All In

The term "all in" has been a popular catchphrase for a while. I usually don't start using catchphrases until they're at least a decade out of style, on purpose, but when it comes to my faith in God I'm all in. 

 There's a book that says there will come a time when our faith will be severely tested, and perhaps that time is now. Speaking for myself, my faith has been extremely tested, and I know it hasn't been tested all it's going to be, but I think I passed the test.

 Sometimes part of my brain thinks that's absurd to believe in something we can't see, but that doesn't last very long. I also question things like how could a loving God allow this or this to happen, but that's trying to put a deity into human terms of how we think and why we do the things we do, and that's not how it works. 

 Interestingly a couple days ago and out of the blue I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. It was someone I knew as a kid but haven't spoken with in half a century. She had no idea why, but she felt that God had "led" her to call me. She knew nothing about my situation. 

 We talked for almost two hours but it seemed like half an hour maybe. As it turns out she'd looked after her folks too, for six years. She'd been through what I've just gone through, with a few notable differences. She had her brother helping regularly, and they could afford to have regular help in the form of nurses who'd come by for 6-7 hours every day, to give them a break. She was able to take breaks once a month or so, for up to five days at a time. That must've been nice.

 With her brother helping and nurses coming by, she was only "on the clock" for eight hours or so a day. I had no such help and my days were 16-18 hours long. I never got a single day off. Even with regular time off and vacations, it still took her down physically, mentally and spiritually. She literally couldn't believe I'd never had a break, and she too believes it's by the Grace of God I didn't completely lose my shit. She did it for six years. I did it for sixteen. 

 It did me a world of good to be able to talk to someone who'd been through the same thing. Oh, and she was married to a narcissist for many years. Small world. It was weird how much we have in common, and we didn't know a thing about each other's situation. She told me about times when she believes that God opened doors for her, and it was pretty remarkable. Her timing couldn't have been more perfect, and I needed to hear what she had to say. But it's just a coincidence, right?

 It would be hard for me not to believe in God after my encounter with a pack of wild dogs many years ago, and seeing, or thought I was seeing an angel who stood between the dogs and me, and kept me from being a midnight snack. As crazy as it sounds to most people, an angel protecting me is the only logical explanation I can see as to why the dogs couldn't go the last 15' between us, to eat me. 

 I was absolutely certain that it was my last night on Earth, and that a pack of wild dogs was about to rip me to shreds. My hair was standing up and I was praying for God to forgive my sins and accept me into His kingdom, and instead of freaking out and being terrified I was totally at peace. Fight-or-flight had kicked in to the max and I should've been as freaked out as I'd ever been in my life, yet I was completely unafraid. How do you explain that? You can't, at least not by how most people think. 

 I'm much more frightened by my upcoming situation in fact than I was the night I was certain that I was about to become dog food. I also don't have the same sense of peace that I had that night, but as of yet I haven't totally lost it. No matter what happens I'll never turn my back on God. Never. I'm all in.

 
 

Friends/Not Friends

I'm in dire straits, and I don't mean that Mark Knopfler is getting the band back together and has asked me to play drums. I wish.

 In a couple of weeks I'll be homeless. I wish it were a joke but it's not. With all of this, plus just losing a BFF and for all practical purposes my mom, I think it's literally by the grace of God that I haven't lost what's left of my sanity. I'm not very happy right now, but that's the way the cookie crumbles...that is unless you get the soft-baked kind.

 Yet again I'll say that I've been incredibly blessed by my friends, and I've bragged on them all my life. If I had a dollar for every time I've thanked God for them I'd have a few grand in my pocket, which at this point would really help. They really do care about me, as I do them, and they've been offering suggestions and whatnot, and trying to help in any way they can. Thank you God. There's another imaginary dollar.

 At the same time there are also a few people I know personally who'll be thrilled to know this. They're the type of people who get off on the suffering of others. It's hard to imagine people who are truly that sick, pathetic and evil, but they exist, and I know a few.

 The issue for them is that if the biblical narrative is true, and there's a 50-50 chance it is, then the afterlife isn't going to be kind to them at all, whether they believe it or not. I don't wish bad things on them at all, and I believe that judgement isn't my business. I don't hate them, and as hard as it is to do I've forgiven them. Having hate in your heart will eat you alive. Maybe I'm about to be homeless, but at least I don't get off on other people's pain. It's evil. I got news for you...that's the Devil right there. Stay safe and God bless.
 

A Few Things I Care About

We all go through tough stuff, and my problems aren't special, but I did get hit with a bunch of shit at once, and it's not over yet. I'm looking down the barrel of being homeless in a couple of weeks, and that's not good. I've never been in this boat before, and I haven't read Handbook for the Homeless. 

 Although a few people don't think it counts for much, I've looked after my folks for the last 16 years and just like that it's over. I put aside my way of making income and doing what I enjoy for the sake of others, and while I did make some money from my products, even in 2020, it dwindled down to nothing. 2023 was the first year since I got my first job at 15 that I didn't make a penny from selling my stuff or playing music or anything else, and it flipped me out. 

 An old song says: "I beg your pardon...I never promised you a rose garden." True that. Life, the Universe, God...nothing and nobody owe me a damn thing. You'd think Karma might throw me a bone, but I don't think it necessarily works out to be even all the time. A miracle? I'll take it.

 If I have to leave with everything I own in a backpack, or God forbid I croak or get thrown in jail for "hate speech" or whatever other bullshit, I do have a few things left, and a couple of things have value. I'll go through and leave notes on what my instruments and things are worth, and there's some "artwork" that's okay, but to me there's only a few things I really care about. Obviously El Doggo is #1.

 This is a Peace Lily that I rescued from our old home. It's at least 40 years old. Over the years it grew from a 6" seedling into a massive plant that fills three pots. I trimmed it up and it's not so huge. Anything that's been around that long means something to me, especially with plants. 

 I hope the plants will mean enough to someone that they'll take them. BTW if I don't get around to it, the two other cuttings besides this one need to be repotted with fresh soil. No Miracle Grow or chemical shit like that please. Thanks so much. 

 I also have a scrawny Mimosa tree that I planted as a seedling about three years ago. They don't like being replanted and the leaves turned yellow and the branches fell off. I never dug it up but I thought it was dead. It was a bare twig, and I left it outside all that Winter, and never watered it or anything. The following Spring I noticed a green spot on the tip that I thought was a little caterpillar but it was new leaves growing out. 

 I took good care of it and kept it watered, but for some reason the branches have fallen off and regrown four times, and it may be happening again. It's mostly just a curved skinny trunk with a few branches at the top, but it's definitely a survivor.

Here's the pot it's growing in right now. It comes with two free Potheads (Moongazers).  I hope someone will at least replant it somewhere if need be. Thanks.

 The last thing is my fish. I have a 5.5 gallon jar with a couple of these guys along with some Cherry Shrimp. They're called Asian Stone Catfish or Moth Catfish, and they're the smallest known catfish. They're rare, since the only come from one place, and you never see them in pet stores because unlike tropical fish, which need temps of 78-80F, these are coldwater fish, and need temps of around 65-70F. 

 They're cool little fish. They're just over an inch long full-grown. They can live up to 7 years or more. These guys are about two years old. Anyone who might take them would probably know a bit about fishkeeping, but it might not be easy to keep the tank from getting over about 70F. I'd hate to see them get flushed down the toilet. That's probably what needs to happen to me, but these fish don't deserve that at all. 

 Hopefully I can find a good home for my dog if I have to, but I wish I could find homes for the plants and fish. I know there are people to whom things like this mean something. Hopefully I can find them. 

. 

 

Nefarious

Last night I watched one of the heaviest movies I've ever seen in my life. The name of the movie is "Nefarious." I knew it was going to be intense but I had no idea. The premise of the movie is nothing new to me, but I'm glad I said a little prayer before I watched it. 

 I've never been into slasher movies and I haven't watched a horror movie since probably The Omen, but to me the movie was brutal. There were some very disturbing scenes near the end, and it would've been just as intense of a movie had they left those scenes out, but it's meant to show the sheer evil and cruelty of the Devil, and bloody Hell if they didn't succeed. The ending was a welcomed relief.

 It centers around a condemned man who's set to be executed, and the psychiatrist who's there to evaluate him. If he's found to be sane, it's over for him but if he's found to be insane, his life will be spared. Oh, and he's also allegedly possessed by a demon. If it were just a movie about a prisoner who's about to die and a shrink, it'd be just plain morbid and depressing. It's the possession thing that's the deal. What's important is that it says that there's an antidote to all this evi, and that God is way more powerful than the Devil, and ultimately we don't need to fear him.

 I watched it on the recommendation of several Catholic priests who are exorcists, and are guests on several YouTube channels I sub to. By the by if you happen to be on the fence about whether or not the Devil is real, you might want to listen to what they have to say about it, and if you want to go deeper, check out what some of the psychologists and psychiatrists who've thoroughly examined some of these people who are deemed to be genuinely possessed have to say.

 Let's just say that before they got into that particular area, most of them didn't believe in God, and certainly not the Devil, but they do now. Understandably many of them don't want to talk about it publicly for fear of hurting their careers, but some of them do talk about it, and you can find them on YouTube if you're interested. I can assure you that even if you doubt the existence of God and Satan, it'll have you at least scratching your head. 

 It was recommended because these priests say from experience that it's the best portrayal of demonic possession they've ever seen. There's no pea soup spewing everywhere or heads spinning around and whatnot that's usually featured in movies that deal with this topic. It relies very little on special effects, but the two instances when they occur are very effective, as when this light bulb shatters, which is "probably just a coincidence," as the prisoner says. 

 For most of the time the demon is speaking through Edward, the condemned man, but sometimes the demon lets Edward come out. It's almost a little cliche to hear the difference- when the demon speaks his voice is clear and rational, but when Edward speaks he becomes childlike, with obvious mental and emotional problems. The part was brilliantly played by Sean Patrick Flanery. 

 There's some "inside information," where the demon says things that reference the Bible, and which only someone who's studied this stuff would know. I'd agree with the priests who recommended this movie...it does seem to be a very accurate portrayal of demonic possession. The demon talks about how we as a society have been desensitized to evil to the point that we don't see it when it's right in front of our faces, and I agree completely.

 Whether or not you believe as I do that it's all by design, and part of Satan's plan, we know for a fact that all of these dark movies, music videos, video games and the like have desensitized us all to evil. It truly blows my mind how most people simply accept it as "entertainment." Some will say that this movie falls into that category but it's a completely different thing. There's a powerful message of hope, and basically the good guys win in the end.

 They bring up a fantastic point that I'd never thought of, and that's that people who are Atheists, and don't believe in the Devil, aren't immune to his influence and can still be harmed. The demon laughs at the fact that Atheists think that not believing in God or Satan makes them immune. Just because we don't believe in something doesn't mean it doesn't exist, and could potentially harm us. What a great point. 

 The movie has been a surprise hit, even among people who don't believe that God and the Devil are real. It's still a very entertaining flick whether you believe or not. I'm sure that some of those people who watch this movie will reexamine their beliefs, but even if they don't believe that the Devil is real, they'll think that if he is real, he's not a very nice guy. Evil is well represented in this movie, and they did an incredible job of it. It restates everything I've learned about the Devil since I was a teenager.

 Aside from the fact that some people love scary movies, why would we want to watch a movie that gets downright gruesome at times? Again, it illustrates the unbridled evil and cruelty of the Devil, and it just might make some people rethink their views. If the Bible is true, isn't it better to be frightened while we're on Earth, rather than for all of eternity? If this earthly life is just the blink of an eye, and eternity is the real deal, then it's a very good thing. This movie will no doubt lead some people to Christ. 

 The thing about how Satan is portrayed in most of these movies, and how Satanist see him, is way different from how he's portrayed in this movie. Satanists believe that God is the bad guy, and Lucifer is "misunderstood" and everything. Interestingly most Satanists know the Bible better than most "Christians," since they recite Bible verses backward.

 It says that Satan is the "father of lies." Apparently they don't believe that part, even though that's the key to the whole thing, and in some people's view, why the world is how it is. The Bible says that for now, the Devil rules this world, and since he's the father of lies, what else should we expect? 

 I've said a million times that I believe that the "Official Narrative" is at least 80% pure bullshit, and the truth is being revealed as we speak, but I support someone's right to believe whatever they wish. It's funny though, how the very same people who tell me not to believe everything I hear on the Internet, as if they think I'm actually that stupid, are the very same people who never have even once questioned the "Official Narrative." I don't think that's healthy.

 Although it's frowned upon these days, we should question EVERYTHING, even our own beliefs. That's what I do, and I've changed my beliefs several times, when new info has been presented. So far though I believe that both God and Satan are very real, and I doubt that belief will change. 

 Unless someone simply can't tolerate things that are evil and gruesome, and good on them, I'd recommend that everyone see this movie. I think it's incredibly well done, and it's quite entertaining. It portrays Satan as a vicious and cruel entity, and not like Satanists see him, as "misunderstood" or whatever. No matter your beliefs, you just might question them after seeing this movie, and again it'll no doubt lead some people to Christ. It's a hell of a ride either way. 

 If you want to watch it it's completely free on several platforms including tubi. You can watch it HERE. Whether we know it or not, and this is if the biblical narrative is real, at some point we'll ALL have to choose between God or Satan, and eternity is a very, very, very long time. Choose wisely my friend. God bless. 

 

 

 

Is Gene Simmons a Good Bass Player? (KISS Stories)

This video popped up in my feed and of course I had to click. I had a feeling Page's views would be favorable, and according to Simmons they were. Page went to see KISS several times when they played shows in England, and they became friends. According to Simmons, who used the term "Hand to God," Jimmy Page said "Mate, you could give John Entwistle a run for his money." That's fairly high praise.

 I've had two experiences with KISS, including seeing them live back in 1975 and actually getting to meet them earlier that year, although I didn't know at first. I've told this story before but as always, who cares?

 I was flying back on the redeye from DC, with a 45-minute layover at the Atlanta airport. From a long way away I saw four guys walking in like they owned the place. They were dressed in leather, studs, t-shirts and 4" heels. I knew they had to be in a band, and probably a big one, although I had no idea who they were. 

 It was the early hours of the morning and the airport was almost deserted, but they walked straight over to me and sat down. "Cool" I thought. Two of the guys were laughing and cutting up and I was guessing they'd imbibed on the flight. As you might guess, they turned out to be Peter Criss and Ace Frehley, which I found out later. 

 One of them, Paul Stanley in fact, sort of kept to himself, and one of them, who turned out to be Gene Simmons, struck up a conversation. He had a thick New York accent but otherwise he was so friendly and engaging that he could've been a Southerner. "Okay, at least this guy is cool" I thought.

 We talked for a good half-hour about music, girls, touring and such. Mr. Simmons was humble and friendly, and except for his outfit, didn't give off the "Rock Star" vibe like the other guys did. He said they'd just finished a European tour and were on their way to somewhere I can't remember. He didn't mention the name of the band, and I'm pretty sure he knew that I didn't know who they were.

 They hadn't been together very long, and although I'd heard of them and probably should've made the connection earlier, at first it didn't occur to me that it might be KISS. When I became aware of the band I was put off by their looks, and certainly wasn't a big fan. Toward the end of our conversation I started to wonder if maybe that's who they were but I wasn't sure. It would also become a big deal to see them without makeup, although I didn't know that either. 

 At one point Gene asked me if I played an instrument, since I was obviously way into music, and I told him I played drums. "Oh, cool" he said. "This is Peter, our drummer" he said. "Hey Peter! This guy plays drums." "Cool man. It's really nice to meet you" said Peter. We shook hands and then he went back to yukking it up with Ace. "Gotta love drummers" said Gene. "That's what she said" I quipped. "Ha-ha" said Gene. I made Gene Simmons laugh. 

 I was starting to wonder if this was that band who wore makeup and sang about partying all night and whatnot. Sure enough, a voice came over the PA, saying "Will the members of KISS please report to gate such-and-such." They stood up, and the larger-than-life effect of the platform heels made an impression on me. It was almost like they were on stilts, and I marveled at the fact that they could even walk in those things at 6:00 in the morning, especially Ace and Peter. 

 "Ah, well...it's nice to meet you" I said. "You too" said Gene. "Good luck with your music." "Thanks! Y'all too" I replied, although I figured they didn't need any more luck at that point. Gene shook my hand again, and off they went to conquer America or whatever. "Well, that was pretty cool" I thought. "At least one of them was down to earth." 

 A couple weeks later they were playing in town, and my girlfriend got me a ticket as a gag gift for Christmas, which I thought was pretty thoughtful, and funny. She was sure I'd return it and buy a couple of LPs or whatever, but I turned the tables on her and went to the show. I went by myself, and since I didn't know what to expect, I figured I'd get stoned as a rat, so if it sucked, at least I'd be high. I was a "Progressive" nerd and wasn't particularly moved by most of your basic Rock & Roll too much, but I really enjoyed the show and ended up having a blast. It was worth it for the pyrotechnics alone.

 What really blew me away, with all due respect to Peter's drum solo, which was good, was Gene's bass solo. It was monstrous. He was relying heavily on delay, effects and volume, but it was massive. I'd never heard the bass guitar played like that. My girlfriend had gotten me the ticket as a joke and I'd gone to the show as a joke, but I ended up being very glad I went, especially after meeting them in Atlanta, and hearing that bass solo. Maybe it was just the weed but I don't think so. 

 Do I think Gene Simmons is a good bass player? Absolutely. I'm not sure if he's Entwistle-good but he's pretty damn good, and his solo floored me. He was a humble guy too, and that made as much of an impression on me as anything. Some say he's a self-centered prick but that wasn't my experience. Well, that's my KISS story. I'm sure we all have one. 

 

Quote of the Day

"[The entertainment industry] know good and doggone well that God exists. They also know that Satan exists. They're just counting on the fact that y'all don't know that." - Disney star China McClain
 

What VR was Created for

I just read something that truly blew my mind. Whenever a new product comes out, it's usually the result of identifying a need and filling it or seeing a problem and solving it. That goes for "new and improved" too. Sometimes it happens overnight in someone's basement or whatever, but in the case of something as life-changing as Virtual Reality, years of research are involved, and it all starts with identifying the problem.

 Usually the problem is obvious, and it's made public, but in the case of VR glasses, they couldn't state what issues they were trying to fix, for obvious reasons. They wouldn't be good selling points. 

 According to behavioral expert Chase Hughes, VR glasses, specifically the Apple version, was created to solve the problems of loneliness and depression, and as an "anesthetic to reality." That's heavy. It's incredibly sad in a way, but it really did blow my mind to hear it put like that. "Anesthetic to Reality" would make a great title for an album.

 Although I believe that VR is much, much more than just the next logical step in the evolution of video games or whatever, I never thought about it in the terms Chase Hughes mentioned. I think among other things it's a way to distract from God and His creation, and can be traced all the way to the Devil himself. I know that sounds crazy to most people, and as always I could be completely wrong. 

 Sure it'd be cool to don a pair of VR glasses and explore the planets or alien worlds or other things we can't do here on Earth, but when it comes to replacing things on Earth...that's a different story. I think it's great for paraplegics and such, if they're unable to physically get out into the woods or whatever, but no matter how "real" it gets, it could never replace what's already here for the exploring. 

 For years my guys have been saying that one day VR will be preferred over reality by many people, and now we're seeing that happening. I think that's sad, not to mention physically unhealthy, and not just because I'm old and things have changed. 

 I know things were different when I grew up...we didn't have computers and such, and I thank God for that. We did have shrooms and whatnot but for the most part, reality was all we had, and I thought that basically it was pretty cool. Our brains need a connection with Nature, not VR, to operate properly, and that's backed up by science (SCIENCE). 

 Know what else blows my mind? The look on this guy's face. It's a fucked-up look...I can't tell if he's thrilled, shocked, worried, bamboozled, scared shitless or what. It's a weird mix of everything, and it looks like he's about to make a sound like Chewbacca from Star Wars. Maybe it's just me, and my overall caveat for AI in general, but the look on his face is almost disturbing. 

 So, VR was designed to be a cure for loneliness and depression, and as an "anesthetic for reality." Man that's heavy.