Saturday, March 30, 2024

When People Tell the Truth

I love to watch the Behavior Panel on YouTube. Basically they're four body language experts. Two of them were in the military and they all work with the gov't. They analyze footage of famous people or those involved in crimes, looking for possible signs of deception and things like that.

 They all have great personalities, and are very good at what they do. They have a great rapport and it's obvious they're buds. Although body language is very interesting, I'm not really trying to learn all about it. It is nice to learn certain cues that might indicate that someone's lying, but I think a lot of that is stuff we're innately aware of, consciously or not. 

 I wouldn't want to become an expert in body language to the point that when I met someone I'd start analyzing them...that'd interrupt the flow. What I really like about these guys is that they completely understand narcissism, which, having been through it, will fascinate me for the rest of my life. 

 They've done a great service to the few people who pay attention when they talk about someone being a narcissist. They, and others, have pointed out narcissistic traits in people like Amber Heard, Elizabeth Holmes, what'shisfuck...George Santos and many others. Man they tore Santos a new asshole. If you want to get a taste of the behavior panel, and see possibly the greatest liar of our time as well, you can check out the two videos they did on Santos, HERE and HERE. It's incredible.

 Although pointing out deception is their bread and butter, and what gets views on YouTube, they also point out when someone is being truthful, and it's a breath of fresh air. Those same tactics are invaluable to law enforcement in cases when they're interviewing people who may or may not be involved in the disappearance of a loved one.

 Although I've never even tried to make mental notes of anything they say about body language, I've picked up a few things through osmosis, and I bet if I saw one of those interviews I'd have a pretty good idea if they were innocent or guilty. 

 And just for the record, touching your nose after you say something doesn't automatically indicate a lie. You look for baseline behavior when the person is known to be telling the truth, and compare it to when they might be lying. Ideally you want to see several indicators at once, which indicates a very strong chance of deception. 

 We all lie...I've told lies and I'll tell more lies, but I'm not a chronic liar, and I've told the truth many, many times when it got me into trouble or didn't paint me in the best light. I could've lied and no one would've been the wiser but I didn't. They say the truth hurts and they're right, but they also say that the truth will set us free, and to that I say Amen. I'd add yet again that the truth stands alone, and it ALWAYS comes out eventually. The truth isn't always cool these days, but if ever there was a case of "It is what it is," it's the truth. It wins in the end. 

 I think I do pay more attention when they're pointing out things that indicate that someone is being truthful. For instance, in the case of a missing relative when someone who's a person of interest is being interviewed, truthful people will talk about finding that person, show genuine grief, cry real tears and such, while guilty people will usually try to weave a story to show their innocence, and sometimes won't even mention the person's name. A good interviewer knows when someone is guilty even before there's a confession. 

 Chronic liars, aka narcissists, use several tactics in being deceptive, but perhaps the most powerful one is deflection. A truthful person will generally just answer the question, but a liar will try to deflect by changing the subject and not answering the question at all, and it's usually very effective. The interviewer will often go with the new train of thought and forget about the original question, but a good interviewer won't be distracted, and will say something like: "You still haven't answered the question."

 That has the added advantage of rattling the narcissist, by pointing out a tiny flaw. They can't handle it. They'll bring up good things about themselves, true or not, as if they're a good person and could never be involved in anything bad. A truthful person won't care about that. They're only interested in finding the missing person.

 They'll pretend to want to get the person back and to be helpful, but the only signs of grief, concern or worry that you'll see on their faces is for themselves, when it hits them that people aren't buying their bullshit and they're in trouble. They'll talk about how they feel and how it's affected them, while a truthful person will say "Please help us get them back!" They often use my favorite trick of all- fake crying with no tears. That's a very good indication of a narcissist. 

 Although making or breaking eye contact isn't always a sign of truth or deception, a liar will often look away when they tell a lie, but then immediately look at the person to see if they're buying it. There are all sorts of signs of possible deception, and you can look into it if you're interested. 

 Truthful people are generally more relaxed and less fidgety. The hand gestures most of us make when we're illustrating something align perfectly when someone is telling the truth, but can be early or late when someone is lying. That's a fascinating thing to see...it's almost like the video and audio are out of sync. 

  Again I think that at least subconsciously most people know when someone is lying or telling the truth, but it's nice to have things pointed out, since narcissists are extremely good liars...except for Santos. The guys appreciate it when someone is telling the truth. The thing is, once someone has been caught in a lie, it casts doubt on anything they might say in the future. Nobody likes a liar. 

 
 

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