Quote of the Day

"You won't get Covid if you have these vaccines." - Joe Biden
 

Quote of the Day

"Get a job? I had a job...in the joint...pressin' them license plates. I was a license-plate-pressin' motherfucker." - Richard Pryor, from a classic skit. 
 

Selfie of the Day

I guess I've seen around a million selfies by now, and this one beats them all by far. I may be prejudiced, since I love turtles, but it's more than that. This photo should win an award. Sister is genuinely happy about it. You can't fake that look.

 She's like "Check this badass turtle who's letting me get all up in his personal space...what an awesome animal!" Turtle's like "Some of us just got it like that. Howdy Pard." 

 It almost looks like he knows he's being photographed, and he's doing an excellent pose. The piece of grass he's chewing on just seals the deal. And I mean, this sister is fine as wine, and probably a fellow turtle aficionado, but I can't quit looking at the turtle.  

 As far as selfies go, you can keep the narcissistic, cliffhanging, money-holding, titty-flashing, funny-face-making, thug-posing, drunk dipshit ones...this is the selfie of the century. I wouldn't mind being friends with both of these beautiful creatures. Maybe I could give them a banana. Say "Cheese!" 
 

Is It Real? (John 14:27)

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
 

Quote of the Day

"For everyone who laughs at what you're saying, there are a hundred more who want to hear it." - Mike, from Around the World
 

Quote of the Day

"You're part of a group that the general public despises. Even the other criminals hate you." - a predator-poacher, to a man caught trying to meet a child
 

Quote of the Day

"One does not desire the stars, but delights in their splendor." - unknown
 

Angry Birds

This is funny. My dog just took me out for a walk, and up in the trees above, a flock of birds was raising hell. They were squawking away in what I recognized as an "alarm" call. It was mostly Jays, but several other species joined in. It was this beautiful, angry-but-melodic cacophony, and I wish I'd recorded it. 

 I knew it wasn't us...we're out there every day, plus I feed the birds out back, and word gets around in the bird community. I was looking around for a gang of feral cats or whatever it was that they were chirping on about, and I looked over and saw an empty plastic bag of rubber snakes, plus a couple that had either slithered out of the bag or were discarded. 

 I have to admit they looked pretty real, sitting on the ground, and apparently the birds thought so too. It gave me a laugh. I have to give it to my dog...he wasn't fooled for a second, and he knows a real snake. For a primitive instant I thought they were real, but he didn't even bother to sniff. Then again, he's a lot smarter than I am. Them snakes was fakes. 

 I picked up the snakes and put them in my pocket. You never know when you might need a couple of rubber snakes, but mainly I didn't want the birds to be upset over fake snakes. The second I pocketed them, the birds got quiet again, except for a chirp or two that I think meant "Thanks." That was cool. Have a nice day.
 

Word of the Day: Swarf

I just learned a badass new word- "Swarf." Swarf is defined as "fine chips or filings of stone, metal or other material, produced by a machining operation." It's pronounced as "wharf" and not "arf," but either way would be funny. It's quite a mouthful, and doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but it's fun to say, and it takes a bit more effort than most words. 

 I learned this wonderful word watching a video where they were cutting a master lacquer of an LP, in this case a 78RPM. It was old equipment but it still worked fine. As the cutting needle etched music into grooves in the disc, it left a long thread of vinyl behind, which the operator carefully brushed away with a special brush. Nowadays they have a vacuum attachment that sucks up the Swarf, perhaps called a SwarfVac. 

 Because of SwarfVacs, I couldn't get a photo of Swarf coming off of a master lacquer, but the best example I can think of is the cymbal-lathing process. If you look carefully at the image above, you can see a trail of Swarf below the lathe. Cymbal Swarf is bronze, and valuable, so it's recycled, as I imagine some other Swarf is. 

 It probably comes from the Olde English word "Geswearf," or "filings," or more likely from the Norse word "Svarf," or "file dust." That's even more of a mouthful to say. Either way it sounds like a word that Dr. Seuss came up with, and it could be a title for a lost book..."The Swarfs, and Other Stories, by Dr. Seuss." Swarf...man, what a word. It might make a good band name or it might not, and oddly it's hard to imagine which it'd be. "Ladies and gentlemen...put your hands together for the SWARFS!"

 I don't know...people might be like, "Huh?" I do however, love band names that you can't fuck with, and nobody but nobody could fuck with a name like the Swarfs. You could play whatever you wanted. I can picture a marquee outside of a bar..."One Night Only...The Swarfs." I'm not sure about that, but it's dorky as fuck, and I have to love it for that. 

 So, what good is a crazy word like Swarf? Maybe not much, but you never know...you might get a gig at a cymbal factory, and maybe there's a gnarly babe working the lathe. You're dying to ask her out, but you suck at hitting on women. Then you remember Swarf. Problem solved. You ask, "Say, did you know that that stuff is called 'Swarf?'" "Swarf? Really? I didn't know that. Ha-ha, what a great word" she'd say. "Totally" you'd reply. 

 Before you know it you're saying the word to each other, giggling and making your mouths move funny. You're both overcome with desire, bypassing the normal grace period, you lock lips and you're doinking on the next break. Hey, you never know. It could happen.

 In any case, in case you've ever wondered if there's a name for all those filings, shavings, bits and bobs that come off of stuff when you scrape it, now you know there is...Swarf. What an ice-breaker. Enjoy.

 

The Numbers Game: Viewer 666

Here's yet another video where I happened to be the 666th viewer. 666 has been popping up a lot lately. It's just a coincidence, right? Bring it. 
 

Quote of the Day

"What for some is a passing breeze, is for others a tornado, which consumes every part of them." - unknown
 

The Pedo Files: Dressing for the Job

 

Ordinarily, seeing a grown man wearing a Cookie Monster T might be amusing, or maybe indicate a learning disability or something, but in this case it's sick and disturbing. This is how many pedophiles dress when they're trying to meet a child. It's of course to make the child more comfortable. These people are way fucked-up. 

 I should've taken screenshots of all the preds I've seen who wear T-shirts with child-related stuff. It's really weird. Why do they even make this stuff in adult sizes anyway? Hmmm... I'll have to admit that it's epic to see a grown man wearing a Rugrats T, pissing himself in the middle of Walmart, but it's damn creepy. 

 If you work in construction, you wear a vest and a hard hat. If you're a cop, you wear a cop uniform. If you're a pedophile, you wear Sesame Street shit. This is 100% Satanic. The Devil can masquerade as an "angel of light," or in this case, Cookie Monster. This is evil. Wake up. Protect your kids. Be safe.

T-Shirt of the Day

Brilliant. This made me lol, but that's because I'm a dork.