The Real Stay Puft Man

I found the real Stay Puft Man. No shit...this is him. If you were somehow able to float this fuck above a big parade, everybody would flee in terror. Let me be clear that I'd never make fun of someone like this, with issues such as swollen ankles, cheeseburger body and not being able to see his dick, but this person in reality is a sick, evil bastard, and deserves to be exposed. Besides that he looks exactly like the Stay Puft Man. Holy Moly.

It's him, minus the hat. The real guy is even scarier. He could be in movies too. The resemblance is uncanny. 

 

Best Choice of Names for a Business?

I just saw an ad for photos printed on glass. It's nothing new...some of the very first photographs were printed on metal and glass, but apparently this company has a durable process, decent prices, and an advertising budget. 

 Apparently the photos have an acrylic backing and hook, and are ready to hang. They showed an attractive woman hanging a couple on the wall, unframed, and I was thinking "I bet they're not in Cali." 

Then I noticed that the name of the company was "Fracture." I know I'm a straight-up dumbass, but I also know that if I had a company that made glass photos, the last bloody thing I'd name it would be "Fracture." That cracks me up. 
 

Quote of the Day (Occasional Repost)

"This ain't Rock and Roll...this is GENOCIDE!" - David Bowie
 

"Heatwave!" Movie: A 70s Social Experiment?

 

I remember watching a movie way back in high school, and it flipped a lot of people out in an interesting way. Over the last two decades or so, as I've begun waking up, I occasionally think about that movie, and wonder if maybe it was a bit more than just a movie. 

 Back then, when network TV was all there was, they had "Made for TV" movies. Heatwave! came out in 1974, and a bunch of us got together to watch it at someone's house. Before YouTube, the Internet, computers and even cable TV, a "Made for TV" movie was a big deal, so we had a party. It was a scene repeated all over the country. 

 A few months ago I looked it up and watched it on YouTube. It appears to be ripped from a TV broadcast, probably from a VHS tape. I'd forgotten that it had this "Made for TV" babe, Bonnie Bedelia. I'd forgotten her name, but she was in every TV show of the day, and a few real movies. I didn't have a thing for too many movie stars, although Kim Darby comes to mind...but I thought Bonnie was really hot. 

It also starred "Actor Guy," whose name I can't remember either. He was also in every TV show of the day, although I don't think he cracked the big screen like Bonnie did. He was sort of a living Ken doll dude, or a TWG (Token White Guy). As you can see he's supposedly sweating, as were all the other people in the movie for the whole time. 

 The movie chronicled a heat wave, presumably somewhere in California. It started off with Bonnie and Actor Guy trying to sleep, already drenched in sweat, waking up and watching the window-unit AC go off. They set the tone for the movie right off the bat...hot as Hell, and getting hotter. 

 The first half of the movie was in the city, and the second half was at a cabin in the mountains, where they went to escape the heat and the city. As the movie progressed they'd cut to scenes of the temp climbing...first 92 degrees at the start of the heat wave, finally to 118 or so. That's hot.

 A bunch of shit happened besides just a bunch of people being freshly-misted with baby oil before each scene...there were blackouts, she was nine months pregnant, water was scarce, they ran out of gas, got mugged, etc., more bad guys near the cabin and other such drama, but it turned out okay. 

 I think a more interesting drama took place in the room where we watched the movie, and again, it was a scene repeated all across the US. The temperature in the room was normal, but about halfway into the movie, we all began to feel hot, and we opened all the windows. The odd thing about that was that it was freezing outside... the dead of Winter. It just seemed like the normal thing to do, although it wasn't. I remember sitting there thinking that with all the windows open and it being Winter, it must've been 40 degrees tops in the room, yet we all felt hot. There's a mindfuck for you. 

 I don't remember too many "Made for TV" movies from back in high school, but Heatwave! was one of them. Just to make sure I was remembering it right, I looked up the release date, and sure enough it came out in January. It's interesting enough that a movie about a heat wave would come out in the Winter, but I suppose it wouldn't have had the same impact as it would if it was released in July. And again, without the Internet and a million other distractions back then, this was a big deal, and it had a huge audience. 

 Lest ye think we were a singularity, and just a bunch of southern dumbasses being mindfucked by a movie, we learned over the next few days that the same thing happened everywhere it was cold and there was a TV set, which in January was most of the country. I guess after the movie ended, and people realized that they'd been mindfucked, and it was 30 degrees in their house, they shook their heads and cranked the thermostat. I wonder by what percent gas and electricity use went up in the hours after the movie ended, because it must have been significant. 

But was Heatwave! really a "social experiment?" If not, they sure couldn't have picked a better movie to do it with. A lot of people got gotten. It made me laugh at the time, although I was only just beginning to think more deeply about what was underneath, or behind the scenes, with stuff like this. 

 Here we see Actor Guy, Balding Actor Guy and sweaty, stripey Sally Secretary. This was early, before the blackouts and the AC going out and the water running dry. There was an ominous scene where Bonnie's character turned on the faucet, and brown sludge came out. Yikes. Everybody was soaked to the bone with sweat. 

 If Heatwave! wasn't a direct experiment, you can bet some people took note. If my dumb-ass noticed, other people way smarter than I am certainly noticed. Either that, or I'm just tripping, and making something out of nothing. In any case it was an amazing thing to witness, and I'm surprised more old-timers don't talk about it. Speaking of old-timers, like any old movie it's a visual history lesson, and this movie is worth watching, especially for free. Unlike so many movies these days, it had a happy ending. Ahhh...the good ol' days (sigh). 

 And speaking of good ol' days, I remembered my crush om Bonnie, and decided to peruse some images. I found this one of her, even wetter than in Heatwave! and showing a bit more skin...

...and finally, Ta-Dah...Bonnie semi-naked, in the not-made for TV movie Then Came Bronson. Often they fake "nude" photos of various stars, for nostalgic, horny old geezers like myself I guess, but this is a legit still from the movie...that's her.

 I saw that movie but it must've been the edited version, because I damn-sure wouldn't have forgotten seeing Bonnie half-naked. It couldn't happen. The first real naked woman I saw in a movie, and not just in a magazine, was whomever that sister was who was in the movie Vanishing Point. She came riding up totally naked on a motorcycle, and I'll never forget it. That's another one worth watching.  

 I saw Then Came Bronson in the "Edited for TV" version, and of course this scene was blurred or whatever, but it was part of an important scene which they couldn't leave out, but I don't remember how they got around it. Looking back, I feel cheated...I didn't get to see Bonnie naked, back when I had a crush on her. Anyway, that's my gratuitous nudity for the day. It's mostly for me anyway, since I'm the only one who reads this blog, but yeah...Id'a hit it, back in the day. She still looks pretty good, BTW.

 I think there's an excellent chance that Heatwave! could've been a social experiment, and I say that because we know for a fact...well, some of us know, that social-experimentation goes on 24/7. If it was, then I think they were just having a laugh, although the effect it had on people was very serious, and I saw it happen in real time. The crazy thing is that people didn't realize the absurdity of it at first...opening windows in the dead of Winter, because they felt hot from watching a movie. They didn't realize for a bit that they'd been mindfucked. 

 The fact that the movie had such an amazing effect makes me wonder if there was some "subliminal" stuff in it, such as quick text appearing on the screen, like "You're feeling hot" or whatever. It came out right about the time that all the stuff about subliminal advertising came out. Books such as Subliminal Seduction had come out, featuring the classic Gilbey's gin ad, which clearly shows "S-E-X" written in the ice cubes. 

 

 Things came to light, such as the now-famous experiments in movie theaters, back in the 60s and 70s, where they flashed things like "Drink Coke" and "Eat popcorn" flashed across the screen, too fast to be perceived consciously, but absolutely picked up by the subconscious, and everyone hit the concession stands, without really knowing why. What's hilarious is that all the big ad companies, when confronted, apologized and promised to stop doing it. Right. Believe me, subliminal advertising is alive and well.  

 I bet I watched about 100 "Made for TV" movies, and Heatwave! is the only one I can remember, so obviously it had an effect on me, and lots of others. Experiment or no, it was a trip to see. Stay cool. 

 

 

 

Shots Fired Yet Again

There were more gunshots tonight...very close...ho-hum, right? I counted 17 shots from a very high-caliber weapon, and a few seconds later there were three more shots, from a different gun. 

 I'm guessing the first gun was an AK-47 or something similar, since there aren't many guns that can fire 17 shots without reloading, plus it was loud as fuck, and the next shots sounded more like a shotgun. 

 It happened a little after midnight. I was about to call it but the sound of gunfire kept me wide-awake, for some reason. It came from the same direction it usually comes from, about two blocks away. 

 There's a stand of trees in between here and there, which provide some cover (damn, it sounds like the jungle, which I guess it is), but distance-wise I'm well within the range of a bullet, stray or otherwise.

 This time I didn't walk out onto the deck to get a better look like I usually do, possibly because of the sheer firepower, but I did open the door and look out through the screen. I was waiting for half a dozen cop cars to show up, but nary a damn one showed. The same thing happened last time...not a single cop showed up, that I could see anyway. 

 Twenty shots from high-caliber weapons fired, and not one cop shows up. I've seen them swarm the place, for fewer and lower-caliber shots than this, but again I guess they're getting jaded. Maybe I'm getting jaded too...I didn't bother to post the last time it happened. How nice.  

 A while later I went outside to see it I could see or hear anything, and besides one flash from a bright flashlight, I saw and heard nothing. A kid who'd been visiting downstairs walked by. I'd never met him but he seemed friendly so I said hello. "What'd you think about those gunshots?" he asked. "That was some serious firepower. There were two guns too" I said. "Yep, I heard. It was close man" he said. "Too close" I said. "Like, less than a football field" he said. "Yep."

 "The first gun fired about 15 shots, and I'm guessing it was an AK-47" he said. "I'd agree, and I counted 17. The other one sounded like a shotgun" I said. "Yeah, I think so too. Dude, that's crazy. Do you think they were just shooting in the air?" he asked. "I hope so" I said. "Either that, or they were sending a message. And two different guns...I don't know. But I do know that not one single cop showed up, at least not that I could see."

 "Yeah man, I couldn't believe it. I thought it'd be crawling with cops" he said. "Yeah, it should be, but the same thing happened last time" I said. "Last time?" he asked. "Yep, this is like the 6th or 7th time it's happened since we moved in" I said. "Wow...and the cops don't show" he said. "Yeah...they're swarming the streets a few blocks from here...looking for drunks, but I guess they can't be bothered by a little automatic-weapons fire...or maybe they're afraid to get involved. Maybe that's what happens when you defund the poleesh" I quipped.

 "Ha-ha" he laughed. "Totally. You know they heard it" he said. "They had too've" I replied. "So I guess no one called 911" he reckoned. "We're all used to it" I deadpanned. "So...17 shots, huh? You counted?" he asked. "Yeah, it's kinda like 'pickup notes' in music...I can remember the notes that happened before I started counting" I said. "You play music?" he asked. "I play drums" I replied. "I play guitar" he said. "Nice!" I said. We shook hands. "I'm Kelly. Nice to meet you." "I'm James. Likewise" he said. 

 We talked about music, gunfire and a few other things. I've chatted with the people he was visiting a few times and they're super-nice and seem really cool, so I figured he was okay too, and we had a nice chat. As we parted I said "God bless, and stay safe!" and I really meant it. "Hey man, thanks, and God bless you too!" That was nice.

 It was definitely great to bond with some kid over a mutual dislike of nearby gunfire, but Boy Howdy, that was big-boy gunfire...and it was close. This is the motherfuckin' 'HOOD, yo. I do so love it here. 

 
 

Drummers Aren't Real Musicians (Proof)

Drummers aren't real musicians, and it was proven over a quarter of a century ago, in an episode of the amazing TV show Northern Exposure. As often happened on the show, the line between "visions," dream-sequences and reality was blurred.

 Shelley was two weeks behind schedule delivering her baby. She was concerned about why the baby was late, and get into a bit of a headtrip about how maybe the baby didn't want to be born, and what her future would be like. 

 On three different trips to the laundromat she "saw" three different versions of her as-yet-unborn daughter, with the same name they were thinking of naming the baby, Miranda, or Randi for short. Shelley saw Randi in three stages of life- first as a little girl playing with Barbies, rhen as a young teen and finally as a young adult, almost her age. 

 The teen Tandi played drums in a band called "Icefog," which is an excellent name anyway, but perfect for a show set in Alaska. Shelley, who was really into music, lit up and said "Cool! So you're musical." She didn't say "You're a musician," so I reckon that proves it beyond a shadow of a doubt. Oh well...back to banging logs with branches. 
 

Can You Cut the Cake? (with Only Three Cuts)

I ran across a little brain-teaser, that probably just shows that I'm a dumbass, because it took me about half a day to figure it out, but after scratching my head 'til my hair fell out, my dumb-ass finally got it. Can you cut a cake into eight equal slices with just three cuts? 

 Yes you can. Or as Obama once said, "Yes we can!" Backward-masking aside, you can cut a cake into eight equal slices with only three cuts. How? You figure it out. You'll probably get it immediately, but I have a learning disability. 

 I'll give you a hint or two, and this will probably give it away. First, the slices would be pretty messy but definitely equal, and if you cut a cake that way in front of anybody, they'd probably think you'd lost your mind. Happy ponderin', and have a nice day. 

 
 

The Deepest Quote Ever

Having played a couple-thousand gigs and done a bit of travelling, I've seen my share of public restrooms, and also my share of graffiti. Most of it is the usual stuff..."Here I sit, broken-hearted, etc.," or "For a good time call Betty - 699-669-6969," or the ever-classic "Jenny 867-5309," but then there's the occasional pearl of wisdom. There's plenty of "Hee-hawers" with Sharpies out there, but there's a few restroom-philosophers too.

 In fact, if I ever write the story of the Bud Greene band, the title will come from one memorable, and perfect quote, which I know was written by someone also travelling around in a band, and sums up life on the road, both brilliantly and humorously.

 But the deepest quote I ever saw would have to be, "Shit ain't shit, it's just shit." I can still remember seeing it and laughing, and having to agree. It's so true. It's deep, man. Think about it.