Me and Lisa in Hearts

Back in high school I loved to play Spades, and I also got into Hearts. Sometime I play online just to keep my chops up, should I run into some card-playing humans one day. I have a unique strategy in Hearts that's exactly opposite from the way most people play. It's risky but the payoff is big. I'm a different drummer, and I march to myself.  

 I like this one site because some of them will slant the odds, usually so you win more often, but this site is even-Steven odds. They give you and your virtual opponents avatars. I decided to play a few hands today, and I saw they'd given us some cute little Santa hats for the holidays. Nice.

 As you can see I decided to make myself black. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that every time I sit down to play drums I wish I were black, but in any case I'm a groovy brother. 

 

I don't know if it's the Santa hat that finally did it, but I began to take a closer look at the female opponent, Lisa....her golden hair...those eyes...and that smile. I realized I was getting a cartoon-boner for her. I think my avatar wants to go out with her.

 I already try to keep from dumping the queen on her, and I try to hose the other two players, Mike and Bill, but I think it's turned into more. I think I have feelings for her. I think she's stolen my heart, as it were. 

 I wonder how to break the ice with a cartoon. I wonder if she's into black guys. I wonder if I should tell her I'm really a Caucasian. Maybe she already has a boyfriend, but I doubt it's Bill or Mike. They're goobers. What to do? Cartoon-love is so confusing.