Drunk/Drag Story Retold

I told part of a funny story on Facebook and a few people liked it. I didn't tell the whole story though. I've told it here before but as always, who cares? The bad thing about this story is that we were piss-drunk, and driving at that. I don't want to make that sound like a good idea for a second. Don't drive drunk.

 So there was a guy named Fred who worked in the kitchen at the crazy restaurant. He was queer as a football bat and we loved him to death. He was a great guy...wide open and friendly, smart, quick and hilarious. He was into drag, and one day after lunch he invited a friend and me to see him at a drag show that evening.

 Immediately we knew it'd be a good time but we were hesitant...it was in a part of town where we knew we'd be the only white people for miles. We certainly weren't racist in any way and we weren't afraid to be around a bunch of black people, but racism was alive and well back then, and anything could happen.

 We weren't worried about it but everybody else was telling us not to go and we'd get in trouble and everything, and that affected our resolve a bit. We decided that the best thing to do was to get loaded. That way we wouldn't give a shit going into a possibly volatile situation, and we'd ignore them telling us we shouldn't do it. We did have some adrenaline going, so we split a bottle of 100 proof Stoli.

 We heard that in the Soviet Union they sniffed bread before they took a shot. It was supposed to kill some of the aroma and taste of cheap vodka. We had some decent stuff, but we did it anyway. We got a basket of our fresh-baked dinner rolls and sniffed away. They were probably our dinner too. 

 The show started at 7 I think, and it was around 6. We wanted to leave before the dinner crowd got there so we wouldn't scare them off. The management didn't mind us drinking ourselves silly and acting crazy, but not during a shift. We took off for the club in Hugo's brand new white BMW...already drunk as skunks. "Well, here goes nothing!" 

 We got to the club a little early and were hanging out in the parking lot. We were looking at each other and grinning, like "What are we doing here?" Fred and his buddy pulled up. Fred had his red dress on a hanger, along with all his makeup and accoutrements. He also had a large Boa Constrictor around his neck. "Nice snake" we both said. "That's my baby" said Fred. "Glad you could make it boys!" "We wouldn't miss it for the world, Fred." "Wanna smoke a J?" Fred asked. We were blasted anyway, so why not? "Sure."

 We'd been standing outside of the car, probably to get some air to our brains and see if we could still stand up. We got back into the car to smoke. Since Fred was the star and had all his stuff I climbed into the back seat. Fred's buddy got in back with me. He looked us over and said to Fred: "Oooo, I like your friends, girl!" I'm guessing he thought we were gay. That was funny.

 As far as stuff besides alcohol goes, I should mention that Hugo had just had oral surgery and had some Talwin, an ultra-potent painkiller. On top of half a bottle of vodka and a joint and a pill, we were feeling no pain to say the least. 

 We chatted for a while until it was time for Fred to get ready. We went in and found a table right by the stage. It was a nice club and it was packed. We ordered gin and tonics for some reason. When I told the story on fb I told a little fib...I said we had 13 gin and tonics total, but we actually had that many each, plus several tall boys when they ran out of gin. I don't know how we weren't falling down but we weren't. We had a buzz from adrenaline, substances and the general atmosphere. 

 Before his turn, Fred came out to show us his outfit, and our jaws dropped. He knew what he was doing, and he really made for a very attractive "female." I gave him a big hug and loudly proclaimed, "Fred...you're BEAUTIFUL!" I could tell he appreciated it. We sat back down to watch the other girls, but then, almost automatically and practically in blackout condition, my dumb ass decided that it would be a good idea to ask every woman in the club to dance with me. 

 Usually I don't dance, and if I do dance I know I'm wasted. I asked nearly every gal in the club, going table to table. We were the only white folks in the place, so I suppose we were already getting a little attention, even though since we knew Fred we were okay. One by one the ladies shook their heads, and their dates either thought it was hilarious or gave me a dirty look. Finally one girl agreed to dance with me and I was thrilled. I barely remember moving around with her, somewhat to the beat, but that's about it. Bless her heart. I bought her a drink for her trouble.

 I don't remember much else until we were trying to get back to Crackerville, and we got lost. GPS wasn't even a twinkle in anyone's eye back then. We drove around in a haze. I just remember not knowing where the hell we were, and deciding to stop at another club, hope for the best and ask directions. That place was packed to the gills. We walked in, looked around and made our way to the bar. A human sea parted in front of us as we approached the bar. Everyone was totally cool, if a bit bemused.

 "May I help you?" the bartender asked. "Uh, can you tell us how to get back to Birmingham?" I managed to ask. He gave us directions and by the grace of God we made it back to the restaurant. A few people were still there, and they were thrilled to see us return safely, if plastered. They made us a fresh pot of coffee. I ended up crashing at Hugo's and his girlfriend Lanier's place.

 I should back up here because I left out a couple of things. Before we left the restaurant they made us promise over and over that we'd call at some point to let them know we were okay. We called from a payphone and Eric the bartender answered. "Mauby's" he said. "Hey faggot!" I said. Back then you could still say "faggot." We were three sheets by then and we didn't care where we were. We were having a big time...cutting up and laughing like lunatics. We were shitfaced, and Eric knew it. He put it on speaker so everybody else could enjoy the merriment.

 "Are you bozos okay?" he asked. "Yeah man, never better. Fred was awesome." "You numbnuts should call yourselves a cab." Hugo and I looked at each other and both said, "You're a cab." We lost it laughing, and we could hear them on the other end cracking up too. "No, I'm serious" Eric pleaded. "Y'all probably can't walk, much less drive" he said. "Nah, we're fine" we said. It's a good thing those weren't "famous last words." We were hammered.

 The punchline of the night happened when we went to the restroom. We were so drunk that we'd forgotten to pee, and it hit us both at the same time. There was another guy in there. "Howdy" we said. "How are y'all?" he replied. "Good, man, good." As we were standing there with situation in hand, a big dude walked in. He was large and in charge. He was wearing a burnt orange leisure suit, which you might have to Google, with matching boots and cowboy hat. 

 We nodded and he said "Hey fellas." He turned to the other guy and said, "Hey man...you lookin' for something? What you need? I got reefah, CO-caine, reds, heron...what you need man?" The guy said, "What I needs is a '85 Seville...with a sun roof!" It hit our funny bones with a sledgehammer and we lost it laughing. We were laughing so hard that we couldn't pee straight, and we were splashing our shoes. The dealer guy also burst into laughter in a really deep voice, and we were all just dying. You can't buy comedy like that.

 Anyway that's the story, once again. We made it back safely, with one heck of a funny story to tell. Don't drive drunk! THE END.

 
 

Cosmic Coincidences #38,375,720,286,268,642: The Light of the World

 

The night after the opening ceremonies of the Paris Olympics there was a massive power outage in the city. The only thing still illuminated was the Sacre Coeur Basilica, an old Catholic church. Isn't that interesting? 

 Some people say it's payback from God for the mockery of the Last Supper, with twerking drag queens and such. I'm not saying that's the case at all, but I'm also not saying it's not the case. It sure is a heck of a coincidence if that's all it is. 

 On the topic of possible mockery, they've come out and "apologized" somewhat for offending people, and they claim that it wasn't about the Last Supper at all but rather about Greek gods and whatnot. They've also said that it was about inclusivity, and that Jesus loves all people, including drag queens. That's absolutely true...so then it is about the Last Supper?

 People are starting to wise up to the "Official Narritive" and lots of them aren't buying it. Even some Atheists are upset. While they may not believe in God, they're smart enough to know that it's probably not a good idea to mock Him.

 Here's the thing about saying it was about Greek gods and all...although I didn't see the opening ceremonies, in all the ones I have seen, they explain in detail what's going on, especially things that obviously need explaining. To my knowledge they didn't say anything like, "This isn't about the Last Supper y'all, but rather Greek gods. Here we see..." If they had, there might not be such an uproar. Of course it was Dionysus and not Jesus, but it's hard to deny the Last Supper vibe. 

 Even if they had though, many people aren't fooled. I'd guess that the vast majority of people who saw the ceremony would automatically think of the Last Supper. Even if it were about Greek gods, they didn't need to use a long table that looks like Da Vinci's iconic painting. That image is practically hardwired in most people's brains. Are they trying to say that they didn't mean for it to look like the Last Supper? Come on.

 Some advertisers weren't fooled, and pulled their sponsorships. If you want to believe the official explanation and call people morons for thinking it's mockery, go right ahead. I support your right to believe what you wish.

 Matthew 5: 14-16 says: "You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven." That's right interesting too. In another verse, Galatians 6:7 says: "Be not deceived; God is not mocked, for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." I heard a bunch of that. What goes around comes around.

 Anyway I just thought it was interesting to see a scene like this right after showing drag queens as disciples. I have nothing against drag queens for one second. It's the mockery I have a problem with. God will not be mocked.

 

Mainstream Mockery

I didn't watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics but I sure heard about this blasphemy. It's one thing when Satanists do this kind of thing but it's entirely another when it's mainstream.

 This should bother people even if they don't believe in God. The people in power are tipping their hand and showing us exactly whom they serve. It's right in our faces. This is pure evil, and it's going to get much worse. 

 Of course there are people coming out and saying that this isn't what it seems and that it's not mockery. Bullshit. They say it's trying to show that Jesus loves everyone, even drag queens. That's absolutely true, but it's still mockery, and they can't spin it. People are waking up to the official bullshit. The Olympics shouldn't be about this kind of thing, right? 

 Again, while it's perfectly okay to mock Jesus, see what would happen if they tried to mock ANY other religious figure. One guy was taking about this and he said that if they'd tried to mock "Mo" or "Al" it would be the end of France. I say the entire Olympic committee would have to go into hiding. I'd bet Mr. Rushdie would agree with that. 

 I don't see how this kind of thing doesn't get people thinking about all this, but many people aren't bothered at all by pure blasphemy. I get that some people don't see it that way, and some actually enjoy it. The same people though would have a problem if they tried to mock Mo or Al. People want equality and that's great...I've supported that all my life, but where's the equality when it comes to mocking religious figures? Why is it okay to mock Jesus, and only Jesus? Can't we mock Al? Nope. They'd order a hit on your ass. Think about it.

 If people only see this as "entertainment" and aren't bothered or even think it's funny, that's fine, and as always I support their right to believe anything they want, but thankfully there will always be some people who see this as wrong, no matter how they spin it. For what it's worth, those are my people. God bless you.

 
 

New Thinking on Depression

I've always had a problem with the idea that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. That does happen and can lead to all sorts of problems, but it seems to be a catch-all for so many different things, and in the case of depression, I've just never bought it. 

 It's always been my opinion that depression is usually caused by circumstances rather than a chemical imbalance. In my particular case, the circumstances have been pretty rough for the last 16 years. It seems only natural that I'd be depressed.

 When I was playing music and making money and seeing my friends, I wasn't depressed. When I had to watch my parents suffer for 16 years without a day off, and didn't get to do those things, I was. It's simple in my book.

 Now the general thinking is that depression is mostly caused by stress. That makes way more sense to me and I'm glad they think that. I've been more stressed out the last two months than I've ever been in my life. Am I depressed? You bet. Would I be if things were better? Hardly. 

 I'm glad they're rethinking depression. It makes way more sense to me than a chemical imbalance. It's elementary, Watson. 
 

Quote of the Day

"The Devil is more afraid of you, as a baptized Christian, than you are of him." - Father Carlos Martins, Catholic priest and exorcist
 

How Much More Do We Need to See?

I've been saying for years that at least half of the "Official Explanation" is bullshit, and I'm far from the only one saying that. I'm not an expert in anything, but lots of people who are experts have been saying the same thing. Maybe after this fiasco people will start to at least question things. What's wrong with that? Do we honestly think the "Official Explanation" folks have nothing but our best interest at heart and would never lie to us? Come on.

 So this was done by some kid who was bullied at school and got kicked out of the rifle club or whatever it was in school? Really? Although they occupied the very building that the perp climbed on top of, the "Official Explanation" says that they didn't set up on the roof because it was too slanted, yet side-by-side photos of the roof they did set up on show that that roof was more slanted than the perp's roof, not to mention they apparently heard no footsteps above them on a metal roof that makes raindrops sound like tack hammers. There's lots of official stories that don't wash. The whole thing is a joke.

 Speaking of joke, a Facebook post about Jimmy Carter achieving room temperature was a hoax, but major news sources ran with it and announced it as fact. I believed it. I mean he's about a century old. It was fake though. How did that happen? 

 Here's the post. It's a little hard to believe that a fb post could fool so many people, but it does look fairly official. It goes to show that we just about can't believe anything these days, especially now that AI can create a bogus speech or an article or a video or whatever that will look 100% real.

 In my opinion it's all by design, and the purpose of all the bullshit flying around is to confuse us, and enable a "Ministry of Truth" of sorts, to provide the "Official Explanation," which will be taken as gospel, and only their story will be accepted and every other story (most likely including the one that's actually true) will be banned.

 I guess Jimmy Carter is having a good laugh about it. Anyway, there's going to be a million theories on the Trump thing since it's so historically important, but so far I've heard more theories than Carter has liver pills, as people used to say back in the day. I can't wait to hear the official report.

 I bet it'll be like the Warren Commision report or that of "Blind-11," and leave out some extremely important information. BTW does anyone still believe the Warren Commision report? Isn't it funny how "conspiracy theories" turn out to be true? 

 No matter what the official story turns out to be on the Trump deal, if all this doesn't wake people up I don't know what will. Besides the fear of being ostracized by their peers, the biggest obstacle to waking up is simple pride. No one wants to admit they've been fooled, but it's best to get over that. Way smarter people than you or I have been fooled, so don't worry about it. We need to accept it, and quit fighting each other and fight the bad guys. We're all in this together.

 I'll say again that it blows my mind when people who've studied a topic for fifteen years can be told they're full of it by someone who hasn't even looked into it for fifteen seconds. That makes no sense. Would I tell someone who's spent the last fifteen years in the jungle studying the Red Crested Beakfarter Bird that they're full of it, just because I haven't studied it? Hardly. 

 If all this nonsense doesn't get people to at least start to wake up then they just don't want to wake up, and I get it. Some people will never admit that they've been fooled, and some will never allow themselves to accept any bad news no matter what, even if it could help get them at least somewhat mentally prepared, if not physically. I say wake up and smell the bullshit. Either way have a nice day. 

 

Quote of the Day

"Don't drink drunk." - Joe Walsh, on how to stay sober
 

People Are Losing It 3 (VERRRRRY BAAAAAD KARRRRMA)

It should come as no surprise that as a whole, people are losing their minds. Alls you have to do is look around. It's one thing to get upset about something legit and freak out, but these days people are going berserk about trivial things like not getting extra pickles on their Big Mac or whatever. Some of us have been expecting this to happen for a long time, but still it's shocking.

 This dude lost his shit and basically turned into the Incredible Hulk, after being tased no less. He's a big guy with a big voice to begin with, but he started growling in a demonic voice. I've heard it happen many times lately, even with women, which is very creepy. 

 He was saying that tasing him was "verrrrry baaaaad Karrrrrma." It was kinda funny to hear someone growling when they're talking about Karma, but maybe that's how it works sometimes. Getting tased didn't affect him or his passion for Karma. 

 It would really scare some people, as well it should, and their natural reaction would be to think that this person was possessed, no matter what their beliefs. Lately I've heard lots of people say things like: "I'm not particularly 'religious,' but this person has a demon." It'd probably scare me too except that I know the name that's way more powerful than any demon, if that's what's going on.

 We "Truthers" believe that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and like everything else it's going to ramp-up exponentially. I hope I'm wrong but unfortunately I don't think I am. A certain book said it would happen one day, and it's literally a laundry list of things that are happening right now. It also mentions things like wars and rumors of wars (check), our hearts growing cold (check), people becoming lovers of self (check), earthquakes in diverse places (check) and things like that. But it's just a coincidence, right? 

 That book also says that God will give His people a "sound mind." Whether or not that's true remains to be seen, but most people have no problem saying that we're the crazy ones, and I get it. In my case, although my problems certainly aren't unique, my situation is somewhat dire and time-sensitive, with complications, and I've never had to deal with anything like this in my life. 

 I'm not as cool as a cucumber by any means, and when I turn my head my neck creaks and pops because the muscles are so tight, but I could be losing it, and I know it's true because I've seen people freak out over a lot less. I could get a doctor on a Zoom call and tell them what's going on and they'd write me a script for Benzos before I finished talking, but I'm not going to go that route.

 When I start to get really anxious I say a prayer instead, and a feeling of peace comes over me. It doesn't take away every bit of it but it knocks it way back. If it's just the placebo effect, I'll take it. Lots of people pay good money to get the same effect with meds, which of course come with side-effects.

 So many people these days are seemingly losing it just for the sake of losing it, and they have no self-control. They just go with it, and they seem to get off on it. The problem is that if it does get worse it's going to affect us all, and that won't be a good thing. This isn't about fear...it's about the antidote to fear. If it were me I might pray for a sound mind regardless of my beliefs. In any case, stay calm and have a nice day.
 

Slow Moving Meteor

I was looking at Venus at around 5am this morning and I saw a slowly-moving meteor. It was white, had no tail and lasted about ten seconds, although it only travelled about a relative hand's length across the sky. I saw it appear and disappear, and for a couple of seconds it got brighter and a little bigger than Venus.

 I've seen thousands of meteors. I've seen spectacular fireballs in every color that transversed the entire sky and made me gasp, but to see one moving so very slowly is at least as intense. It's only been within the last decade that we've seen them move so slowly. No matter how big they are or how long they last, most meteors we see are hauling ass, and to see one creeping across the sky is breathtaking.

 If my guys are right, and they have been for many years, then we're going to see a sky-show before it's all said and done. Heads-up.
 

Trumped

If this debacle doesn't turn out to be the biggest batch of bullshit bestowed upon us in a really long time, I'll eat my hat. Incredible.  
 

"Woke" Test

I'll try to keep my opinions of "wokeness" to myself, except to say that a lot of it is great, although you don't have to be "woke" to be a decent human, and for the millionth time, "woke" does not mean "awake."

 I saw an article titled "21 Signs That Indicate You Have a Woke Mindset." How could I resist...I took the "woke" test. I didn't really think I'd ace it but I didn't know for sure. Here's the definitions, plus my two cents.

1. You advocate for body positivity. It says that no matter what the shape, people deserve to feel good about themselves. I agree, except for the fact that by extrapolation we're supposed to consider all body types to be "healthy," and that simply isn't the case.

 It also says that you reject societal beauty standards and embrace all body types. Ideally that should be true, and for some it is, but at the end of the day you're going to like what you like. It's genetic, and being "woke" can't change that. It's not something I feel the need to advocate for, but maybe that means I'm an asshole.

2. Intersectionality is more than just a saying. It says that you've gone beyond saying "I don't see color" to realizing that people's experiences come from all our differences. I quit "seeing color" a long, long time ago, and the rest is pretty obvious to a decent person.

3. You actively fight for rights. Yes. I've fought for animal rights among other things. You gotta fight for your right to party too.

4. You use inclusive language. I'll call someone whatever they wish to be called, but I'll never believe the notion that a person can change their gender just by how they "identify." It doesn't matter how much a lie is promoted...it's still a lie. 

5. You're politically engaged. Actually I'm politically disengaged. I think politics is a distraction, a football game, and they're all just different clowns in the same circus, not to mention they're about 50% crooks and 100% liars. I guess I failed that one.

6. You use social media as a platform for activism. It says you use it to share information and raise awareness, which I do nearly every day, but for activism, not so much. I leave that for people who're into politics. If someone goes to my Facebook page for example, I want them to have a good time and forget about all that shit for a minute. I'd like for them to see cool photos, maybe learn something and hopefully leave with a smile on their face. Plenty of people have politics on their page. Go visit them if you like, and tell 'em I sent you.

7. You're continuously learning. Absolutely. I'm a sponge for knowledge. A good day for me is when I learn something cool that I didn't know the day before.

8. You've got pronouns in your social bios. I wouldn't say that but again I'll call people whatever they wish. It talks about respect, and I'm all about that. Disrespect is something I can't tolerate. It says though that using pronouns shows that you're on the right side of history. I don't know about that at all, and what's the "right" side of history anyway? It's how we interpret it. The main thing about history is that we don't learn from it, and you can take that to the bank.

9. Sustainable fashion is your go-to. I wear cotton. It's plenty sustainable.

10. The music you listen to isn't just for entertainment. Yes it is, sorry. It says you listen to artists who address social issues and advocate for change. Music has always been about that stuff, among other things. I try to separate a musician's music from their politics. I don't care who they're sleeping with or what drugs they do or which clown they vote for. All I care about is whether or not I like their music. 

11. You support fair trade. Of course.

12. You practice ethical tourism. I don't go anywhere, but if I did I reckon I would.

12. You appreciate cultures without exploiting them. Sure.

13. You challenge societal norms. I've done that nearly my whole life.

14. You have a diverse bookshelf. Very much so.

15. You support reproductive right. That's a toughie. I think life begins before a baby is born, and those lives are taken every day. I also have a problem with "my body my choice" applying to women for the choice to terminate, but not to people who don't wish to take a certain shot. Equality? Where? It's bullshit. 

16. You stand firm against hate speech. I always have. The problem I have with it is when stating simple truths, such as certain biological issues, is called "hate speech." That's more bullshit. Pure-D bullshit.

17. You care about economic justice. Of course. It says that no matter what their background, everyone deserves to thrive. That goes without saying.

18. You practice mindful consumption. Always. Well, almost always.

19. You know your privilege. I'm not sure about that one. It says you use your "privilege" to help disadvantaged people. I'll help a disadvantaged person all day of the week but I'm not sure how "privilege" plays into it. 

20. You believe in climate activism. I'd better not say too much. Climate change, formerly known as "global warming" is very real, except that it's NOT...I repeat NOT because of what we're told. Do your own research. Hint: start with how much "greenhouse gas" and CO2 a single volcano releases every day. After that, learn how Earth is heating up from the inside as well as the outside.

 Except for a few things I strongly disagree with, most of these things I've been practicing all my life, and most of it was "pre-woke," but according to these points, perhaps I'm more "woke" than I thought. It still doesn't mean "awake."

 

Oh, the "Shame" of a Pedo

This is a freshly-busted Pedo, about to meet a cop. This just happened less than an hour ago. Happy Fourth, asshole. He was trying to meet a 12yo for unsavory things, but SURPRISE, he met a predator-poacher instead. What a buzzkill.

 I bet spending 4th of July in the pokey sucks. Although these monsters get pathetically light sentences in most cases, in Colorado they take it fairly seriously, and he committed felonies. Ouch. 

 The word "shame" is in quotes, since these narcissists have no shame, or empathy, remorse, compassion, love or any of the things that make most of us human for that matter. He's only concerned for himself and the trouble he's in, and not ruining a child's life FOREVER. These fucks are the dregs of the scum; the lowest of the low. Most people don't like pedos, especially other inmates in the prison he'll hopefully be going to. 

 There are more of these sick fucks than we can count, but here's one more being busted and exposed. I have compassion for almost everyone else on planet Earth except for these monsters. T'would be better to have a millstone hung around one's neck and dropped in the ocean than to harm a child. I want to say that if he does go to prison, I hope they tap that ass, but vengeance isn't mineth. If the afterlife is real, pal, don't drop the soap.