Friday, October 29, 2021

My Failed Rap Career (rewritten) PARENTAL ADVISORY: Strong Language

My career as a Rap artist was over before it started, but occasionally I think about what might've been. This was back when I worked at the crazy restaurant. During a moment of downtime I wrote a couple of Rap songs in my head. Actually I didn't write "songs" at all, since there's very little actual music in most Rap tunes. I just came up with the vocals. 

 If you want to sing along with my tunes I'll provide the lyrics. Again there's no real melody, except for maybe a couple of notes here or there from what sounds like a little kid tapping on a Casio keyboard that he got for Christmas. Just imagine those long, boomy, sustained bass notes like you hear when certain cars drive by with the windows rattling. Add a ticky-tack, splitty-splatty drumbox beat, a few handclaps and you're there. Here's my jams. 


Muthafukka

Mutha mutha mutha mutha

Mutha muthafukka 

Muthafukka and anotha muthafukka


Ditch Bitch

I'm a sonofabitch

I got a trailer hitch

And I drove my ass

Right into a ditch, yo


 With a couple of tunes under my belt I began to ponder my future in Rap. I hadn't come up with a name yet...I was thinking maybe "Cool Carl Casian" or something equally dorky yet controversial, but the name didn't matter. The rest of the plan was clear though. I'd have a Bentley in the driveway and a swimming pool in the sunroom. I'd buy a gold chain with links as big as my fist. They'd name a strain of high-end reefer after me. I'd have Snoop on speed-dial and I'd be signed to Def Jam or somebody. I'd have all them hos. 

 I was standing there with my head tilted upward, with my thumb and forefinger resting on my chin, staring into space contemplatively, when Cindy, aka "DJ Cinj" walked over and snapped me out of it. She made some comment like "Got a date tonight Kelj?" "No. I'm thinking about my future as a Rap star." "Really?" she said. "Uh-huh. I just wrote a couple of kickass tunes. Lemme sing 'em for you." "Welllll..." she said. "Okay" I interrupted. "Here goes." 

 I sang Muthafukka for her. She stared at me silently, but with a look that said "Are you seriously kidding?" "Okay, okay" I said. "Here's another one, and this one's a HIT!" "Right" she said. I sang Ditch Bitch for her. I even did a little dance and added some handclaps, to really make it pop, but her expression never changed. I was hoping maybe she'd sign up to be my first official ho, but instead she crushed my dreams. She was never one to mince words.

 She basically told me that my tunes were about as "white" as it gets, and that I should stick to things I know, like being able to tell the difference between Blue Cheese and Thousand Island. She really burst my balloon, but I knew that if DJ Cinj rejected my music, then I'd never stand a chance with Suge or any of the big boys. Adios, Bentley. Later-on, champagne with McMuffins. Goodbye hos. My Rap career lasted about one minute, in my head, but for that moment it was glorious. I guess it's just as well really. I'm just too white, and sadly I'll never be able to change that. Dammit, yo. Oh well, y'all. Have a ni-ni-nice day. 

 



 

Thursday, October 28, 2021

The Circus is Always in Town

In case you didn't know by now, they're ALL clowns in the same damn circus, no joke. 
 

Monday, October 25, 2021

SICK

This is by far the toughest post I've ever written, but my gig is exposing this shit, so here goes. This motherfucker Faux-ci is an evil piece of shit, and what's just come to light about the "experiments" he did on Beagles and Beagle puppies is so far beyond sick and cruel that they need to make a new definition for it. Find me one example of what pure cruelty had to do with research into ANYTHING but CRUELTY and I'll suck a pole. 

 I'm physically sick. I have tears in my eyes and I'm hugging my Beagle for dear life. It's times like these when I almost wish I could go get a lobotomy or something so I could forget about evil shit like this. I knew there was something wrong with this sick fuck...I knew it...and now the whole world knows too. If there's a Hell I'd hate to be his dark-ass soul.

  This is one truly sick fuck. He gets off on CRUELTY. He's EVIL, and he just proved it. He just proved it. More than that even he's a piece-of-shit COWARD. Anyone who could do something like that...holy shit...that's how cereal killers are born. Hmm...how APPROPOS! Faux-ci is a sick, sick fuck, end of story. Here's the deal: these are the people trying to make your medical decisions for you, and they're truly disturbed, sick, cruel cowards, who obviously lack a speck of empathy, decency, humanity, love, kindness or anything else that makes us human, and this is proof. He should be locked-up! If we let these twisted, evil Satanic fucks tell us what to do, WE'RE GODDAMNED FOOLS. That's the truth. Wake up! 

Saturday, October 23, 2021

The Numbers Game: Joe and the Sixes (6uild 6ack 6etter)

What's in a number? In the case of certain numbers, like one of my favorites, #666, there's a lot. Good ol' 666- Da Numbah o' Da Beast. Regarding his spending bill for infrastructure repair, he quipped "It doesn't matter if it's in six minutes, six days or in six weeks. We're going to get it done." Interesting choice of words, Joe. 

 He also recently brought up the "6uild 6ack 6etter" deal, where the Bs are replaced by 6s. It's very cute and clever...and also very Satanic. Even if I didn't know shit from apple butter when it comes to religion and Theology I think I could figure out without straining my brain that whatever it is they plan to build, they plan to build it on a Satanic foundation. What else is there to say about it? What else could be said? It's pretty much spelled-out. It couldn't be any more in our faces. 

 I believe two things are happening right now that the Good Book said would happen- The Veil is lifting, and a light is being shone upon the darkness. The second part is self-explanatory, and the "Veil" refers to the curtain or barrier that separates our world from the "spirit realm," if it exists. I think the Veil is getting thinner and the light is getting brighter, and this is a perfect example. These people are coming out into the open, and they're not trying to hide it any more. You'd think that seeing something like "6uild 6ack 6etter" would have even Atheists wondering what up, and maybe looking into a chapter or two of Revelation, but most people just shrug it off I guess. I don't get it. It's a signal. It doesn't get any heavier that the number 666. To try this twenty years ago would've been laughable, but these days most people just accept it.

 When we see 666 in the title of 6uild 6ack 6etter, we can't call it "conspiracy theory" or anything else- it's exactly what it says. Are we going to build a Satanic infrastructure? It would seem so. Seriously, they're spelling it out for us, with zero ambiguity. Whatta y'all got to say about that? These people are Luciferians. I've been trying to tell you, but now you don't have to believe my dumb-ass...they're telling us right to our faces. The question is...does it bother you that these people worship Satan? It should. Have a nice day. 


 

Fertilizer of the Day: Frass

I was searching soil amendments, specifically bat guano and mycological stuff, and I ran across this. I hadn't heard the word "frass" in a good while and I'd forgotten what it meant. It's the droppings and molted shells of, in this case Soldier-Fly larvae. They feed them organic fruit and vegetable trimmings and let them go to town. I'm sure this is good stuff.

 Almost any kind of manure (besides dog and cat manure) is good fertilizer, and this is so tiny that it doesn't need to be composted. It's red' ta go. I know that Chitin, from the shells, is good for animals and people and I'm guessing plants too, but the calcium and other minerals in the shells are. The shells would help keep the soil aerated and loose if used regularly. I bet plants just love frass. 

 Frass...cool word. I think it's short for "from the ass."  
 

Thursday, October 21, 2021

Quote of the Day

"We are not the vax police." - In and Out Burger execs, on ignoring the mandate against serving un-vaxed people
 

Sunday, October 17, 2021

Quote of the Day

"When the truth is finally known, the facts will be made to accommodate the truth." - Anonymous
 

Friday, October 15, 2021

Striking Similarities in Psychedelic Experiences

One thing that's always fascinated me about the psychedelic substances is the way that certain substances can cause such similar experiences, even in vastly-different groups of people. Right off the bat I can recall doing acid with close friends or girlfriends back in the day, and having basically the same trip...seeing the same things, feeling the same way, etc. That's really interesting, and to me is an example of shared brainwaves, but it's not definitive proof that the substance itself is causing that. 

 Certain members of the cacti family for example, can produce similar "visions" of Native-American-type or Aztec-ish patterns and colors. What's further interesting about that is people all over the world report similar experiences with the same substances, so it can't be related to culture or surroundings or circumstances or anything else- there must be something intrinsic to the substance itself. Or could it be there's something beyond the substance itself? Could these things actually be a gateway into other dimensions, that are just as real as ours? 

 Many people would immediately scoff at that notion, but for the record, a good many Physicists these days (the people who are really smart) subscribe to the "Multiverse" theory, where there are many universes stacked together just like the pages in a book. It's just like stations on a radio dial- each has its own frequency, and we can only tune-in to one at a time. That's not to say that you couldn't theoretically visit another one for a bit, however you got there. I believe I have. I also believe in at least two other dimensions we can't currently see- Heaven and Hell. 

 The people who'd call bullshit on it would say the shared-experience thing is just a coincidence, and chalk it up to the drug itself, and quote such things as serotonin-cascade, the "dream-gate," which keeps dreams from creeping into waking life is temporarily blocked, the person has simply lost their minds or whatever else, but luckily for me I rarely buy that, at least not 100%, and I think there may be something to it. 

 I just heard someone tell a story on YouTube about using a substance called DMT. I watched a bit of a marathon of "trip reports" produced by the Comedy Channel. Seems like comedians do incredible amounts of powerful psychedelics these days. I can't remember exactly who it was but it's on there, and it's someone who's very well-known in comedy. In the interest of research on this topic, and for true hilarity, I've read hundreds of trip-reports, but the great thing about a video is that you can see their faces when they tell the story. 

 So this guy had used DMT quite a few times, and related similar experiences. DMT is pretty much the most powerful hallucinogen known, and the effects can vary from lasting hours, if brewed naturally and taken orally, or only about three minutes, when smoked in the refined form. Another difference worth mentioning is when taken orally, as in an Ayahuasca ceremony, especially for first-time users, is that vomiting is almost guaranteed, as is often evacuating the bowels as well. 

 This is known as "La Purga" and is aptly named. Smoked, it doesn't produce those effects, and is over and everything is completely back to normal in less than five minutes, almost like Nitrous Oxide, but a trillion times more intense. In fact it makes taking acid seem about as strong as a cup of coffee, and that's no joke. They say those three minutes can equal a thousand lifetimes of tripping. Back in the 60s and 70s they called DMT the "Businessman's High," since it only lasted a few minutes. 

 The guy did the smoked version. In about half of his journeys he'd encountered a "purple Gypsy woman." She'd talk to him and was extremely friendly, and he even sensed that she was jealous of his girlfriend. After encountering her four or five times he said he began to feel almost like he was having another relationship in another world. He also encountered the "Machine Elves" that are so often reported. They were feeding him information but at a rate much too fast to be absorbed. It always felt like a loving and welcoming environment. 

 It's interesting enough that he had the repeated experiences with the purple woman. He'd heard about the Machine Elves but the woman was unexpected, although many people have reported communicating with other beings, often women, and often sort of "Mother of the Universe" figures. No one told him anything about purple women though. Of course you have to be skeptical at first, of anything, but you also have to be truly open-minded, not just in word. The skeptics might say that his little brother had a comic book with a purple Genie on the cover and that made it into his trip, but the story gets really interesting, and should leave people at least scratching their heads. 

 Someone he knew wanted to try DMT for the first time, and since he had experience, he agreed to give him a dose and supervise. The other guy knew nothing about DMT really, and all he was told was that it was unlike anything he'd ever taken by lightyears, and to strap-in and just go with it. He didn't want to color the guy's experience in any way. He said the guy had the typical blank look on his face and went still for a minute or two, but as he started to come back down he yelled "They love you there!" "Yes, they do love you there. It's a loving place." "No, I mean they love you there. There's a woman there who told me she loves you. She's purple." 

 Needless to say it freaked the guy out, and you could see it in his face as he told the story. He hadn't said a word about the purple woman or the elves or anything else as far as what to expect. That's some compelling evidence for something going on I say. is it just coincidence, or are there really other worlds we can briefly visit, with recurring themes and characters that are as real as we are, only vibrating in a different plane? It's all a frequency deal. 

 The thing is, no matter how smart someone may think they are or what they know or what they may or may not believe, the truth is that nobody can say with 100%-certainty whether it is or it isn't the case. I can't say that you can actually be transported into another dimension through the use of a specific substance, and that certain scenarios are repeated, just like visiting another place in real-life, much less that you could have a "relationship" with a purple woman, and she even tells someone else about it, and I get how batshit-crazy it sounds, but then again I also can't say it isn't real. Whether or not someone thinks something is real or not has no bearing on whether or not it is. Maybe it's just the drugs, or maybe not. 

 It's one thing to take a substance and trip your brains out, but it's another thing to have repeated, similar experiences with the exact same characters each time, and still another for someone in Boise, Idaho and someone deep in the jungles of Wherever, to take the same substance and have virtually identical trips, and even see the very same entities, without any prior knowledge of other people's experiences. This has been documented time and time again, going back centuries in some cases, and far too many times to be considered coincidence. They've done papers on it. 

 But the guy trying DMT for the very first time, and coming down from a trip and being certain he'd actually visited another realm, which happened to be the exact same realm the first guy had visited many times, and describing it down to a purple woman, not to mention one who has affection for the first guy? That's extremely difficult to call a coincidence if you ask me. It's rather specific. 

 So is it just random effects of the substance, or is the substance a doorway into another universe that's completely out-to-lunch, but quite real, as real as the one we're presumably in now? Could the substance be a "key," and temporarily change someone's frequency so that they could visit one that vibrated at that frequency? Remember, everything in the Universe is a frequency, when you break things down as far as they'll go. Google it, Dylan. To me this story is some strong evidence, and my Bullshitometer is barely registering. Those who've "been there" certainly think it's real, but that proves nothing. Having similar experiences on the same thing is actually fairly common. A purple woman? Now that's some shit.

 

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

More Results of a Godless Society

This creature is the kind of thing that happens when we remove God from society. If you ask me this goes much deeper than fashion, or some sort of expression of personality or whatever. In fact I'll say again that I believe that the longer someone is "occupied" by a demon, yes, a demon, the more it begins to manifest itself and reflect in the appearance of that person. 

 Call me old-fashioned but I say only an equally-disturbed person could be attracted to an abomination like this. And no, I'm not squeamish, and this isn't hate speech. Besides repulsion, granted, I feel deep pity for this person, and their soul to boot. 

 I don't know if this person is an "influencer" or not, but many of the ones I've seen look similar, or worse. Some don't look human. If these people are really influencing anybody, especially our children, then we're in big, big trouble, no shit. So what was this person's deal? They were ranting on, bug-eyed, about how people who haven't been whaxxed are insane. Right, then. Reckon that's the pot callin' the kettle black. Sure, you can trust her opinion. She's an "influencer." May God have mercy on our sick asses, Amen.

Monday, October 11, 2021

Shots Fired Again

I just heard more gunfire. This time a shotgun was involved. I heard one blast and about 15 seconds later another. About 45 seconds later there were three rapid-fire shots from a high-caliber firearm. It was in the other side of this complex, about a block away. Half the dogs are barking and the other half are under the bed scared shitless I reckon.

 One cop arrived within two minutes and I just heard another arrive. It's been about ten minutes since it happened and I thought the place would be swarming with cops by now, but maybe it's getting routine. It sure seems to be.

 It was a rude way to have my Northern-Exposure reality-break interrupted. Nothing snaps you back from the early-90s to 2021 quicker than the sound of gunfire. It was like premature time-travel. There I was all wrapped-up in the show and remembering the general vibe from 1993 or so, and BOOM, I was transported over a quarter-century in a millisecond. It made me dizzy. I talked to a sweet sister today who was moving. She said she had to get away from this shit. I live in the motherfucking 'hood. 

Thursday, October 7, 2021

Quote of the Day

"The reason I'm so fat is because every time I banged your mom she gave me a cookie...he he he." - Dude on Tic-Tok
 

Tuesday, October 5, 2021

Comment of the Day 😈

"Facebook is SATIN." - Earl C. [I'd have thought "polyester" myself. Either way it's synthetic.]
 

Saturday, October 2, 2021

Only MUSICIANS Will Get This Joke

Ah, drummer jokes. We can't seem to get enough. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? A drummer (Ba-dop...PSHHH!). Did you hear about that band that wrecked their van? Three musicians and a drummer were injured (Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr...BAP!). How can you tell if a drummer is at your door? The knock speeds up (Ba-da-DOMP!). I think that's my all-time favorite. What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless (BrrrrrrrrrrrrDOP...PSHHH!). They go on forever, and are a constant source of amusement. 

 It was with great sadness that I noticed this thumbnail. I knew that no matter what the joke was, I wouldn't understand it. I could immediately picture the rest of the band laughing hysterically, while I sat there scratching my head and looking all forlorn and lonely. And a little bit dumb too. There's just nothing worse. I didn't know of this sister before the thumbnail appeared, but of course I clicked on it. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment. 

 Sure enough I didn't get it. She told the first part of the jokes, but instead of giving the punchline she played a few notes on a keyboard. Apparently it was funny. How is it funny? She didn't finish the jokes. I don't get it. And there you have it, straight from the title. I wish I understood. I wish I was a musician. 

 If you happen to stumble on this post and are a musician, maybe you'll get it, so I'll leave a link. I like her so far, and she seems funny, although I can't figure out why. If you do, be kind and hip a drummer. We hate being in the dark when the rest of the band is laughing. 

Click >HERE< for the video.