Well-Timed Poots (rewritten)

Sometimes farts can be inconvenient, such as on a first date or in church or the library, and there's only so many times you can blame it on the dog, but sometimes it's a different story altogether, and memories can be made.

 One day I was in line at the supermarket, in front of two sweet little old ladies. One of them picked up a bottle of Beano from the impulse-buy rack. "I hear this stuff works pretty well" she said. "Have you ever tried it?" "No, I haven't" said her friend. At that very moment I felt a heavy "knock at the door' down below, and I knew I had a huge fart "in the chamber," as my buddy Rusty used to say. 

 I'd planned to release it in the parking lot, but opportunity struck. One of the ladies turned to me and said "Excuse me sonny. Have you ever tried Beano?" "Oh, no ma'am" I said loudly, as the cashier handed me my change. "I'd miss the gas." I let loose a huge fart, and walked out of the store grinning. Everyone around us burst out laughing. You can't buy memories like that. Timing is everything.