Me and Lisa in Hearts: Happy New Year!

I've never played a game of Hearts online around New Year's, so these party hats were a little bit of a surprise. They give us festive hats for different holidays. At first though I was alarmed. Lisa's hat looks like Tron, and for a second I thought Tron had infiltrated the game and was trying to steal her mind. Don't take my Lisa! Bless her heart, she'll always be stuck in 8-bit world. At least I can visit. 

 This is my chance. These party hats are new to me, and I'm sure everybody will be in a festive mood. Lisa might even have a glass of champagne. She doesn't drink much so I doubt she'd have more than a glass or two. She won't be wasted but she might be a little tipsy, and since it's New Year's that's okay. This'll be fun!

 I'm gonna do it this year. Just before midnight tonight I'll log on to wish everyone a Happy New Year. I can use the fact that Lisa's hat looks like it's from Tron as an icebreaker. I'm not sure if she's old enough to know about that movie but if she does, she'll laugh. As soon as we're together on the scoreboard I'm gonna make my move. I'm going to wish her Happy New Year, and lean in for a kiss. Wish me luck. Happy New Year Lisa, Bill and Mike, and the planet in general! 

Almost Giving My Mom a Heart Attack

It's funny the things you think you'd forgotten, or maybe forgotten you remembered...I was thinking about the times I've been flying in small planes, and I remembered the first time I flew in a stunt plane. What was crazier even than doing stunts in a stunt plane was the fact that for some reason my mom decided to come along to watch, and they almost had to carry her away on a stretcher.

 My dad had all these flying buddies, and one of them had a stunt plane. I want to say it was a Luscombe, somewhat similar to the one in this image, but it was a real stunt plane in that it had a pressurized oil system so that the plane could fly inverted for extended periods without losing oil to the engine. 

 I was 10 or 11. In my teens I flew in several different planes, but I think my first flight ever was in the stunt plane. Way to get broken-in, right? Actually I may have flown in the glider first, but even that was gnarly. You'd get towed to about 3,000' by a tow plane and then the cable would be released and you'd catch thermals and rise to around 10,000'. Gliding is mostly done in Summer so you can catch thermals, so the pilot left the canopy off. You'd have your elbow hanging over the side like you were in a Jeep or something, only you were at 10,000'. 

 Since there was no engine, the only sound was the wind. Pilots will look for hawks and other birds catching thermals and head in that direction. The way it works is simple. The pilot puts the plane into a tightly-banked spiral turn. The warm rising air exerts more lift on whichever wing is pointing down, and as long as the plane is kept in a corkscrew turn it will naturally rise. When you get to the desired height you can fly level, but you'll slowly lose altitude, and have to catch another thermal if you want to stay aloft. 

 Theoretically you could fly coast-to-coast without landing and without an engine, as long as you could find enough thermals along the way. We'd stay in the air for a couple hours usually, and we caught thermals and repeated the spiral thing several times. What's cool is the same way pilots look for birds catching thermals, birds look for planes too. Many times we'd be flying and various birds would head our way and park just off the wingtips and fly along with us, like an escort. That was cool. 

 I'm almost positive that the stunt plane was my first flight though. Just because it's a stunt plane doesn't mean of course that it has to do stunts, and the pilot flew it normally at first, with maybe a few tight turns, I guess to make sure I wasn't going to erf all over the interior of his plane. When he knew I was cool he let it rip. All I can say is that since then there's never been a single ride at the fair or Disneyworld or Six Flags or anywhere else that can faze me. 

 I can't remember every stunt he did, other than in general flying the plane like most aren't meant to fly, but a few stand out. He started with the traditional loop-de-loop, which was a thrill, but that was nothing. He was flying level, but then he whipped the plane over into a half-rotation, and all of the sudden we were flying upside-down. I just started laughing. That was interesting. 

 The coolest thing to me was the "falling leaf" thing or whatever it was. He went into a steep 45-degree bank, held it in that position and cut the engine. The plane flew straight for a bit but then it started falling, except that he was making the plane swoop back and forth in an upward arc while falling, just like a leaf. I didn't know a plane could do that.

 But the most adrenaline-producing stunt, and what almost gave my poor mom a heart attack...I don't know if it was called anything, was when he pointed the plane straight up and took off like a rocket. He cut the engine, and the plane continued up for a few seconds, but then it came to a complete stop, pointing straight up, in midair. For a second or two we experienced zero gravity, which was a thrill. 

 But that was just the going up part. The plane flopped over and started heading nose-first toward the ground, and for extra kicks he put it into a tight "death spiral." Oh, and the engine was still off. He restarted the plane in plenty of time but kept diving, with the engine roaring just like in the movies, and then at around 1,000' feet or so he pulled out of the dive. 

 As much as it thrilled me and set off every chemical my brain could release, it wasn't quite so much fun for my mom. She's never been one to panic very often, but bless her heart that particular stunt almost made her swoon, according to reports from the ground. I could see her clearly, and I could tell from way up that she didn't look happy, but there wasn't anything I could do about it, and I wasn't about to tell him to quit. The problem was that she thought he'd lost control of the plane, and that we were about to crash. 

 Bless her ding-dang heart: I can understand. It certainly felt authentic from inside the plane, so I can imagine what it looked like from the ground. Too bad nobody filmed it. I knew that even if the engine didn't restart, and the plane was designed for that not to happen, it could still be flown and landed like a glider so I wasn't worried at all, but mom almost had an event. 

 I've always thought that as brutal as it was for her, and if I'd known how much she'd be traumatized, and how crazy the stunts would be, I'd have told her not to come, it was a good thing in the long run. I think it probably desensitized her just a bit to the stunts I'd pull on the ground in later years. You also have to consider I guess, that being on the ground and being 10,000' in the air are two different things. In any case she was banned from all future stunt plane flights, as if she'd have wanted to go. I'm glad she didn't have to see me crash.

 As far as I was concerned, flying several times in the stunt plane as a kid no doubt increased my fearlessness a tad, and probably contributed to my being a Type-A adventure-seeker. As far as my mom was concerned, it took a Coke on ice and several people fanning her and supporting her on each side to keep her vertical. For me it was both chills and thrills, but for her I guess it was just chills. Sorry about that mom, but it was for your own good. 

Spirit of Christmas?

I found the perfect image for this post. I was wondering what to use, and almost without even thinking I picked up my grandmother Booie's Bible and this fell out. She didn't write in her Bible or turn down corners, but she marked pages with whatever piece of paper was handy, which became memorabilia of her life...oil change receipts, recipes, photos and what have you. This charming homemade card with a wisemen sticker is probably from the 60s or early 70s, and it literally fell into my lap.

 So, will 2023 finally be the year that more people will experience the "Spirit of Christmas," aka the "meaning" of Christmas, whatever that is? This year I've heard a lot of people say things like "Yeah, we're gonna take it easy this year and be grateful for what we have." It sounds good, but what they're really saying is "We're broke." I have though heard a few people say it and I think they really mean it, again, whatever "it" is. 

 I'll be in as much of that headspace as possible. If things continue as they're going, this will likely be my mom's last Christmas with us, and for a day or two we weren't sure if she'd be here for this one. As if that's not enough, my dog was gone for two days and I was trying not to lose what's left of my mind. Thank God and my friend Laura I got him back. All I'll be thinking of is my loved ones. Plus I'm also broke. 

 So if it's even a thing, what is the "Spirit of Christmas," or the "meaning of Christmas?" For a long time it's been a celebration of the birth of Jesus, to some people. Some will say that there's nothing to it at all, and they'd have a valid point. December 25th is almost certainly not the actual birth of Christ. It is a Pagan holiday however, and based on ancient holidays and rituals and such, which have nothing to do with the basic ideas of "Christianity." 

 Some say the whole thing is a fairy tale from an old book of parables, which has nothing to do with us directly today, and they may be right. The Bible was written by people after all, although some believe that the writing was basically dictated by God. These days more people don't believe in Christ than do, and if things go according to what the book says, that will increase, but then again it says that others will turn to Him. I believe in the Biblical narrative and that Christ is my personal savior, but as always, what do I know? I could be dead-wrong. 

 But what if people want to leave all of that out of it, and just celebrate a holiday in general, but still want to observe "Christian-esque" ideals, such as the spirit of giving, family. friends and such? There's nothing wrong with that, and enjoy! Is it really better to give than receive? My parents and all my family in general thought so, and luckily a bit rubbed off on me. This year I ain't got nothing to give but love. That's as cliche as it gets. 

 For what it's worth, what I can do is pray for comfort and healing to those who'll be spending their first Christmas without a loved one. Even if you don't pray, just thinking of them has a positive effect. If you want to give of yourself, there are millions of volunteer things we can do. You can always just call an old friend or family member you haven't spoken with in a while. Driving around looking at lights was always about as cool as anything about Christmas to me. 

 Some people know that the 25th is almost certainly not the birth of Jesus but they celebrate it on that day anyway, and some know that the idea of having a tree is for the most part a Pagan thing, but they have a tree anyway. In any case I've heard more people mention the Christmas Spirit, and observing it or searching for it, whatever it may mean to them. I hope they find it, if indeed they're looking for it. Maybe it will find them. 

Rock Trivia: Science (SCIENCE) Edition (Magnus Pyke)

I was listening to Thomas Dolby's masterpiece "She Blinded Me with Science" (SCIENCE) for the millionth time this morning, and it gets better each time, when I learned something cool. Actually I knew it but I'd forgotten. 

 Magnus Pyke, who did voiceovers in the song and also played the elderly scientist, and head of the "Home for Deranged Scientists" in the classic video for the tune, was an actual scientist. He was a nutritional scientist and he worked for the British government. 

 He's also been my hero for over four decades since the song and vid came out. He hammed it up for the camera just a bit and it was perfect. He did spoken word parts, including repeating the title, saying "Good Heavens, Miss Sakamoto...you're beautiful!" but more importantly saying one word- "Science! (SCIENCE)." 

 I loved the song when it first came out and then I fell in love with him when I saw the video. Each time he says "science" (SCIENCE) he uses a different vocal inflection and it's just fantastic. It makes me really happy, sometimes so much so that I actually get a little misty, due to the sheer joy of music. That's nuts but that's music.

 He's also responsible for a disease I have which happens to be the only known case in the world- SDTS, or Selective Dolby-Tourette Syndrome. It's a rather bizarre condition where every time I see or hear the word "science" (SCIENCE) I feel compelled to type it in caps or say it in Mr. Pyke's voice or both.

 It's certainly not a debilitating condition, and if it happens in public I can make a joke out of it, at least to people old enough to remember the song, but with the amount of research I do every day it happens fairly often. There's no known cure and it doesn't bother me. I think it's funny, and it gives me a lift since I love the tune. If there's no one around to make you laugh, you have to do it yourself.

 I knew that Dolby had programmed most or all of the drums for this song and the record it was on. For the record as it were, when he programmed the drums he didn't use any crash cymbals or hi-hat, which leaves more room in the mix. Instead of a hi-hat part he added an offbeat cowbell, which adds a brilliant touch. The synth-bass part follows the drum part precisely, making the song super tight, yet somehow it still swings. Maybe that's due to the "legato-ness" of the keys but I'm not sure.

 I'm almost positive he toured this live back in the day with a real drummer, playing on Simmons electronic drums, the ones that look like stop signs and were on nearly every music video on MTV from the 80s. More trivia, and again I'm 99% certain, is that this song introduced the Simmons sound, which was sort of "rubber-bandy," to Pop music. Everyone had them for a while. 

 I Wiki'd the song to see if there was a drummer listed on the album, which I didn't think there was, and I followed the link to Mr. Pyke. Leave it to Thomas Dolby to get a real scientist. It did ring a bell that I'd heard that he was a real guy, but I didn't know anything about him. He was already old in the video, and he passed in 1992 at age 83. He had to have been a character up until the end. I mean...a British scientist, who was in a hit MTV video no less...what else do you want?

 It's a shame he didn't live long enough to see the internet and have his own YouTube channel. I'd have been his first subscriber. Scientist or not, his voice, and look in the video are absolutely perfect. God bless him.

 Learn something new every day, and when you can combine two of my favorite things- music and science (SCIENCE), it's a bonus. Although I'm the only known individual with SDTS, there must be countless people who'll never forget Mr. Pyke's contribution to Pop music, and thanks Mr. Dolby! RIP Mr. Pyke. Thanks for your service. Your voice is burned forever into my brain, and for that I'm grateful.

You can learn more about Magnus Pyke >HERE.

The classic video is >HERE.

 

 
 

Me and Lisa in Hearts: Holiday Edition

It must be that time of year again, because when I go online to play Hearts or Spades, we all have on our Santa hats. I think Lisa looks really cute in hers. I have to say that I've had a digital crush on Lisa for quite some time now. She's been my opponent to the East for several years now, whether we're playing Hearts or Spades. 

 I used to love to play Spades with actual humans, and I play online sometimes. I play both but mostly I play Hearts. It's a quirkier game to me. I've played it on other sites but once I discovered Lisa, I always play the same site. She never says much...I think she's shy...but she's really nice, and she has a great smile. She shows up on time and she's always in a good mood. I tried to be professional, but I've gotten a little thing for her. 

 All this time we've only made small talk. I wish I could get up the nerve to ask her out, but so far it's just been casual. I think she'd make a great girlfriend, plus she's fine. Being fine doesn't always mean being a great girlfriend, but she's sweet as pie. In our little get-together I'd be the only logical choice for her to date anyway. The other two players, Bill and Mike, are both happily married. Lisa and I are single. I did tell her this year that she looks cute in her hat, and I think she blushed a little. 

 When you lose a hand, your copacetic expression turns to a frowny face. I hate to see Lisa sad. This time of year I call it her Grinchy face. The thing is, it only lasts about a second, and she's back to her usual happy self in time for the next hand. She's a trooper. She really checks most of the boxes I look for in a gal. 

 Bill's a good guy. He's the general manager of a Piggly Wiggly supermarket here in town. His wife is named Doris and she works in produce. They have three kids, and one is just entering college. Her name is Glenda. You don't hear that name very often these days. She got a music scholarship to Berklee. I think that's great and Bill is really proud of her. 

 When we play Spades, Bill is my partner and sits opposite to me. He's a great partner. He never cheats and he never makes mistakes, plus he has a great poker face. He always greets me with a cheery "Hi there, partner!" "S'up, Bill?" 

 

 Mike is West. He's a good guy too. He opened several KFCs in his area and he makes a lot of money. He does a lot of charity work and he has plenty of time to play cards. He has two daughters in high school, and he says they're good girls but they're a handful. I tell him that if it were me, on date nights I'd be sitting out on the front porch, cleaning my shotgun when their dates arrived to pick them up. He always gets a kick out of that. 

 The thing with Mike is that he always gets to be Lisa's partner when we play Spades. I wish we could switch partners every game, sort of like Square Dancing, but it's always the same. I think that if I could ever be Lisa's partner, she might open up a little more and maybe I'd finally ask her out. 

I got tired of being Caucasian so I made myself black, with a blond beard and a sweet flattop, which you can't see for the hat. 

The only time that Lisa and I are together is when we're next to each other on the scoreboard when we've tied and both won the hand, which can happen in Hearts. I always lose my nerve and just make more small talk. I get a nice vibe from her and she's wearing a tiny touch of some nice perfume. Maybe one of these days I'll break the ice and ask her out. Traditionally I've never been overly shy around women, so I don't see what the issue is. 

Okay, so normally I don't always say when I'm bullshitting, but this time maybe I'd better, because I know that some people, including a few of my fb friends, think I'm being serious when I'm not. I'm making light of the fact that I have no life these days. Plus this blog is my therapy, and I'll write about anything. It is funny though...when I'm dumping hearts or the queen of spades on someone, I'll burn Mike and Bill before I'll burn Lisa, and that's pretty funny. Anyway, I'm bullshitting. Have a nice day.

 

 

 

Beware the Basement People

I've mentioned this before but as these days we're in go by, I think it's going to become more and more important. My friend Cami, who worked with me at the crazy restaurant posted a thing on fb that said something like "Go for the balcony people, and avoid the basement people." It's a perfect way to describe the people we all meet who talk down to us, disrespect us or act like we're stupid, as opposed to people who don't, and simple is good.

 It instantly creates an image in your mind, and anything that can be associated with something good to remember...music, smells, images and lots of other things can keep the saying or whatever it is in the forefront of your brain, which then decides that it's important. Boy, if you could put a catchy melody with it, people would remember it for the rest of their lives, and the world would be a better place. 

 The "balcony people" are those who treat you with respect, are happy for you when something good happens, encourage you and whatnot, and just are positive in general. Those are the people to go for, but only, and I mean ONLY if you're of the same frame of mind as them, and treat them accordingly. There's a reason they called the Golden Rule golden.

 The "basement people" on the other hand will do whatever they can to disrespect you, diminish your accomplishments, treat you like a dummy, jump your shit for no reason and a host of other things, and are the opposite of positive. Granted there are people who split the difference, but most people are one or the other, and it's easy to tell. And sadly, there are those who are born into a "basement" situation and that's all they ever know. I feel for them.

 It sounds easy to do...stay away from all negative people and only hang out with positive people, but it's impossible to do because most of us have to deal with them at least occasionally, and sometimes you can't avoid them because they're coworkers, "friends" or family, but I can assure you that if you can lose them or at least limit contact, your life and peace of mind will be much, much better. They're straight-up "energy vampires." They're not even consciously aware of it most of the time, but they'll zap your mood and literally suck energy from you in a big way. Avoid them

 What you have to realize about the basement people is that anyone who has to make themselves feel better by putting down others are themselves miserable on the inside. We know that "misery loves company" is a thing and we've all been there, but when people make it a habit, that's a different story. They're empty and unhappy deep inside, and they hate seeing people who aren't. If you let them, they'll take you down right into their quagmire. They'll fell better but you'll feel like shit. Again, avoid.

 One thing I've noticed about them is that if you ever try to call the out for being disrespectful, they'll always tell you that you're imagining things or you're too sensitive or you're tripping or whatever...no. A child knows when it's being talked-down to. It's not like you run off crying, and at the end of the day you have to feel a little sorry for them maybe, because it's obvious that they're miserable inside, for the most part. 

 The problem, and it's a big one, is that they see that kind of behavior as normal, and that's not good. It's a huge red flag. They see it as a weakness that other people don't just go along with their bullying.

 I've mentioned this too but I remember being on the playground in second grade I think, and the typical class bully guy was berating this kid; telling him he was stupid and this and that. The kid wasn't happy, and the bully had a few people on his side, but I could see who was actually the one with the problems. I told myself then and there that I would never be that guy, and I'd never treat anyone with disrespect, and if there's one thing I can say for myself it's that to this day I've never disrespected a soul, even if they've disrespected me. 

 The balcony vs. basement people thing is great. It needs no explanation. I've always said that if I were God I'd have made an 11th Commandment- "Thou shalt not waste," but now I think I'd have done a dozen. The 12th would be: "Goeth with thy gallery people and shunneth thy basement people." That's a tongue-twister. 

 As much as you can, seek out balcony people. They're still around, only these days you have to look a little harder to find them. Let the basement people stay down there in the basement...by themselves where they belong. Besides, the view from the balcony is much better. Oh, and if you want to be a balcony person, you'd better not be an imposter. You'll be discovered, and it's a long fall back down. 
 

How Some People Make Money on YouTube

This woman is a content creator on YouTube. I'll call her Mary, because that's her name. She also makes a decent amount of money on YouTube, and it should be fairly obvious how she does it. She makes a living off of her breasts. Why not...she's sure got a pair. 

 This is typical of all the clickbait vids, where a thumbnail like this catches the attention of low-life perverts all over the world. So did I click on it? Of course I did. In my defense though I was actually doing a bit of research, and...ha-ha...that just reminded of the old excuse for reading Playboy- "I read it for the articles." Anyway, I really was, and gigantic breasts aren't my thing anyway.

 Don't get me wrong...she's attractive, and what we'd call "foxy" back in the day. As far as allurement goes, she's got the whole package, not just a set of Wahoongas. She might be the nicest person in the world, but it's hard for me to take someone who makes money off of body parts seriously, but as always, WTF do I know? 

 I haven't delved into her catalog of videos, all shorts, but apparently she lives on a farm, and she can do anything from cooking when the power goes out to plumbing to carpentry to animal husbandry to you-name-it...all while flopping her breasts around. Here she's seen browning some hamburger meat in a hot skillet. I'd watch that splatter if I were you, sister. 

 I could be wrong, but it seems like half of it is bullshit. It looks like it's all been set up, and the short videos show her with tools and stuff, but it never really shows her doing anything, or shows how it got to that point, and every job is excellent. I guess that's why all her vids are shorts. Mostly she mugs for the camera, which is the point of course, and she moves around to show as much of her breasts as she can without showing nip. I guarantee they've had to reshoot scenes quite a few times. 

 As long as no one gets hurt, and that can be a fine line, I don't begrudge her or anyone else for making a living however they choose, and go with what you got. Judging by her number of subs and videos, and the fact that YouTube promotes stuff like this, she probably makes a few thou a month, maybe more. I hope she puts a little of it away, for when she needs back surgery down the road. And if you're an over-thinking asshole like me, then let's be real...she wouldn't be doing all them chores without at least a sports bra on. 

 Personally I think it'd be hotter if they at least tried  to make it look real, instead of showing her tap the last strip of wood into a beautiful, immaculate and expensive wall treatment, in her barn no less. or whatever it is, but again, all that stuff is just a backdrop for breasts. Again she's got the tools for the job as it were, but it's so in your face, again as it were, that it's blatant. 

 I'm not knocking her, and maybe if I ran into her at a coffee shop and she invited me to the farm, maybe I'd see that she really knows how to do all that shit, and there's more than meets the eye. And to be fair, with overalls that loose, she couldn't expect to do any real work without those things flopping out in front of God and everyone, and I can understand that. She doesn't always wear overalls but whatever she wears is designed to show as much skin as possible.

 Maybe she actually does more work that it looks like, and she's a true Renaissance gal and jackoff all trades, and maybe her tacos are to die for, but like they say...no matter how legit, it's all about the tits.

Another Dimension?

My mom digs old Westerns, and that's what's usually on TV. Last night I was watching a movie on YouTube, with headphones. I wasn't paying attention to the TV, but then out of nowhere I heard a very stern voice that was loud enough to get through the headphones, saying, "Hard drives are not a problem." 

 That statement wouldn't raise an eyebrow these days, but when I looked up to see who said it, I saw this guy, probably named Zeb, making the comment. It didn't compute, and for a second or two (I'm slow) I thought, "What the...have we crossed into another dimension? Have we reached the Big Singularity or whatever it is, where time has become meaningless, and the past, present and future have been thrown into a blender?" 

 Before too long my thinking brain took over from my lizard-brain's "fight or flight" initial response, and I realized that he must be talking about a cattle drive, considering they didn't have PCs and such back then, and the hard drive was over a century away. I got a laugh out of it, and I was very relieved that Time was still safe.