Corrected Song Titles for a Gender-Neutral Nation

If you think about it this gender-neutral business doesn't really say much for the propagation of the species, does it? As it turns out that's the whole point and it's by design, although most people can't grasp that concept much less believe it, but that's another story as they say. No one's talking hate or discrimination or anything else here but facts are facts.
 Like most people I have friends who fit the main letters of "LGBTQ." Certainly Gs and Qs (Q is their letter, not mine). I've known quite a few Bs and even a T or two. I played in at least two bands that were fronted by Ls, and I love those gals to death. As for all the rest of the letters I kinda doubt it, but the point is there's never been any hate for anyone in my life.
 I love those people like any of my friends and as I've said before, the main issue I see is that since we don't tend to run in the same circles for the most part, I don't get to see them as often as most of my other friends. I've never discriminated or made one word of "hate speech" toward them or anyone else for that matter, and that goes back decades. Anyone who'd try to accuse me of ANY of that is full of shit.
 This kind of thing has happened many, many times in history, and there's no telling how far it will go. The end result is actual book-burnings and such. Books, music, art, knowledge...they've all been destroyed and replaced with bullshit. In other words history has been erased and rewritten. Could it happen here? Most people don't think so. Unless you follow these things often enough to see trends develop; not to mention looking into it in the first place, which granted most people are way too busy to do, you don't notice it creeping along, just like the frog in gradually-boiled water thing. If you don't really look into it with an open mind (that's key) then it sounds crazy as hell and I get it. Ever hear that truth is stranger than fiction? It is.
 If that were to happen, God forbid, then we old fucks who lived it would have to be eliminated or declared legally-insane; otherwise stories would be told in the long-held oral traditions. People would hear tales of a time when there was at least an illusion of freedom, but they probably wouldn't believe them. People don't miss what they never knew is what I hear, but that don't make it right. A time when we were free to say things we want to say, and I don't mean idiot shit about harm or actual hate or discrimination or anything else of course, may be something our kids never know, and in short order, but it will have existed at one point. Gov't-mandated "political-correctness" will be all they'll ever know, at least if the current trend continues. Think about it. If you still have a working brain, that is. I don't mean Google it, either. Your brain is your second-largest organ. Use it or lose it.
 Speaking of working brain I have to mention something that made me laugh and cry at the same time. I was in a chat and made the hideous mistake of using the pronoun "he" to describe a frog, and this chick jumped my shit all over the place. It really offended her deeply. Why? I wondered if she was offended on behalf of the frog or herself or all living things in general or the LGBTQ, etc. community or what. To think it's somehow offensive is a joke. NO ONE is getting offended and there's not some "principle" or anything else to uphold here.
 Discriminating against another person for ANY reason is a different story altogether and I've NEVER supported it. And for real...this chick can't find something actually worthwhile to get upset about? Social issues? Crime? Poverty? She loses it about not using a gender-neutral term to describe a frog? The truth is I love frogs way more than some of the pond-scum humans I've met, and this is definitely no slight to frogs, but it's a pretentious-asshole waste of energy and phenomenally-stupid. It's bullshit.
 I apologized and told her I meant no hate speech toward any specific frog group, and if that was her biggest problem she was lucky but maybe she should get her head out of her ass so her brain could get some oxygen. "Ribbit." It was met with a chorus of LOLs and such, except from her of course. It's a fucking frog. I seriously doubt it gives a fuck. It's been said thay way for centuries at least, with no malice towards female frogs whatsoever. It's a term, not a fucking gender issue. Come on. Seriously, who are the crazy ones? Fucking snowflakes.
 Anyway people may hear tales of ancient songs, although gender-specific terms in the titles won't be allowed legally by then. I'm going to wing it here and see if I can come up with a few song titles for this upcoming Brave New World. As you can see I've already made this classic hit by the Angels- "My B*yfriend's Back" PC for the New Age. It's just a rough draft. This must be an EP since there's more than one other tune on the disc. I also had to correct another song that would violate the new laws- "The G*y with the Black Eye." Say, is that song talking about violence? Sounds like it to me. "Toxic masculinity," eh? Bigger fish to fry in this world, PC motherfuckers. WAY bigger. Before I get flagged for "hate speech" let me see if I can come up with a few more politically-corrected titles.
  Before I get into it though, a line from Michael McD's classic song "What a Fool Believes" just popped into my head because it's pretty gender-specific. He...oops, I mean "that person" sings:
"S*e had a place in h*s life." It'll have to be changed to "They had a place in their life." Kinda blurs the meaning of the song, doesn't it? I guess it won't really matter since there won't be any more gender-specific tunes written anyway soon. Let's just say that if this is funny, humor can be darkly-ironic. Case in point. Okay, rant over...I think. Let's get started.

The Beatles "And I Love H*r" - And I Love Them
Mary Wells "My G*y - My Person
Paul Robeson "Old M*n River" - Old Person River
Robert Alda/Frank Sinatra "Luck be a L*dy" - Luck be a Person
Motley Crue "G*rls, G*rls, G*rls" - Persons, Persons, Persons
Hall and Oates "Sh*'s Gone" - They're Gone
Lynn Anderson "You're My M*n" - You're My Person
America "S*ster Goldenhair" - Sibling Goldenhair
Jimmy Dean (Special Clause) "Big Bad John" - Big Bad John/Big Bad Joan
Four Tops "Ain't No W*m*n Like the One I Got" - Ain't No Person Like the One I Got
Special Clause- If Dee Snyder is still alive, he'll...oops, I mean they'll have to change the name of their band to "Twisted Sibling." That's not bad actually.

Paul Simon "B*y in the Bubble" - Person in the Bubble
ELO "Evil W*m*n" - Evil Person
ELP "Lucky M*n"- Lucky Person
Eagles "Witchy W*m*n" - Witchy Person
Devo "G*rl U Want" - Person U Want
It's a Beautiful Day "G*rl with No Eyes" - Person with No Eyes

This is loads of fun and I could go on and on but you get the idea. It takes the yin and the yang out of it, no? This is funny/not funny. I feel another rant coming on...this kind of shit has actually happened in the past. Google it, Dylan. Think it can't happen here? I sincerely hope you're right, but if anything of what I'm trying to say without saying everything is true, then if we don't look into what's likely coming down the pike that's one thing, but if we have kids, then if we don't do even a tiny little bit of our own research, we just might end up wishing we had, and we just may end up being assholes. Our kids will let us know about it too. They'll be totally right. Common sense or "fear-mongering?" It's your choice. Have a nice future.