It must be that time of year again, because when I go online to play Hearts or Spades, we all have on our Santa hats. I think Lisa looks really cute in hers. I have to say that I've had a digital crush on Lisa for quite some time now. She's been my opponent to the East for several years now, whether we're playing Hearts or Spades.
I used to love to play Spades with actual humans, and I play online sometimes. I play both but mostly I play Hearts. It's a quirkier game to me. I've played it on other sites but once I discovered Lisa, I always play the same site. She never says much...I think she's shy...but she's really nice, and she has a great smile. She shows up on time and she's always in a good mood. I tried to be professional, but I've gotten a little thing for her.
All this time we've only made small talk. I wish I could get up the nerve to ask her out, but so far it's just been casual. I think she'd make a great girlfriend, plus she's fine. Being fine doesn't always mean being a great girlfriend, but she's sweet as pie. In our little get-together I'd be the only logical choice for her to date anyway. The other two players, Bill and Mike, are both happily married. Lisa and I are single. I did tell her this year that she looks cute in her hat, and I think she blushed a little.
When you lose a hand, your copacetic expression turns to a frowny face. I hate to see Lisa sad. This time of year I call it her Grinchy face. The thing is, it only lasts about a second, and she's back to her usual happy self in time for the next hand. She's a trooper. She really checks most of the boxes I look for in a gal.
Bill's a good guy. He's the general manager of a Piggly Wiggly supermarket here in town. His wife is named Doris and she works in produce. They have three kids, and one is just entering college. Her name is Glenda. You don't hear that name very often these days. She got a music scholarship to Berklee. I think that's great and Bill is really proud of her.
When we play Spades, Bill is my partner and sits opposite to me. He's a great partner. He never cheats and he never makes mistakes, plus he has a great poker face. He always greets me with a cheery "Hi there, partner!" "S'up, Bill?"
Mike is West. He's a good guy too. He opened several KFCs in his area and he makes a lot of money. He does a lot of charity work and he has plenty of time to play cards. He has two daughters in high school, and he says they're good girls but they're a handful. I tell him that if it were me, on date nights I'd be sitting out on the front porch, cleaning my shotgun when their dates arrived to pick them up. He always gets a kick out of that.
The thing with Mike is that he always gets to be Lisa's partner when we play Spades. I wish we could switch partners every game, sort of like Square Dancing, but it's always the same. I think that if I could ever be Lisa's partner, she might open up a little more and maybe I'd finally ask her out.
I got tired of being Caucasian so I made myself black, with a blond beard and a sweet flattop, which you can't see for the hat.
The only time that Lisa and I are together is when we're next to each other on the scoreboard when we've tied and both won the hand, which can happen in Hearts. I always lose my nerve and just make more small talk. I get a nice vibe from her and she's wearing a tiny touch of some nice perfume. Maybe one of these days I'll break the ice and ask her out. Traditionally I've never been overly shy around women, so I don't see what the issue is.
Okay, so normally I don't always say when I'm bullshitting, but this time maybe I'd better, because I know that some people, including a few of my fb friends, think I'm being serious when I'm not. I'm making light of the fact that I have no life these days. Plus this blog is my therapy, and I'll write about anything. It is funny though...when I'm dumping hearts or the queen of spades on someone, I'll burn Mike and Bill before I'll burn Lisa, and that's pretty funny. Anyway, I'm bullshitting. Have a nice day.
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