If he were talking to a woman, be it a date, a potential date, a one-night-stand or just some random girl, I'd go over and talk him up. I'd say whatever I could think of to make him look good, and I did it every time. Frankly, for him to be with a woman was a bit rarer than it was for me, so I wanted to give him all the help I could. He'd soak it right up.
So if I were with a woman, how did he treat me? You'd think he'd return the favor, right? You'd think, but no. He'd come over, say hi, and almost immediately launch into some very embarrassing and very personal story about me. I'm not talking about some crazy story that maybe made me look goofy but was still funny, because that's okay. I mean stuff you'd never tell anyone yourself. It was bad.
Now I can take a joke with the best of them. I call myself a dumbass and talk about stupid shit I do all the time. If you can't laugh at yourself, you're truly an asshole. However, some stuff is just too personal to share, but share he did. He thought it was funny, but he'd be the only one laughing. The truth is, even most third-graders know that when someone has to put someone else down to try to make themselves feel better, they're pretty pathetic on the inside.
In his mind he made himself look good in front of the woman, by making me look bad, but in reality all he was doing was showing how sad and immature he really was. It was truly uncomfortable for everyone but him, which made it stand-out even more. I guess he thought maybe the girls would think he was cool or whatever, but they couldn't wait for him to leave. Invariably they'd make a face like they'd just stepped on a slug, and say "What's HIS deal?" "He's one of those people who gets his jollies by putting people down" I'd say. "That's sad" they'd say. "Yep."
When I'd call him on it, he'd say it was a "joke." I'd remind him that, even if a joke was pointed at someone, and made them look less than perfect, as long as it was funny and not personal, and shared by all, then it was a good joke. A joke at someone's expense isn't a joke at all. It's utter disrespect, and people who can't show respect for others have no respect for themselves.
Maybe he couldn't grasp the idea that a "joke" should be shared, but he'd completely ignore it, and resort to name-calling. He'd say I was being a "pussy," as if I couldn't take a "joke." I don't think it's being a pussy to ask someone to please not share personal information. There's a million stories about me that he could've told, even ones where I did stupid shit galore that would've been fine, and actually funny, like "He nearly blew his balls off with an M-80," or "He set the stage on fire at the Supper Club," or "He jumped a Buick at 120mph on Brookwood," or "He played drums naked at a gig in South Carolina," or any number of fun stories, but he'd hit below the belt, and then call me a pussy. I don't know about that, but I do know what nearby part of the anatomy he was being.
Did I ever think about giving him a taste of his own medicine? Sure I did, but that would've meant that I'd have had to lower myself to his level, and thankfully that's never been my gig. Did he ever take a lesson from how I treated him? I reckon not. I know he thought his jive was working, because, with the exception of my last one (smart), he hit on pretty much every woman I dated for longer than about two weeks, multiple times. They'd tell me that he acted almost like he expected it, and sure enough he'd tell more "jokes" about me. Did it work? In his mind maybe, but let's just say that nary a one of them ever dated him, even years down the road.
I'm not saying for a second that I'm perfect. I can be a narcissistic asshole and a complete dick, but not as a habit. At least I didn't stoop to the level of his bullshit. If nothing else but selfish reasons, I know how it'd make me look to others if I treated someone that way, but people who do that for some reason don't get it. More than that of course is that you just shouldn't treat people like that. The "Golden Rule" is here for a reason. Plus I can absolutely guarantee that if I had done it to him, he'd have completely lost his shit, and I know that from experience...lots of experience. In other words yo, he can dish it out but he can't take it.
When it came to talking to gals at gigs, one of the ways we treated each other was different from the other one. I talked him up, and he talked me down. There's a difference. One of us was an asshole. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, and have a nice day.
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