Learning what narcissism is all about was one of the hardest lessons I've ever had to learn but also one of the most important. It answered so many questions I had all my life. I never understood how people could do the horrible things they do, specifically how they could ignore the filters in most of our brains that prevent us from doing bad things. I was assuming that we all had those, but narcissists don't. They're wired differently.
Their brains aren't wired for things like empathy, which is the big one, but also love, happiness, peace and joy. They don't have those things. It's hard to get your head around the idea. It's sad. Lies are their truth. When you hear the term "pathological liar," it describes them to a T. The word delusional was created for narcissists I believe.
There are so many incredibly weird things about them, but maybe what flipped me out the most to learn was that they actually believe their own lies, and it's an amazing thing to witness. It's one thing to tell a lie, and sell it and everything else, and every human who ever lived has lied, but when most people lie they know it's a lie. Not narcissists. They believe their own bullshit.
Since they have no empathy they can't put themselves into anyone else's shoes, and they have no idea how they appear to others and how utterly laughable and immature they look when they tell these ridiculous lies.
Before I understood narcissism and was still with my narcissist ex, I knew something was totally off but I couldn't put a name to it yet. I just knew that she had some sort of a serious problem with lying, and it was super weird and creepy.
She'd tell lies all day long that were literally as crazy as saying it was daytime when it was dark out. They were that stupid and wrong. At first I thought she was kidding but then I realized that she seemed to actually believe them.
She'd tell some stupid lie and I'd look around the room and say: "Who else is here? You don't expect me to believe that do you?" It was freaky. Speaking of stupid, she couldn't handle being told that something she did was stupid. That's because deep down she knew she was stupid. There are exceptions but most narcissists aren't exceptionally bright. They can sometimes fake it but like everything else it's a lie.
Narcissists know that they're dark, sick and empty inside but they can't acknowledge it because it would drive them insane very quickly, so they have to create this imaginary scenario in their heads that's exactly the opposite...they're perfect; they never make mistakes; it's always someone else's fault, and whatever they say is true, hence the lies.
They create their own version of reality on the fly. They're truly making it up as they go along. When they get caught in a lie they'll never, ever admit they lied, because that'd mean they're imperfect. They just double-down and tell more lies, trying to cover for the ones they've already told. It's incredible to see.
Since lies are their truth, they lose touch with reality to varying degrees, and that's where the delusion comes in. You can't tell them otherwise...that's it's actually night when they said it was day. What anyone else on the planet says is wrong. "My way or the highway" is their mantra.
Since they're better than everyone else they're completely unable to form any kind of true partnership whatsoever, be it friends, coworkers or relationships. Again they can fake it like the best Hollywood actors but a relationSHIT with a narcissist will never work.
The case of the narcissist pictured above is a perfect example. This princess was driving drunk, and I mean hammered into oblivion, with her young children in the car. She hit several curbs and a wall, and was so wasted that she didn't realize that she was driving on two flat tires. For good measure she shat herself, which is why they put paper towels on the bench at the police station.
In typical narcissistic fashion she blamed the cops for her bullshit, saying that they were ruining her life. Sorry sister but you're doing just fine by yourself. Many narcissists have very serious substance issues because deep down they know they're pieces of shit and they want to dull that.
She could barely walk or talk and she could've gotten into a serious accident and "unalived" her kids or another family, but still she said that she's the best mom in the world. The crazy thing is that she actually believes it, and it's not just the alcohol talking. That's fucked-up. These nasty monsters really piss me off. Avoid them.
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