When dad had a stroke 15 years ago, he'd been so healthy...still driving and flying his own plane, and even doing the occasional Architecture gig, since he never officially retired, and worked well into his 70s. Rather than put him in a home, which I couldn't do, I decided to look after him until he got better.
He'd been so incredibly healthy up until than that we hoped he'd make a full recovery but he never got back to normal, so what I hoped would be six months or a year of looking after him turned into 13. My mom was in the middle of getting hip and shoulder replacement surgeries and had gotten one hip done, but decided to cancel the rest of the surgeries so she wouldn't have to be away for months at a time, so she sort of came with the deal. Lately I've been putting in easily 16 hours a day with her.
The irony is, besides the fact that some people don't consider what I do as being "work" at all, even though it's harder than any ten jobs I've ever done put together, is that if I'd been doing this for anyone other than my folks, I'd have been paid an incredible amount of money, and with a smart investment or two I could retire and live comfortably, which is as it should be. Instead I'm penniless. Let's figure out a rough and extremely conservative estimate of what I'd have been paid, shall we?
15 years times 365 equals 5,475 days. Although my workdays are typically 12-16 hours long, maybe more, and I'm on call 24/7, let's just call it ten hours per day, to make figgerin' easier. That equals 54,750 hours. Although I'd have been paid much more, and would've certainly gotten various benefits, especially as time went on, let's just say I made $10 an hour. Very conservatively I'd have made about $540,750, and it could've gone as high as double that.
Even with zero training in medical tech or caregiving I could've still done it, and if I'd gotten certified in CPR and such, which I would've done, I'd have made much more than $10 an hour. Anyone who's willing to cook for someone, do some laundry and such and be willing to provide companionship can get a gig easily. When I worked at the crazy restaurant we were located right in the middle of one of the wealthiest areas in the Southeast, and people were swimming in family money.
I was good at what I did and I truly enjoyed interacting with people, and there were lots of customers who requested me. Most of the families had older members, and they appreciated the way I treated them. There were several older people who had people looking after them who were very well-paid. They'd have hired me in a heartbeat. In fact I befriended several elderly people who loved the restaurant so much that they came in, often in wheelchairs, until they absolutely couldn't get around any more and had to be put in a nursing home, and I'd go to where they were and take them their favorite meals.
I buddied-up with an elderly gentleman named Mr. Parker. I'd dated his granddaughter Bradford. She was a little firecracker, and it's a small world. After he was put into the home, at least once a week after a lunch shift, me and my buddy Tut would load up his favorite meal- a bowl of Oyster-Artichoke Soup, a slice of Chocolate Chess Pie, a cup of coffee and a gin and tonic, and take it to him.
The first time we showed up was pretty funny. Tut didn't smoke but I'd gotten high as a kite on the way to the home. The staff was curious as to what we'd brought, so I started opening the containers. "Mr. Parker, here's your soup, here's you pie, here's your coffee and..." I stopped when I got to the drink. One of the nurses picked it up, opened it and took a whiff. "Whoa" he said. "You trying to get my boy drunk?" "No, man...just a little tipsy" I replied. "Well," he said, "I guess I can look the other way, but I never saw what was in that cup, okay?" he said. "What cup?" I replied. Mr. Parker laughed. Classic.
I could've sent them a bill, but of course it never crossed my mind. They were very wealthy and probably would've given me whatever I'd have asked, but that wasn't the deal. The smile on Mr. Parker's face and the gratitude from his family was payment enough. When Bradford's mom found out what I was doing, she told Bradford that she thought I'd hung the Moon. That meant a lot to me, and was worth more than any paycheck.
So, yeah...you do things purely out of love sometimes, and I never expected to be paid a penny for looking after my parents, but if it'd been anyone else I'd have bank right now. I could have a decent crib, the drum kit of my dreams and a nice van to take it to gigs in. I get couldda, wouldda, shouldda, and that "close" only counts in Horseshoes and hand grenades, but what I'm saying is true.
I really got double-whammied, because during these 15 years of working for free, I also put my life on hold, and gave up doing what made me happy, and paid the bills no problem, with plenty left over, but that's yet another story. It's funny...if I'd done this amount of work for people I wasn't related to I'd have made easily over half a mil, but since I did it for my family, I'm penniless. It's rather ironic. Respect your elders, and have a nice day.
No comments:
Post a Comment