To say that the last couple of months or so I was with my ex were a living horror movie straight out of Hell would be a drastic understatement. It was freaky-ass creepy; wrong as fuck and pure evil. The last two weeks ramped-up to the boiling point and I was fighting to keep my shit together with four hours' sleep on a good night; trying to come to terms with all the hideous bullshit I was finding out about that'd happened behind my back and such, plus trying to plan a mad dash and grab what I could and split when she was at work, since she'd refused at least a dozen offers to break up like adults.
Anyway I was praying as much as I possibly could but things were so insane that I felt a bit disconnected from reality and the beauty of life and humanity and on and on. One day I was sitting out back at our old place watching the sunset. We had a pretty small backyard but behind that was the Cahaba River and nothing but woods in between. In fact there were so many trees that you could look directly at the Sun without shades and without being blinded.
I was in a state of deep sadness and bewilderment over everything and knowing I'd be leaving a place I seriously loved in a few days; not to mention a very long but horribly-doomed relationship, and the little fact that my ex never loved me for even one second of the time we were together, and in fact although she concealed it well, she truly hated me. Go figure. It was just the nature of her disease though and it was a compulsion. It was tough to learn and it certainly wasn't right. I never treated her that way. I was low, man, so I said a little prayer- "God, I know you're busy, but I'd love to know that you're still with me in all this."
Not a second later a dazzling rainbow literally filled my entire field of vision. It startled me it was so intense. It was like watching a Skittles commercial on acid. For a second I didn't know if I was tripping or what, but then I saw it was really there, although it took a moment to locate the source. I thought maybe someone was blowing bubbles, or maybe a glass globe had rolled down the hill...I didn't know what it was. Then I saw the female of a pair of Cardinals who were in their third year there. A pencil-thin beam of light was shining on her tail feathers and refracting into an amazing burst of color. As she moved about and through the fence to come have some birdseed, the rainbow would come and go and sometimes get intensely-bright. Sure enough the male showed up a moment later. He always brought up the rear and kept watch over her and made sure the birdseed area was clear. It was beautiful.
I looked side-to-side in either direction and there was't a single beam of sunlight shining anywhere else as far as the eye could see. In fact the Sun had almost completely set and the one beam shining on her tail was less than an inch wide; like a laser beam. I didn't have my camera or it would've made a spectacular photo, but then again maybe it was a private thing and meant just for me. Whatever it was it lifted me out of my funk immediately and made me realize what was really important...all the beautiful things in life that were REAL, and didn't cost a penny to boot. I've seen thousands of birds in the sunlight and I've never seen that happen even once.
I was humbled and intensely grateful. I was literally overcome with joy. I needed it. My eyes filled with tears; mostly because of the unexpected beauty, but also from sadness at having to leave my river and everything else there...the woods, the sunsets, our animals and neighbors, a beautiful and safe neighborhood to walk in, a river where I truly felt at peace and at home and where I felt the presence of a Creator; to whom I could pray without distractions, Mother Nature herself, the Cardinals and the cornucopia of other wildlife, and even my ex; God bless her.
It was just a coincidence though. There's no way in the world it could possibly be God answering my prayer. Most people these days don't think God is real anyway. Fair enough. I completely understand coincidences, but I'm just a backwards-bumpkin who's fooled his dumb ass into believing that just maybe there's a God and maybe He answered my prayer in an instantaneous and incredible way. It really makes you think, doesn't it? Sure should. For those keeping score, according to the Good Book the rainbow is a sign of God's Covenant with us.
I'm sure that rainbows have been mentioned since writing began but to get the most accurate idea of what something means you need to go as far back as possible. I know of nothing earlier that says that the rainbow represented anything besides a magic thing in the sky that no one understood, except for maybe the Egyptians and them. People thought there was a pot o' gold at the end of them. Anyway, whatever it was it was it was just what the Cosmic Doctor ordered. I'm totally thanking God first and foremost but I'm also sending out heartfelt thanks to the Universe in general. I'm glad to be human. This has been a coincidence. Have a nice day.
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