The Worst Jokes in the World #43,738, 793,279

So these two missionaries volunteer to go deep into the most remote and feared part of the jungle to stay with a tribe of headhunters. An uneasy alliance is formed with the elders. The tension is high, and the faint sound of drums in the distance only makes things worse. The drums start quietly but then they get louder and closer and build to a crescendo. One of them finally speaks. "Bad" said the elder. "What's bad?" said the missionary. "Bad...very bad" he repeated. "Drums..." he said. "Yes, drums. What else?" said the missionary. "Only means one thing." "What, man, WHAT?" said the missionary. "Bass solo!"

River

I couldn't guess how many times I've been to the Cahaba River since I started going as a kid, and even so when I see images like these I'm speechless. It's no wonder I come here. I'm very blessed.

Bad Jokes Coming True

NOTICE: This is NOT hate speech against the Chinese people or any volcanic activity. I hope we're clear on this. Thanks, lol.
 It was around ten years ago when I first "joked" about this in another blog. I'd been reading about the trade deficit and all the other stuff going on with China. I joked that pretty soon we'd have to change "USA" to "USA, XRoC." That's short for "Extension of the Republic of China." I was joking that the US would become a subsidiary of China and would have to change the name.
 Fast-forward a decade, and what do you know...so much has been done to try to equalize the imbalance, only without using actual money. All I can say is it is what it is. To try to illustrate the point would sound like fiction to most people; especially since when they hear something that's a bit out of their wheelhouse, they'll spend the next two minutes calling the source crazy and saying it must be wrong without any evidence whatsoever, rather than taking that same two minutes and looking it up for themselves, but most people think that their opinions somehow magically outweigh facts. That's just how things are. Apparently that is what it is too.
 Put it this way...although it's not on display yet, technically there's a new plaque for this iconic feature; one that's recognized worldwide as a major symbol of America. It reads: 老忠实. Have a nice day. :)

Quote of the Day

"Tom Waits for no one." - Dr. Octafer

A Happy Ending

We know for a fact that at least ten (10) trillion dollars has up and gone missing from the budget over the last couple of decades or so. That's a lot of scratch. That's $10,000,000,000,000. That kind of dough will buy a lot of toys...cool toys...big-boy toys...stuff that ain't on the market. People have speculated on how that kind of money could've ever been misplaced to begin with; not to mention whereTF it went. I know. Thing is the beneficiaries wish to remain quiet about this, and understandably so. I've agreed to keep their identity private in exchange for being able to tell the story.
 What happened was somebody stashed it inside a brand-new Beautyrest in a spare bedroom and forgot all about it. A few years later they decided to remodel the house and donated the mattress to Goodwill...box springs and all. A young couple, who were struggling a bit but very much in love and about to start a family, happened by the Goodwill store and purchased the Beautyrest for a song. They got it home and as they were putting the fitted sheet on they noticed a big lump, and there it was- ten trillion dollars in cash. They couldn't believe their good fortune. They lived happily everafter. THE END.

They Thought of Everything

Okay I get it. People who simply make observaions about things that don't add up or that are the opposite of what they're meant to be are automatically called crazy, and without benefit of any investigation, and I suppose it also sounds crazy to say that it's by design, but that's how it is. Things sneak in that seem innocuous at first, but little by little you begin to understand the purpose.
 Remember when being "politically correct" was just a phrase? We joked about it. "Uh-oh, I'm not being 'PC' ha ha." You remember. Okay flash forward to now. How many times have you started to make a comment on Funkbook or somewhere and stopped yourself; for fear of " offending" someone or saying the "wrong" thing? You've probably done it 100 times by now. I know I have. "Nope...can't say this. Can't say that. I'd better rephrase this." There you have it...PC come to life. Do I sound like a lunatic? I suppose so. Oh, and BTW what I'm saying here will probably be tagged as "hate speech." That's funny considering that I don't even hate people whom I absolutely know hate me. I don't have the energy to waste on hate. I never have and I never will. Hate will eat you alive from the inside out. Google it, Dylan.
 This "report abuse" link started popping up a year or two ago on websites, YouTube channels and such, and now it's everywhere. The owners of these sites didn't place it there: it's just there. They'd have no need for it. Any "abuse" on any site is just digital. If some asshole makes a nasty comment on your YouTube channel for instance, you can block them with one click. Same with any website. It's no big deal. But now, those same assholes can simply click the 'report abuse' link and it counts as a strike. It doesn't even have to be legit, and most times it's not. See how this shit works?
 For most people who even noticed it; even someone who's somewhat observant and can see 5' past their smart screens, it seemed at first like something to ignore. At first I thought it was a good thing. If someone was having problems they could report it. I didn't realize that it would be kept track of, and logged as a mark against the site. Here's the kicker: It's  pretty much a 100% a lopsided deal. Alls the trolls have to do is click the link and say "I'm offended" or "This is hate speech," and that's it. There's not even a casual look into it; much less a proper investigation to see if the claim is legit. It's almost automatic. The complaintant is always right. The channel owner can file a rebuttal, but the process ties things up and frustrates them and wastes time, which is the point, and in the end they often lose. Three strikes and you're out. Just like baseball.
 The upshot is that a YouTube channel, and more recently websites, can be shut down in a matter of minutes, and 99.9% of the time it's totally bogus. People work very hard for years developing their websites or channels, and BOOM, they're gone. Ostensibly what this link was supposed to be used for was to stop abuse on YouTube channels and websites, but what it's really used for is to stop certain people for saying things that certain people don't want them to say. It's fact, and all data relating to it is available for public view. This is not a "conspiracy theory." It's fact, Jack. Are you beginning to get the picture? As Mag would say: "Wake yo' ass up." I second that. Get ready to say goodbye to a shitload of truly informative, entertaining, and badass sites. They'll disappear with one click. And we're letting it happen. That's the sad part. Well, see ya. I have to go the store now. I'm out of Reynolds Wrap. Have a nice day. Oh, before I go...there's that eyeball thing again. Imagine that. Right in front of your face. Peace.

Targeted Adverising

Wel, well...looky here. I just published a post about Lando Calrissian being poly, and when I went to YouTube this ad was waiting for me. Nah...they don't keep track of every single thing you do, say, text, post, or now, even think. Oh, yes. That's here.
 I was talking to a friend Monday and I was telling him why I'm not on the Facebook. He said something to the effect of "I bet if you were selling your stuff you'd have a page." I said that I probably would, and I was telling him about Shopify or something where they have special platforms for selling on Facebook. That evening I counted no less than six different companies with platforms. Ain't that some shit?
 Why would they want SO DAMN MUCH INFORMATION on everyone? I'll leave it to you to do your own research, which you probably will never do, but I can tell you that advertising is just the tip of the evil iceberg. Light is being shown on darkness as we speak. You'll see. I just hope it's in time. Look at that shit...Calrissian is looking longingly at whom I presume to be Han Solo. Oh, well...he's "poly." It's "normal."
 Just for a test, let's see what happens. Donuts. Yo, I LOVE DONUTS. Bet I'll see a Krispy Kreme ad. I bet dollars to donuts.