Discovering Nature

Day before yesterday my friend Greg and I went to a place called Moss Rock Preserve. This is an underwater view from Moss Rock Creek, from a video I took. I haven't been in the woods an ages, and Moss Rock is a strikingly-beautiful place. I knew I'd have a great time, but I also knew that I'd experience something profound, and I did. 

 As we were standing by the creek, a group of six young ladies walked up and started talking to us. They were high-school age, ages 15-18 I'd say. I noticed a very strange look on one of the younger girl's face. It was a look of wonder, surprise, happiness and also some slight trepidation. I wondered what the deal was.

 Then another girl said that it was the younger girl's very first time to be out in "Nature." I just did manage to stop the words "Holy shit" from coming out of my mouth, and immediately went into "welcoming/education mode. She was staring at the creek with her mouth hanging open, as if she'd never seen one before, which incredibly may have been the case. I was gobsmacked.

 "Are there fish in here?" she asked. Again I had to stop myself from laughing. "Oh yes" I said. I pointed to a school of minnows, but she couldn't see them at first. To be fair they do blend-in, especially to city folk. She still couldn't see them, so I told her to focus on a big flat rock that was lighter in color than the surrounding rocks, and she finally saw the fish swim by. "Ooh!" she cried with delight. I almost burst into tears. It was heavy. 

 To see her actually discovering Nature for the very first time was something I was thrilled to share with her. She asked questions about this and that, and I answered as best I could. It was a joy to increase her interest, and without overselling it, I tried to at least plant a seed in her that Nature is cool, and she should dang-sure start enjoying it occasionally. I prayed that God would nurture that seed, and I know He will. 

 As I set up my camera for an underwater video, they walked on ahead, to the waterfall. After a few minutes we followed and stopped at the base of the "falls," which might actually be termed "cascade." The water mostly flows over massive rocks, rather than falling. It's beautiful. The girls were up ahead at the top of the falls, waving down to us. It would've made an excellent photo, but my camera was underwater at the time. Our new "Nature Girl" was grinning ear-to-ear. She was feeling it. 

 I know to never doubt my "Little Voice," so I knew something profound was going to happen, but I couldn't have imagined what took place. I hope that seed I planted in her will grow big. It was heavy. God bless you, New Nature Sister. Happy Trails!
 

More Delightful British Slang

I just ran across yet another charming British euphemism for "wanking," as the Brits would say- "Having a tug." To our ears it sounds more like "'aving a toog." That's classic. Ah, those Brits...they bever cease to amuse, but what would one expect from the culture who also gave us the term "Polishing the helmet?"

The "Good Clown" Days

As I've said before, back in the day, for Halloween parties and other special occasions where a costume was apropos, my default costume was loosely based on Emmett Kelly. He was sort of the "bum" clown, with a sad face and a five-o'clock shadow. I'm distantly related to him, so that was cool. I got away with so much shit wearing this costume that occasionally I'd do it just for the fun of it. 

 In fact, I was "clowning around" when this photo was taken. We were having professional photos made, and I decided to do the clown thing. The parrot was the photographer's idea. I wasn't supposed to be a pirate, but what the fuck. My mom was going through some of my dad's stuff and found it. Too funny, ha-ha.

 Some people have always been afraid of clowns, and understandably so, and there have always been scary clowns, but the era of the "creepy clown" didn't really go mainstream until two decades or so ago. Maybe the movie It jumpstarted it all...who knows. It used to be okay to be a clown. I miss those days.

 Some years back, sightings of "creepy clowns" in the woods, roaming streets and even appearing near schools and such began. After almost two years it died-down, made a bit of a resurgence, but we haven't heard that much lately, what with life being a clown show these days. I'll say again that I'll never forget one day about five years ago, when several schools were actually in lockdown due to sightings of "creepy clowns" in the woods nearby that morning, and it was right near us.

 I t was surreal walking the dogs while the local schools were under lockdown, and scanning the woods for the possible presence of a creepy clown. How crazy is that? I knew that the world was further losing its collective mind when things like that were happening. My ex didn't want to go on the midnight walk that night. She was terrified of running into a creepy clown. I have to admit it's a bit of a mindfuck. I told her not to worry, if I saw a clown I'd honk his nose and then pepper-spray him, but she wasn't amused. 

 There was a time during all that where you'd get the shit beaten out of you if you were caught wearing a clown costume, but my clown days were mostly before things got this fucked-up. The crazy shit I got away with...I realize that pretty much any costume gives a person an "alter ego," and the right to behave differently, within reason. Even so there was something about a clown costume, and maybe even this clown costume.

 It wasn't the traditional funny clown with the bulb nose, although I did carry a squirt-flower many times, it was more...I don't know...subtle maybe. Without wearing a mask, it was amazing how it completely changed my appearance. I could walk right up to people and they wouldn't recognize me. It was somehow disarming, and people kinda expected you to do crazy shit dressed like a clown, and I got away with some shit I still can't believe. 

 Seeing as how I'm all old and skinny and gnarly now, seeing this photo was a bit of a shock. Of course about half a century has passed since it was taken, but back then I didn't make a bad-looking clown really, if I do say so myself. No wonder I got so much high-quality pussy. Heck, I'd'a done me. Cheers, Emmett!
 

The Real Stay Puft Man

I found the real Stay Puft Man. No shit...this is him. If you were somehow able to float this fuck above a big parade, everybody would flee in terror. Let me be clear that I'd never make fun of someone like this, with issues such as swollen ankles, cheeseburger body and not being able to see his dick, but this person in reality is a sick, evil bastard, and deserves to be exposed. Besides that he looks exactly like the Stay Puft Man. Holy Moly.

It's him, minus the hat. The real guy is even scarier. He could be in movies too. The resemblance is uncanny. 

 

Best Choice of Names for a Business?

I just saw an ad for photos printed on glass. It's nothing new...some of the very first photographs were printed on metal and glass, but apparently this company has a durable process, decent prices, and an advertising budget. 

 Apparently the photos have an acrylic backing and hook, and are ready to hang. They showed an attractive woman hanging a couple on the wall, unframed, and I was thinking "I bet they're not in Cali." 

Then I noticed that the name of the company was "Fracture." I know I'm a straight-up dumbass, but I also know that if I had a company that made glass photos, the last bloody thing I'd name it would be "Fracture." That cracks me up. 
 

Quote of the Day (Occasional Repost)

"This ain't Rock and Roll...this is GENOCIDE!" - David Bowie
 

"Heatwave!" Movie: A 70s Social Experiment?

 

I remember watching a movie way back in high school, and it flipped a lot of people out in an interesting way. Over the last two decades or so, as I've begun waking up, I occasionally think about that movie, and wonder if maybe it was a bit more than just a movie. 

 Back then, when network TV was all there was, they had "Made for TV" movies. Heatwave! came out in 1974, and a bunch of us got together to watch it at someone's house. Before YouTube, the Internet, computers and even cable TV, a "Made for TV" movie was a big deal, so we had a party. It was a scene repeated all over the country. 

 A few months ago I looked it up and watched it on YouTube. It appears to be ripped from a TV broadcast, probably from a VHS tape. I'd forgotten that it had this "Made for TV" babe, Bonnie Bedelia. I'd forgotten her name, but she was in every TV show of the day, and a few real movies. I didn't have a thing for too many movie stars, although Kim Darby comes to mind...but I thought Bonnie was really hot. 

It also starred "Actor Guy," whose name I can't remember either. He was also in every TV show of the day, although I don't think he cracked the big screen like Bonnie did. He was sort of a living Ken doll dude, or a TWG (Token White Guy). As you can see he's supposedly sweating, as were all the other people in the movie for the whole time. 

 The movie chronicled a heat wave, presumably somewhere in California. It started off with Bonnie and Actor Guy trying to sleep, already drenched in sweat, waking up and watching the window-unit AC go off. They set the tone for the movie right off the bat...hot as Hell, and getting hotter. 

 The first half of the movie was in the city, and the second half was at a cabin in the mountains, where they went to escape the heat and the city. As the movie progressed they'd cut to scenes of the temp climbing...first 92 degrees at the start of the heat wave, finally to 118 or so. That's hot.

 A bunch of shit happened besides just a bunch of people being freshly-misted with baby oil before each scene...there were blackouts, she was nine months pregnant, water was scarce, they ran out of gas, got mugged, etc., more bad guys near the cabin and other such drama, but it turned out okay. 

 I think a more interesting drama took place in the room where we watched the movie, and again, it was a scene repeated all across the US. The temperature in the room was normal, but about halfway into the movie, we all began to feel hot, and we opened all the windows. The odd thing about that was that it was freezing outside... the dead of Winter. It just seemed like the normal thing to do, although it wasn't. I remember sitting there thinking that with all the windows open and it being Winter, it must've been 40 degrees tops in the room, yet we all felt hot. There's a mindfuck for you. 

 I don't remember too many "Made for TV" movies from back in high school, but Heatwave! was one of them. Just to make sure I was remembering it right, I looked up the release date, and sure enough it came out in January. It's interesting enough that a movie about a heat wave would come out in the Winter, but I suppose it wouldn't have had the same impact as it would if it was released in July. And again, without the Internet and a million other distractions back then, this was a big deal, and it had a huge audience. 

 Lest ye think we were a singularity, and just a bunch of southern dumbasses being mindfucked by a movie, we learned over the next few days that the same thing happened everywhere it was cold and there was a TV set, which in January was most of the country. I guess after the movie ended, and people realized that they'd been mindfucked, and it was 30 degrees in their house, they shook their heads and cranked the thermostat. I wonder by what percent gas and electricity use went up in the hours after the movie ended, because it must have been significant. 

But was Heatwave! really a "social experiment?" If not, they sure couldn't have picked a better movie to do it with. A lot of people got gotten. It made me laugh at the time, although I was only just beginning to think more deeply about what was underneath, or behind the scenes, with stuff like this. 

 Here we see Actor Guy, Balding Actor Guy and sweaty, stripey Sally Secretary. This was early, before the blackouts and the AC going out and the water running dry. There was an ominous scene where Bonnie's character turned on the faucet, and brown sludge came out. Yikes. Everybody was soaked to the bone with sweat. 

 If Heatwave! wasn't a direct experiment, you can bet some people took note. If my dumb-ass noticed, other people way smarter than I am certainly noticed. Either that, or I'm just tripping, and making something out of nothing. In any case it was an amazing thing to witness, and I'm surprised more old-timers don't talk about it. Speaking of old-timers, like any old movie it's a visual history lesson, and this movie is worth watching, especially for free. Unlike so many movies these days, it had a happy ending. Ahhh...the good ol' days (sigh). 

 And speaking of good ol' days, I remembered my crush om Bonnie, and decided to peruse some images. I found this one of her, even wetter than in Heatwave! and showing a bit more skin...

...and finally, Ta-Dah...Bonnie semi-naked, in the not-made for TV movie Then Came Bronson. Often they fake "nude" photos of various stars, for nostalgic, horny old geezers like myself I guess, but this is a legit still from the movie...that's her.

 I saw that movie but it must've been the edited version, because I damn-sure wouldn't have forgotten seeing Bonnie half-naked. It couldn't happen. The first real naked woman I saw in a movie, and not just in a magazine, was whomever that sister was who was in the movie Vanishing Point. She came riding up totally naked on a motorcycle, and I'll never forget it. That's another one worth watching.  

 I saw Then Came Bronson in the "Edited for TV" version, and of course this scene was blurred or whatever, but it was part of an important scene which they couldn't leave out, but I don't remember how they got around it. Looking back, I feel cheated...I didn't get to see Bonnie naked, back when I had a crush on her. Anyway, that's my gratuitous nudity for the day. It's mostly for me anyway, since I'm the only one who reads this blog, but yeah...Id'a hit it, back in the day. She still looks pretty good, BTW.

 I think there's an excellent chance that Heatwave! could've been a social experiment, and I say that because we know for a fact...well, some of us know, that social-experimentation goes on 24/7. If it was, then I think they were just having a laugh, although the effect it had on people was very serious, and I saw it happen in real time. The crazy thing is that people didn't realize the absurdity of it at first...opening windows in the dead of Winter, because they felt hot from watching a movie. They didn't realize for a bit that they'd been mindfucked. 

 The fact that the movie had such an amazing effect makes me wonder if there was some "subliminal" stuff in it, such as quick text appearing on the screen, like "You're feeling hot" or whatever. It came out right about the time that all the stuff about subliminal advertising came out. Books such as Subliminal Seduction had come out, featuring the classic Gilbey's gin ad, which clearly shows "S-E-X" written in the ice cubes. 

 

 Things came to light, such as the now-famous experiments in movie theaters, back in the 60s and 70s, where they flashed things like "Drink Coke" and "Eat popcorn" flashed across the screen, too fast to be perceived consciously, but absolutely picked up by the subconscious, and everyone hit the concession stands, without really knowing why. What's hilarious is that all the big ad companies, when confronted, apologized and promised to stop doing it. Right. Believe me, subliminal advertising is alive and well.  

 I bet I watched about 100 "Made for TV" movies, and Heatwave! is the only one I can remember, so obviously it had an effect on me, and lots of others. Experiment or no, it was a trip to see. Stay cool.