Tint Tim Revisited

[ ]I recently did a post about Tiny Tim, the legendary-lefty Uke player and falsetto singer. I talked about the impact he had on me and how I knew he was much more than a "novelty act," which so many saw him as, and how he seemed to be a genuinely good person. He had a heart attack and died onstage, performing his hit "Tiptoe Through the Tulips," which I think is the ultimate way for a musician to go out. I was just watching a video about him, and one of the comments put a lump in my throat. [ ]It said "I met him in person. I went to one of his later-in-life appearances. I'm ashamed to say I went to mock him. Then we met and shook hands. He was so kind. His eyes were so kind, and I knew he just wanted what we all want: kindness and compassion. I was so ashamed of myself. I complemented his hair color. He told me he used Miss Clairol 23, and his eyes were filled with gratitude for my small acceptance of him. That was an enormous lesson for me at age 25, and I'll be forever grateful that he was my teacher. Bless you Tiny Tim- you taught me about kindness and compassion." What an amazing story. There were over 1,200 replies to that comment, which I've never seen before. I said that Tiny Tim was a good person. I rest my case. God bless you Tiny Tim.

Quote of the Day

"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tunes without the words, and never stops at all." - Emily Dickenson

Stash (Cache) Cap

[ ]They're coming out with some cool stuff in the tactical/EDC (everyday carry) department. I guess they've had stash caps for a while but this one is fairly new I think. A few years ago a search of "tactical caps" would take you to pages where they had baseball caps filled with lead shot. You could use them to whack the shit out of a perp. I don't know of anyone who's been beaten to death with a baseball cap but stranger things have happened. [ ]The Cache cap by Wazoo Survival is a little kinder and gentler, although you could keep a small knife or some such weapon in it I suppose. It looks like a normal baseball cap but it has several hidden pockets, making it "tactical." There are guys who do videos on these and it's amazing what they can cram into these caps. Some of them pack gear like firestarters, small fishing and sewing kits, mini-multitools, meds, water-purification tabs, foil, duct tape, cordage, wire saws, a compass, whistle, signal mirror and such. Except for food and water it almost becomes a survival hat, and that stuff could actually save your life if you were caught in a snowstorm or ran off the road and got hurt or whatever. Seeing all the stuff they pull out of their caps reminds me of a clown car, where there's a dozen clown in a tiny little whoopty car. Except for looking like the wearer has a mild case of Encephalitis maybe, you can't tell there's anything in it. Seriously it's pretty discrete. [ ]I might pack some of that stuff in there if I were planning a trip to the river or something but sadly I don't get to do that any more. For an EDC deal I'd probably pack some cash (while it'll still works), a small flashlight, small knife or razor blade, maybe a bandana, a mini Bic lighter, a spare key, a rubber band or two, a small screwdriver set or maybe a mini Leatherman, a couple of Bandaids and alcohol swabs (for the times we're in). I'd write my name in that bitch like I was back in summer camp. Well, actually I'd probably just put a card with my contact info in it. Speaking of the past, in the olden days I'd have also put a small pen or pencil and a few sheets of paper, in case I might happen to get some digits from a female-type person. I guess they could still come in handy. Or maybe I'd just pack it with lead shot and use it to beat the shit out of someone if I really had to. Nah, I'm kidding. I'm a lover, not a cap-fighter. But it would be pretty funny to see some guy who'd been pummeled by one talking to a friend about his fucked-up face. "Dude, WTF happened to YOU?" "Some dude beat me up with a baseball cap." "Huh?" [ ]I watched a vid about this hat before I started this post. The guy had a water bag plus water tablets. The bag is plastic and folds flat, and you can even boil water in it. He also had a wire saw, compass, firestarter and tender, 15' of thin paracord, two of those thin, "credit-card" tools, one a fishing kit and one like a multi-tool, a small drill and a whole array of bits, fancy gel bandages, antibiotic ointment, alcohol prep pads, several different meds and such, cash, keys, a few tiny glow-sticks plus a USB cable and adaptors. Oh, and he had an extra mask, which sadly isn't a bad idea these days. I left a comment saying that he could survive in the woods, become a medic, build a hut and run a business, all from his hat. I also mentioned the clown-car thing. He just now replied and said "Best comment ever!" There are three pockets under the bill and a pocket underneath the crown and side pockets around the rim. He had all that shit in there, with room to spare. Wazoo makes a range of gear specifically for the cap, with some items sealed in plastic that forms a curve and is designed to fit in the curved rim pockets. Pretty cool. [ ]My hair has gotten long enough that I'll need to wear a hat soon so I can see. I have a few but nothing as cool as a cache-stash cap. They have a gray one that's cotton but all the other colors, and camo, are rip-stop nylon. I'd choose cotton of course but nylon might be better in certain situations. It's not like I have a busy social calendar but if I was leading a normal life and going places and gigging and whatnot it might be cool to have a cache cap. $30 isn't a bad price but they do add $5 for shipping. You can spend a lot more than that on the custom tools they make for it or you could certianly fill it with your own stuff. There's always times when you could use a flashlight or a knife or a rubber band or some extra cash, or your dumb ass locks yourself out of your crib. You could turn an "Oh, shit" moment into a "Thank God I have my Cache Cap" moment. If there happened to be a damsel-in-distress involved and you saved the day, you'd probably get laid. That wouldn't be a problem at all- the Cache Cap has plenty of rooms for condoms. [ ]I'm sure some people might be tempted to use it as a "party hat." It'd probably hold half a Zeeber in the rim pockets alone. A pinch-hitter and a mini Bic would fit perfectly in the brim pockets. You'd be a sitting duck if you got busted but I'm sure lots of people would overlook it. If you were in a bad part of town where you might get mugged you could leave $20 in your wallet so the bad guys wouldn't get mad and shoot you, and put the rest of your cash and cards, family photos and such in your cap. If they stole your cap though you'd be fucked. I guess that's when you should concealed-carry. [ ]Anyway a Cache Cap wouldn't be bad to have. You could always just wear it as a hat. It's very stylish, not that I care about that, but the cotton one especially looks really nice. A small "Wazoo" logo is embroidered in the same-colored thread just above the brim and to the side, so it's very discreet. I'm not a logo guy and I'd never pay to advertise someone else's shit, but in this case I don't mind and I even like it. It makes me think of "Out the wazoo" and this cap pretty much lives up to that term. You can pack it out the wazoo, and who knew? In these uncertain times it might be a comfort to some people knowing they had a few extra goodies up their sleeve. Or rather in their cap. I'd have tripped-out on this if it'd been around when I was a kid. It would've been secret-agent shit, or like Batman's utility belt. There's no telling what I might have kept in it...rocks, marbles, coins, arrowheads, fireworks...I'd definitely have had fireworks in it, and a book of matches. I'd have been the king! [ ]You can spend $30 on a nice cotton-twill hat all day of the week. If you're in the market for a new hat, might as well get one that can hold some shit. Even if you just carried a twenty and a spare house key it would probably come in handy one day. If you're going to the beach and don't want to take your wallet you could pack your keys, credit card, a bottle-opener, lighter, sunscreen, condoms, etc. If you decide to go camping you can pack it with a bunch of survival shit. It really was wild how much shit those guys packed in the hats, and even when you were looking for lumps they were very hard to see, and the average person would never notice. I have a giant pumpkin head, and when I put a cap on it stretches and distorts and has lumps anyway, so none would be the wiser. The geek in me thinks it's a great idea. If you added one of those dual clip-on LED lights that go on the brim of your cap you'd be happening. Hell, you might as well go on and add a propeller on top. You can buy those too. The stash cache hat. I can dig it. I tip my cap to all them over there at Wazoo.

Making Extra Cash in Indiana

[ ]A rather interesting law has been passed in Indiana. A $5,000 grant is being offered to churches of any denomination that start performing exorcisms. It's tough to make a buck these days and that might be an option for people living there. If it were available in this state I might look into it. I've occasionally thought about joining the Church of the Subgenious. One of the benefits of membership is that you become a legally-ordained minister. Of what I'm not exactly sure, but you're legal, and you can actually perform weddings, if someone were dumb enough to hire you. It would be hilarious to actually preside over a wedding. Plus you get some groovy paraphernalia and stickers and stuff for joining. If society should crumble, like some say it will, people will still want to get hitched, and if they couldn't find a real minister I could do it and it'd be legal...not that that legality would make much difference in such a scenario. [ ]If I lived in Indiana I think I'd be thinking about starting a church. I'd have the ordained part down. I could start the First Church of Hoosier Daddy. I'd get some holy water, a few cans of split-pea soup for someone to spew, and go nuts. And get $5,000. Plus I could legally marry people after the service. Maybe they'll pass that law here. Well, I'm talking about crazy shit again. Maybe I'm finally losing it altogether. Must be this plannedemic. In any case have a nice day, and if you happen to meet that special someone but you can't find a real preacher to tie the knot, feel free to hit me up. I can see it now..."Do you take this fine-ass sister to be your lawfully-wedded wifey?"

Making Money on YouTube

[ ]It blows my mind how much money some people make on YouTube. If you happen to be a narcissistic, cross-dressing man and you do makeup tutorials you can have a mansion in LA and a Rolls in the driveway. No shit. But those sad fucks are the exception to the rule. Having said that, some cats with medium-sized channels can still make some serious cash. Channels that are monetized have a "Superchat" option in the chat on livestreams. People can donate via CC or Paypal. Their comment is highlighted, and generally the host will acknowledge their donation, but not always. [ ]There's also a membership option where you pay a monthly fee. Your name in chat changes to green. It starts at $2.50 a month and goes up from there. There's one guy who comes on every morning with sort of a business/economics show. He'll have over 2 or 3K people watching his livestreams, every day, and he's selected the option where only members can chat. He probably has at least 1,500 members paying a minimum of $2.50 a month, plus people Superchat on top of that. Most people want a shoutout when they donate but he never pays a bit of attention to the chat. It's nothing personal; he wants to get his message across without distractions, even though the chat is basically dollar signs rolling by at a good clip. YT takes 30% off the top but who cares when that kind of money is rolling in. [ ]Don't get me wrong...I don't begrudge anyone (with a few notable exceptions) making money on YouTube. It's a lot of work being a content-creator, especially if you have a bunch of pro gear. It's a full-time job for lots of people. There are some good people on there and they deserve every penny. The morning dude makes a lot more than I'd think he would. He makes several-thou a month on memberships alone, but even without that I'd say he easily makes $1,500 an hour in his steams from Superchat. He clears over 11. He does a two-hour show seven days a week. Do the math. Plus he gets even more money from ads from the thousands of people who watch his livestreams later. Unreal. [ ]The image above is from a stream I was watching when I started this post. It's a missionary/minister-type dude. He does a lot of work in Africa which makes him okay in my book. He was doing a breakdown of the Super Bowl halftime show and I watched for maybe half an hour. I wasn't paying attention to the chat but all of the Superchats pop up at the top of the page, and his digits were pretty impressive. This is a random screenshot I snagged during the show. Not too shabby I'd say. You don't see all that many $400 donations but they do happen, and there were quite a few hunj donations. In fact when I checked again there was yet another $400 Superchat, as if they didn't want to be outdone. There were several more $100 ones and many other smaller donations, maybe 150 or so, ranging from $5 up to $50. I'm sure he cleared two grand or more. He's not quite up there with morning dude or makeup dudes certainly, but that kind of scratch ain't bad. He only goes live once a week or so, but morning dude must be nailing down maybe $750K a year. [ ]And still even that is a drop in the bucket compared to the dicksuckers. I haven't bothered to look into how much they make because I don't care, but it's a lot. Plus they get endorsements from the major beauty companies. What a flippy-floppy-ass world we live in. What some people will do for money never ceases to amaze. Morning dude has it good enough I'd say. Too much money can turn someone into an asshole, makeup or not. As it is I'm sure he's hired a good CPA and probably an attorney. Even missionary dude gets a good payoff for the time he spends. He probably takes in $35K or more a year, and that's just a part-time job. It's gravy. God's gravy as it were. Please pass those heavenly mashed potatoes. [ ]I've actually made some money myself because of my little channel, although it was unsolicited. I met a sweetheart about four years ago, and two Xmases ago she found out about the dog treats and ordered $100 worth. I made up a big batch and sent her some Moongazers and a small set of chimes as a gift, and she sent $50 more as a gift too. That worked out well. Another young lady took a shine to me. When she found out a couple of years back that we didn't have a washer and dryer (through a mutual YT friend) she ordered both from a local family biz and had them delivered. Another woman I met about two years ago ended up being a good friend, and a profitable one. The moral of this part of the story is that kindness sometimes does come back. [ ]Another sister showed up on the meteor page one evening. At first I didn't know it was a female. Her YT name was String Cheese, and at first I assumed it was a guy. Not only was she new to the meteor page and didn't know what was going on, she wasn't overly computer-savvy. I learned more in three years in that chat about things like weather, the Sun and its effects on the planets, earth changes and of course meteors than I learned in all my life before. So when a newbie showed up anyone in chat would try to help out if they could. Whomever it was I knew they were genuinely interested and eager to learn, and I jumped in to help. At first she apologized for asking "stupid questions" but I told her that we all had to start somewhere, and the only thing that would be stupid would be to NOT ask questions. That put her at ease and maybe allowed her to trust me. [ ]Long story short I found out she was a she, and over the next few weeks I helped her as much as my limited expertise allowed, and we became YT friends. After we'd been chatting for a couple of weeks I was helping her with something that was pretty involved. I can't type and I gave her my number and told her she was welcome to call so I could explain it in person. I knew it was a big step...women especially, but everyone has to be careful on YT, and whom you trust. There are some harmless (and fun) YT groupies out there, and believe it or not I have a few, but there are also stalkers out there, and worse. She did call, and it worked out great. I knew she'd love my mom so I introduced them, and now they talk once a week at least. She's a trip. [ ]About six months ago her dad passed away and she inherited some money. I should back up and say that before that she was struggling a bit, and when I found out through our same mutual friend that all she had to eat for the next two weeks was peanut butter, I sent her $40. It wasn't much but it helped her out when she really needed it. One day she called and said to check the mail. She sent me a $500 Amazon gift card, plus $150 in cash, $50 each for me, mom, and even my dog. How's about that? You never know how much a kindness might mean to someone. It's my nature to help someone if I can. I didn't know her from Adam. In fact I thought at first her name might BE Adam. I was happy to help, and it came back to me many times over. [ ]I've thought several times about starting a channel for monetization, and promoting it and the whole deal, but it'd mean working long hours and treating it like a business. It might be worth doing, especially considering there's not much else to do these days. At this point in time I doubt I could get to where morning dude is, but I know I could easily match missionary dude and then some. I have some ideas. When I saw the dollar signs popping up in missionary dude's chat I was floored. It'd take maybe a year to grow the channel but there are lots of ways to do that. I wouldn't want to have to work as hard as morning dude either, and the subject isn't my field of expertise. Forget makeup dudes. You don't have to suck any dicks if you don't want to. Making money on YouTube? Surprisingly it can be done. Maybe you'll have some YouTube groupies yourself. You never know. Get busy.

Leatherback Ceremony (Turtle Stories)

[ ]I bought some Cowrie shells on eBay recently to finish up a Beaver Stick I started probably twenty years ago. I'd decorated half of it and technically it could be called finished, and I've used it on several recordings and live a few times, but I wanted to finish it off with several more rows of Cowrie shells. They're beautiful shells and even better they're hollow and have a great percussive sound. In times like these people are giving away stuff like that, and I used the trick I mentioned where you put something in your cart but don't buy it, and the seller will see your interest and usually offer you a discount. One of the people who sold me the shells absolutely made my day, twice over. [ ]When the package from her arrived I was almost shocked. She'd made a handmade box, folded, painted and tied off with a ribbon. There was a small envelope and inside of that was a folded card like a greeting card. On the front she'd made an underwater scene out of shells and it was amazing. Some of that stuff is still cool but a bit cheesy but this was really well-done. She'd even made a jellyfish out of a shell, with tiny, thin pieces for the tentacles. It must have taken her at least an hour or so to make it. The star of the show was a Sea Turtle. I was blown away, and all for an $11 order, shipped. [ ]I'm a turtle guy from way back. I was immediately reminded of all the turtle incidents in my life. Some years back I rescued a Box turtle after a bad storm. He was disoriented because the landscape was torn up, and he kept heading full tilt for an interchange where two interstates meet. I kept turning him around toward the woods but he'd immediately turn back and take off straight for the highway, so I finally brought him home and let him go in the backyard, where there was a creek that led into the Little Cahaba River, where he'd be fine. About three months later I saw him on the front porch and he looked hungry. I recognized him by the distinct sunburst pattern on his shell. I was eating a banana and I broke off a piece and held it down to him and he immediately started eating. He really was hungry because he didn't flinch when I approached him. He set up shop under the front porch for about two years. I fed him every day and even gave him a water bowl, as recommended by the experts. He was a lot of fun. His name was Charles T. Box. [ ] Then there's the time I first met my friend Bruce. He's a fellow drummer and we'd played in a couple of the same bands here in town. We hit it off immediately. He's a character. He'd just had hernia surgery, and when I found out that he had to leave his drums at a club because he was in too much pain, I offered to go pack them up and bring them to his crib. I woke up early that morning and went back to sleep. I had a vivid dream about having some land and several turtle ponds. I'd go out to feed them and they'd all swim over and gather 'round to eat. There were freshwater turtles of every description. It was an awesome dream, and it'd be real life if I had my druthers. [ ]I snagged the drums and went to his place. I'd never been there before. On the way over I was still thinking about that dream. When I pulled into Bruce's driveway my jaw dropped and I basically froze in place, looking around. All over the yard there were baby pools full of all kinds of turtles. It had barely been an hour since I had a dream about turtles. Bruce asked me what was wrong because I'm sure I looked like a fool just standing there. I told him about the dream. "You're a Shaman" he said. I'll never forget that day. We hardly knew each other but we bonded over drums and turtles. As a bonus I quickly realized that I'd recently dated his sister a few times (boy, howdy she was fun) but I didn't tell him that. She did though and that always gave him something to rag me about. [ ]Way back around '93 or '94 I was at the Cahaba River one day. I looked down and noticed what looked like two thin circles drawn on the sand in pencil, and it turned out to be two tiny hatchling Musk turtles, about as big as a nickel, if that big. I can't believe I even noticed but maybe my brain is wired to recognize the turtle shape. I found them at the end of a tiny stream that ran into the river. The mother had laid the eggs a few feet up the stream, knowing that the babies would wash down into the river. I didn't know it at the time but it's illegal to keep Musk turtles, although I doubt you'd do any jail time for having a couple in an aquarium, and the Statute of Limitations has long run out. I put them into an aquarium that already had another river-dweller- a crawdad. There was a layer of sand, and I made a bank so they could get out of the water, so they felt right at home. I kept them maybe two years and they were really fun to watch. They ate everything from veggies to frozen Silverside minnows, and they'd eat out of my hand. When I'd turn on the light in the morning they'd excitedly swim up to the glass and paddle around like a couple of dogs, waiting to be fed. It was awesome. Most likely had I not brought them home they'd have ended up in the belly of a fish or a bird. They were tiny and their shells were soft. Just like the mother knows where to lay eggs, other creatures know too. [ ]I wrote to the woman to tell her how much I appreciated everything and how much I loved turtles. She told me that she gets most of her shells from Native tribes in Mexico, which is interesting in itself, but then she told me that they use Cowrie shells to make rattles, which is exactly what I'm doing. Small world. Then she told me about the turtle ceremony. It took me a minute to grasp the idea of Native people living by the sea, due to our westernized view of Natives, but man...talk about an interesting beach party... [ ]She said that every time they find a Leatherback turtle on land, they have a brief but huge celebration. Unlike our dumb asses these people understand the importance of any creature, and the idea that if one species is endangered we all are, and they especially revere the turtle. They hold to the Creation theory that says basically that the world was carried on the back of a turtle. As rare as the Leatherback is now (and will probably be finished off by all the fucking masks ending uo in the ocean) it's cause for celebration. I'd really love to know more about it and maybe she'll tell me more, but what she said was that they quickly paint it with temporary natural dyes and then they release it back into the ocean. She said the turtles don't seem to mind. It's showing reverence and respect and sort of a prayer for the continuing of the species. That's pretty cool. [ ]When you're a turtle person it's great to hear a turtle story. It's also great to hear that there are still people who give a damn about things like Sea Turtles. Plus we make rattles with Cowrie shells. I'm honored. It's nice to meet someone who's basically on my same wavelength. My love of turtles was no doubt enhanced when I read "Yertle the Turtle" by Dr. Seuss, but I'd be a turtle guy with or without that wonderful book. It's cool to know that I have something in common with that tribe- I love all creatures but I have a special place for turtles. If I had a "spirit animal" it'd totally be the turtle. Slow and steady wins the race. I'm not ashamed to say I pray for the Sea Turtles. They're going to need it.

People with Funny and Kinda Unfortunate Names

[ ]Who doesn't love funny names? There's actual people with names Like P. Ennis, Chris P. Bacon, Paul Twocock (interestingly a gay-rights activist), Jed I. Knight, Dick Power, B.J. Worthy, Dick Tips, Gay Neighbors, Moe Lester (classic) and Mike Litoris. I always thought racecar driver Dick Trickle had an amusing name, and one I wouldn't want. I always pictured him driving around the track with a sore bum, because he'd just had a big penecillin injection. But "Crystal Methany" takes the cake. It's so hilarious and unexpected. It's poetry. Either it came about naturally or her parents had a quite brutal sense of humor. [ ]I wonder what Crystal Methany got busted for but I really wouldn't want to get close enough to find out, and never fuck with a woman who can kick your ass. Crystal Methany...too much. Best of luck in the future, Crystal Methany. Love your name.