop in other areas, so parts of their brains never mature past about second-grade level. It's freaking crazy...look into it.
Anyway there's a hell of a lot to it and as brutal and evil as it is it's also fascinating...just to know that there are people who are wired that way. It explains a lot of bad behavior. We all meet people who talk down to us. The best plan is to avoid them but it's not always possible if they're your boss or in your immediate circle or an ex you share custody with. In those cases, when it happens, there's no reason to let it even bother you. They're the miserable ones. They're the bullies from second grade. You're cool.
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