EXTRA, EXTRA: ALIENS BEAM-UP RESIDENTS OF ENTIRE TOWN - 350,000 MISSING...VEGETABLES LEFT BEHIND

This is the zaniest story to come out of North Korea in quite a while. Real info from there can be hard to come by of course, but allegedly this is being broadcast on NK TV as a real event. Smoke 'em if you got 'em, 'cause this is nuts y'all. 

 The story goes that in the city of Wonsan, the entire population of 355,000 just up and vanished overnight, and they say the culprit was a UFO. Interesting. There's a video of the alleged news broadcast, and I'll leave a link. From the relatively-few NK news broadcasts I've seen it looks exactly the same, sort of like American TV-news in the latter-Cronkite era, and legit.

 What lends further credibility that it was a real broadcast is the fact that the footage was covered in a video on YouTube by an alleged NK-defector, Yeonmi Park. If I remember correctly, she and her mother supposedly swam a dangerous river to freedom. Most people would never do that because of what happens to their families left behind. Not only are they punished but so are at least two generations down the road.

 I've been occasionally watching her videos for about three years, and again she seems legit. Of course it could all be pure propaganda, but I tend to doubt that. She certainly takes a different view than the "Official Narrative" coming out of there. Normally she does a commentary but all she did was post the video. If she actually posted it, I'm guessing she'll do a followup. 

This is the image shown at the beginning of the broadcast. The Korean writing for "UFO" is this: 비행접시, so I'm noy sure what these symbols mean. I'm guessing maybe it means "Oh, SHIT!" The shape of the Saucer is interesting. 

It's almost a dead-ringer, as it were, for the German craft Die Glocke, or "The Bell." We know it was built and supposedly it flew. The story, in the Germans' own words, was that it came from "Alien" technology. BTW, did you know that after WW2, hundreds of German scientists were brought to the US, chiefly to work at NASA and other gubmint agencies? They brought not only the avowed "Alien" tech with them, but also their deep "Occult" beliefs. Look it up. See: "Operation Paper Clip." All that shit came over here after the war. 

 The broadcast starts with the reporter taking a bow. She says that Supreme Leader KJU is confounded by a new mystery. She goes on to say that overnight all the residents of the town disappeared, leaving their homes and "many tasty vegetables" (in stores) behind. Also left behind was a noxious smell of rotten eggs. The very next day the regime called for the repopulation of Wonsan, offering free homes and tasty vegetables to new settlers on a first-come-first-serve basis, and within 24 hours the city had new residents. I doubt it was 355,000 new residents overnight, but one never knows when it comes to NK. 

 One woman who was obviously distraught said that she'd gone out of town for a one-day vacation, and when she returned, all the former residents were gone, and someone was already living in her house, and no doubt preparing the tasty vegetables. "Where will I go?" she asked. She said nothing about the UFO. They showed new residents sweeping the streets and planting flowers. There was no footage of people munching the tasty vegetables, which is the first thing I imagine they'd do. The main concern seemed to be getting rid of the smell, rather than the fact that 355K folks disappeared overnight, not to mention they were supposedly abducted by a fucking UFO. One smiling woman said that if they plant enough flowers, it will get rid of the smell.

 The whole thing was treated very matter-of-factly, which further pegged my Bullshitometer. I cracked-up when the newscaster said "We now take you to a 'Disappearance Specialist.'" You could go a lifetime meeting people and asking what they did for a living, and I'd bet nary a one would say "I'm a Disappearance Specialist." That is, anywhere besides NK. I reckon they need that gig over there, what with all the disappearances and such, but I'm surprised the position exists. 

 So the Disappearance Specialist comes on, and here's what he had to say: "I always said Wonsan was plagued with UFOs. Now I'm taken seriously and people are asking for help. I think these people were stolen. Don't worry, it's happened before in other cities. Over time people will arrive and it will be populated again." So, a UFO zaps 355,000 people to God knows where, but don't worry. It's cool. It's happened before." It was like he was saying "I told y'all so," and that's all that mattered. I guess since there was apparently a precedent for entire cities being beamed-up, minus the vegetables, it's nothing to worry about. I guess the Aliens don't care for Earth veggies. Crazy. 

 Several of my YouTube homies have made short vids about it, and I'm sure there'll be tons more. The general tone is "WTF," and nobody lent the story much credibility, except for the fact that it was on Yeonmi's channel. It'll be interesting to keep an eye on, and even if it turns out to be complete bullshit, which it probably is, and the news broadcast was faked, it's still interesting. I'm going to have to call "Bullshit" on this one for now, but I'll keep abreast of the situation.

When I first heard the story it reminded me of an episode of the Twilight Zone, or possibly the Outer Limits, where an entire town was scooped-up, also by a UFO. In that case however, instead of just the people being sucked-up, a huge section of land, the whole town, was ripped from the planet. That episode always reminded me in turn of the back cover of Yes' brilliant album Fragile, which was drawn by the one-and-only Roger Dean. They just yanked a big chunk out of the ground, tasty vegetables and all.

Could there possibly be any truth to this story? Could 355,000 people vanish overnight? Anything's possible. We do know there's a huge chemical plant there, and major accidents have happened...the gasses released generally are heavier than air, and displace oxygen, thus choking its victims, and entire towns have been wiped-out, but 355,000 people...all of them? It seems unlikely but it would account for the smell. That's a lot of bodies to get rid of overnight, but who knows what they're really capable of. They showed people who'd allegedly moved in that very day, scrubbing windows to get rid of the smell, and having already planted tons of flowers, as if they'd been living there a while...it was surreal, and it seemed like pure bullshit, but who knows? 

 I'd like to hear, from Mr. Disappearance Specialist, where this has happened before, as he said, and why he's so casual about a fucking UFO. That sucker had to have been massive, to hold that many people. I reckon "conspiracy" stuff is frowned upon over there, so why say it's a UFO to begin with? Is that the best answer they could come up with to explain the disappearance of a shitload of people? Why not, right? 

 This story is a breath of fresh air for we "Conspiracy Theorists." Even if it's pure bullshit it's hilarious, and reads like the front cover of the dearly-missed tabloid, Weekly World News (RIP). It's also a possible peek into a country "shrouded in mystery," as writers would say. If it's a hoax, and the news broadcast was just a well-done fake, then it's one of the most batshit-crazy hoaxes to come out of anywhere in a long time. 

 Over a quarter-century since his death, I still wonder what Frank Zappa would have to say about shit like this. To me this is special, and Frank could've easily made it into a song. I know he'd be into the "sulfury reek" as he once said, and he wrote an amazing song called "Inca Roads," in which he discussed the Nazca Lines, and who may have used them, wondering if it was UFOs. "Was it round, and did it have a motor...or was it something different?" Brilliant. 

 Anyway, this is the best "WTF" story I've heard in a while. I seriously doubt it's true but if even a part of it is then it's incredible. 355,000 people beamed-up? The town is completely deserted, yet it's repopulated within 24 hours? Some woman goes on vacation for one day, and when she returns home the next day someone else is living there, and it's just tough shit? I guess she was the lucky one, out of 355.000. It sounds like complete horsefeathers, but I'll keep an eye out for any updates. Stay tuned...

News broadcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot7YOKQsIeM